The other morning I was painting some molding for our basement remodel and was listening to some music. The song, “Smile” came on and perhaps for the first time in all the years that I have heard it, I listened to the words.

In some ways, it has a universal truth: smile even when you do not feel like it. Of course, that doesn’t mean to submerge your feelings. When we are at rock bottom- whatever the cause- we might not be physically, emotionally or spiritually able. But, I would contend that some times we are just being ornery- we want what we want and we want to be annoyed, angry or upset. We just like living in that pit.

I know that I sometimes feel that I just want to stay annoyed and mad at the world, and so I go about my day with a scowl on my face. I get so caught up in my own concerns, ruminating over the seemingly unfairness of life that I forget to smile.

In our old location, it was easy to go about with a scowl on one’s face. It seemed that many people I passed did. When I would smile and say hello, most generally I would not receive any response. Just a head down and a quick walk away. After receiving that type of response, it was easier to not even try.

These last couple of years with our masks and face coverings have brought home to me one of the many things that we lacked due to Covid: smiling and responding in kind. Sure, you can see the crinkly eyes above the mask, but it is not the same as seeing the upward curvature of lips, white teeth and perhaps a dimple or two. It is a joy to see a whole person. In person.

In our new place, I have yet to find too many taciturn New Englanders. Most are ready with a smile and hello. Not all. There is a curmudgeonly receptionist at one of the building centers with whom I have had to interact. Not exactly unpleasant. But not pleasant. Of course, this isn’t a scientific study with controlled variables. Since moving up here I am practicing smiling and greeting with most everyone I meet. And I usually receive a response back. Sometimes it is a lovely little chat or some interesting information about the area. Almost every encounter makes me feel good.

I think smiling makes us approachable. It draws one another into community. I think people notice people who smile, which in turn gives the smiler confidence. It also gives the one who receives the smile, confidence: both individuals are noticed. Isn’t that the beginning of community- seeing each other. Of course, the skeptics could say by smiling at all sorts of people, one can attract all sorts of people and maybe not the type one wants? But I think it is worth the risk.

The other day I was coming out of a store and an older looking Asian gentleman was walking in. I smiled and said hello. He stopped. Smiled. Proceeded on his way and then turned, in halting English and said, “Miss (that word alone was worth the smile!), do you know where Alton Avenue is?” And so I engaged with him, trying to find the address on my phone and to give him directions via words and gesticulations.

Of course, I will never know what happened after he left the parking lot. Hopefully he got to his destination. Still, those encounters are the filaments that connect each of us. It may seem small and insignificant like a single embroidery thread, but when we interweave our threads, we have a stronger community tie and a much richer tapestry.

What about you? Are you a smiler? Do you speak to people when you are out? To the grocery checker? The waitstaff? The neighbor you pass on the street? The homeless person sitting at the corner? Your family member or roommate?

I am going to try a 30 Day Challenge: To smile at those I pass during my day to day activities and invite you to do the same. It will be interesting to see what is the reaction and how the smiling changes or doesn’t change the outcomes of our day.

Benefits of smiling:

• Live longer

• Relieves stress

• Elevates mood

• Is contagious

• Boosts immune system

• May lower blood pressure

• Reduces pain

• Makes you attractive

• Suggests success- confident

• Helps you stay positive

  https://online.uwa.edu/news/benefits-of-smiling-and-laughter/

  https://www.hopkinsallchildrens.org/Patients-Families/Health-Library/HealthDocNew/Good-Reasons-to-Smile

  https://www.hopkinsallchildrens.org/Patients-Families/Health-Library/HealthDocNew/Good-Reasons-to-Smile