This past week, my nephew wrote and preached about a concept of top-down versus bottom-up thinking. The premise is that as humans in general and Americans in particular we view our lives as top-down. We have an ideal of perfection and anything short of that is substandard which causes us to be discontent, unhappy and dissatisfied with what we have. We feel entitled to the perfect ideal and shortchanged if that doesn’t occur. Contrary, if we are grateful and thankful for whatever we have, we are more likely to be appreciative, content and joyful in our lifestyle.

I think he is on to something. It is not that we shouldn’t have goals and targets but that we should start in a place of appreciation of our lives, of our circumstances, and of our material possessions. There are so many blessings that we do not even give consideration: trash pick up; water from the tap; light when we flip a switch, etc. One thing this pandemic has done for many is to open our eyes to a whole new world of workers: the faceless person behind the convenient store counter or the never-before-given- eye-contact grocery store checker or re-stocker. People and work for whom and for which we should be grateful.

It makes me think of the annual world happiness report- a “survey of the state of global happiness that ranks 156 countries by how happy their citizens perceive themselves to be.” The Nordic countries seem to be in the top tier every year. I have heard it said that one of the reasons they are so happy is that they have low expectations. While the actually report doesn’t say that expressly, they did report under the Nordic exception that research has “consistently shown that social comparisons matter for well-being…This is corroborated by findings according to which status anxiety, defined as the fear of failing to conform to the ideals of success laid down by society, tends to be lower in Nordic countries compared to most other countries measured.” It seems as if our Nordic counterparts aren’t too worried about failing to hit the perfectionism mark. “In assessing how good their lives are, humans often compare their own lives to the lives of those around them. This makes people’s subjective perception of their position in society more predictive of well-being than objective measures such as income.” The report goes on to explain, “ seems possible that keeping up with the Joneses doesn’t carry as much weight in Nordic countries as in the US and many other countries.”

Isn’t that a bottoms-up type thinking? If I am focused and grateful on what I have, I won’t be concerned with what someone else has and I won’t be setting a unrealistic standard and goal for myself.

It is the old adage of the half-empty or half-full glass. Those with the half-empty would say that they need to do everything possible to have a full glass. After all, isn’t that the standard? There isn’t much rest- mentally or physically until that measurement happens.

The half-full would see that the glass has a fair amount of water in it already and while making plans to fill it up, would be stopping to have a sip, to enjoy the refreshing liquid along the way.

Have you ever noticed that if the gas tank is on the 1/2 to full side of the gauge, it seems to take a long time for it to move downward? But if the indicator is between the 1/2 to empty side, it seems to go very quickly regardless if the same amount of miles are driven? I am sure that the miles per gallon is the same on either side of the half way point but my perception doesn’t share that. If we view life with an attitude of appreciation and positivity, we are more likely to “enjoy the ride”.

There are times however, when all the positivity just cannot carry us. The thing about the half-empty and half-full glass of water is that sometimes, we don’t even want to think about the water level. Life is too difficult or depressing or disturbing to worry about contemplating our viewpoint from either bottom or top. We don’t even know which way is up or down. We feel that we are floundering. We are beyond worry and anxiety and certainly are no where near a place of contentment or happiness.

When that happens, what do you do? Have you found that you feel like you are floundering while experiencing this pandemic?

I recently texted with a friend about that foundering feeling. We all get it. Whether it is from a point of overwhelming stress, anxiety, grief or dramatic life change, it still can feeI the same- trying to keep one’s head above the waves, treading water as fast as one can, yet still getting knocked in the nose and mouth with a snoot full of brine. When those times happen to me, I imagine myself floating. That is the thing with treading water- if you feel tired and need a little reprieve, you can always turn onto your back and float. Of course, floating isn’t a sustainable action- it won’t get you anywhere but it can offer some respite from kicking and windmilling below the water surface. Even if we are trying to reset our viewpoint from top to bottom, floating is the time for renewing our minds.

What about you? Do you need to float for a little while? Give yourself permission to do so. And then, when feeling refreshed, come back to viewing your life situation from a bottoms-up perspective- looking at what blessings you have in your life- big or small and enjoying them as you go along.