“What goes around, comes around.” African Proverb.

“I believe in karma, and I believe if you put out positive vibes to everybody, that’s all you’re going to get back.” – Kesha, Singer.

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” - Book of Acts, Bible.

While all these expressions may be true, I sometimes think we focus on giving for different reasons- fear of retribution, a cosmic tally sheet, sense of duty- and we can forget the receiving part.

We are coming into the season of gift giving. Lest you have forgotten, there are reminder advertisements. I have been thinking about the act of giving and receiving- the acts of service- rather than the consumables. How good am I in giving and receiving? What are the blessings in both of those postures? Do I enter into those postures because I recognize that we are all on this journey of life together?

When I broke my wrist last year and then had my subsequent surgeries there were many actions and services I needed to receive from others: showering help, opening cans and jars (I never realized how much my “other” hand held an item while the other hand opened it), pulling on my pants (my injured side was always askew), putting on shirts, slipping on coats and gloves, transportation to doctors’ appointments. While one hand or arm might not seem to be doing any of the “work”, I realized how much the arms/hands work in tandem- sometimes for holding, support or for balance.

I had a hard time asking for help. While I like to think of myself of an independent cuss and can manage most of what life throws at me, the truth is, I am no more independent than anyone else. Asking to receive help is tough. No one likes to be in the posture of appearing “needy” for it makes one vulnerable, exposed, and humbled. Yet, I had to admit that I needed help and support.

But what I have learned is that being the recipient of someone else’s giving/help is much more than just the transaction. It is the humbling of the recipient (me) that produces the real gift. It is the recognition that I am not the most independent cuss in the world. (As I often tell myself- You are not smarter than the average bear, Yogi). That I am just like everyone else.

“Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it.” 2 Corinthians 8: 14 (NLT)

The posture of humility that receiving puts us in, aligns us in the correct posture for helping others. I help, not because I am superior or in any way better than the one who is receiving my assistance. I help, not because I have to do it or something will come back and “bite me”. I help because I have received help in the past. I help because I have empathy and understanding of the vulnerability being on the receiving end exposes. I help because my good fortune today of abundance (of time, talent, resources) can help someone who might be struggling in those areas now, knowing that when I struggle there will be those who come to my aid. The way life unfolds, those of us who have had life experiences know that it becomes a question of when, not if we need assistance.

In essence, receiving help is just as, or even more so important than giving. Being in a posture to receive keeps the flow of giving/receiving going which in turn keeps us together on the journey of life.

Think of the experiences you may have had. If you have ever lost a loved one, and have received condolences, meals, or other life logistics from others, it puts you in a better future position to know how to help someone else who may be struggling with losing a loved one. Even if you have mostly been a giver in life, eventually you will experience something that causes you to need assistance and be on the receiving end.

What about you? As we approach the “giving” time of year, what is your posture? One of giving? Receiving? Humility? Empathy? Grace?

What has been your experience with giving and receiving?

“There, but for the grace of God go I”. John Bradford, English Reformer.