I heard the musician Mike Donehey talking about this new song, All Together. He said that many times while we may feel comfortable sharing our testimonies of past struggles we hesitate to share what we are currently going through. I thought that was an interesting observation.

The hesitancy to not share the current struggle is, I think, due to a fear of being vulnerable: exposed, unguarded, susceptible, unsafe, weak, accessible, defenseless, tender, wide-open. When we share our past struggles, there is an implication just by being “in the past” that those struggles do not plague us now, that we have learned, moved on or have become stronger. Admitting current struggles puts us squarely in the bulls-eye of vulnerability.

While there is a risk involved in sharing one’s issues, there is special bond between people when we do share with one another. I think of recovering addicts and those in a twelve-step program.

While I am not personally knowledgeable about the addiction community, from what I hear from friends and family who struggle and attend meetings is that the community is incredibly honest about their current struggles. Part of the whole point in the daily/weekly meeting is having accountability and recognizing that every day, sometimes every minute is a fight and the addiction is never once and done. There are no past testimonies only current ones.

“Cracks are where the lights get in…”

I love this line from the song. What a great image. I envision cracks in the sidewalk. A small opening that becomes wider, filling with dirt and debris, followed by a stray seed blowing into the opening. Water and sunlight mix and suddenly, a lone plant emerges. The jagged thin line of the broken cement can be the beginning of growth. Sometimes I think the most thriving plants grow and develop in the cracks of my front sidewalk.

I sometimes forget the importance of sharing with one another. Of course, there is a time and place to share. No one wants to be an Eeyore for every problem, but there are times when sharing about our difficult situations can help others. For in sharing, others realize that they are not alone and that if someone else can manage in similar circumstances, then perhaps they can too.

Years ago I shared with an acquaintance how I had struggled with depression due to a very stressful work situation. I explained how I did not handle the situation in the best way and was able to share my lessons learned. Whether that ultimately helped the individual, I will never know, but I think it did create some closeness that otherwise would never have occurred.

What about you? Do you try and hold it all together? Have you ever shared your struggles? Not just past, but present? What happened?

There is a risk in sharing about ourselves. I have felt the pain in sharing and having my feelings not well-received or nurtured. It stings one’s pride and makes one want to retreat into a little turtle shell. “Laugh and others will laugh with you. Cry and others will laugh at you.” was a maxim that I heard when I was little. From an early age I was taught to not share too much. Don’t be vulnerable because you most likely will get hurt.

As I have aged I have thought a lot about those sayings. While I struggle with sharing “my true self” and the ups and downs, I would rather be authentic in my life- which includes struggles. There is a line from a song Vince Gill sings about his wife Amy Grant. In it he says she likes the color black because without it there would be no depth. I think our sharing our current struggle, the darkness in our lives, brings depth into our relationships and light shines brighter in the darkness.