She pulls up to the ATM, gets out her card and thinks, “How much do I need this week? I have so many things to do: running the kids to soccer practice, piano lessons, math tutoring; then the PTA meeting; prepping for big client’s meeting at work. Gosh, then we have our dentist appointments. Oh, and then I am taking mom to the doctors. I guess I’ll withdrawal another ten… hours.”

The Time Bank- where we can deposit and withdrawal time as we need it.

I don’t know about you- but some days I wish there were a time bank. While we know it doesn’t exist, I suspect we would love to have that type of institution-a place where we can store up extra time (those miraculous days when we have arrived a few minutes early to our destination) or take out extra time when our weeks are overly packed and time is in short-supply.

The thing about time is that once past, it never returns. Kind of like squeezing a tube of toothpaste and having the toothpaste run out over the sink- you can never put the toothpaste back into the tube.

When you think about our usage of the word “time” it is used as a commodity: spending time, finding time, losing time, wasting time, time is money, over time, marking time, buying time, playing for time.

We talk about time flying- usually in relation to an engaged activity that we enjoy. Or about time moving so slowly- when we have the type of activity that seems to drone on and on.

I am always fascinated about time and how we, as humans perceive time and our response to it. I am always interested in ways to use my time wisely. There is a British author Oliver Burkeman who writes about the concept of 4000 weeks. (same name as his book) According to him, that is the average amount of time each of us has if we live to the age of 80. In some ways that seems like a lot of time, in others (especially those of us who are closer to that number than not) it seems so short. The big premise for Burkeman is that one should be “organizing your days with the understanding that you definitely won’t have time for everything you want to do". In knowing one cannot do everything, then one can decide on which tasks to focus on and which tasks to neglect. In essence, knowing what is important to you and letting the other things go.

I recently heard a psychologist on the radio program Hidden Brain also talk about taking control of our time. The researcher experienced what all of us do at some point- we are either overly busy and rushing from one thing to another, or we find ourselves with too much discretionary time- feeling bored and unproductive. What is the happy balance?

According to this psychologist, we need to rethink our concept of time: In some ways, to recognize that it is a precious commodity that is not infinite. There will be a time when there won’t be time. She gave the following exercise: “So if you reflect back on your past week and identify what was a moment of joy, oftentimes it's a very ordinary experience. And so what I encourage people to do is count how many times have you done that in your life so far? And then to count how many times do you have left to do it in your life.”

She gave the following example of a student in her late twenties who counted her dinners with her parents including from her childhood into adulthood when her parents would visit her at college and then currently as she was living nearby her parents and had weekly Sunday night dinners. And she counted all of those up and realized that she had had about 6,800 dinners with her parents thus far in her life and most likely 575 dinners left. As the researcher continued in her interview.

“That is, she (the student) had only 8% of her dinners with her parents left. And that's impactful because what it does is it leads her to A, make the time. No matter how busy she feels, that with that recognition, she is going to show up for the Sunday night dinner. But even beyond that, at the dinners, it changes how she engages in that time. What she used to view as nagging comments, she would just let roll off her shoulders, and instead she redirected the conversation to learn about her parents, recognizing that their time together is limited and more consequently is really precious. And so wanting to make the most of it.”

Rather than feeling depressed about the limit of time, I want to make the most of the time I’ve been given. While it is important to “number our days” as the psalmist tells us, I think it is more important to not worry about that. Rather, to enjoy each given day, for as we know, no one really knows when our life will be over.

How do we keep the time tension in balance? To feel busy enough that we are satisfied with our activities, relationships and time spent but not feeling anxious, guilty or frenetic? I have been thinking more and more about the ancient Hebrew writers and the book of Ecclesiastes- to every thing there is a season. There are seasons in our lives that may be very busy and times when we do not have all the family responsibilities. It is in realizing the big picture on our lives, that there is time for different things to happen- it does not all have to be done right now.

I also think that steeping ourselves in gratitude- being grateful for whatever the day brings, helps us to be focused on what that day brings. To be intentionally aware-whether we are thoroughly aware of our rushed days or focusing in on the days of waiting.

I recently read a book about a woman who intentionally and regularly practices silence and solitude. (I mentioned it in the last blog post.) She takes 2 days a month when she is silent for 24 hours. While that may not be my thing- [yikes I, who once had a teacher throw an eraser at me for chatting in class- in all fairness I was helping another student out, cannot imagine being silent!] I was intrigued by her observation that when she removed herself from the societal norms of speaking, background noise and clatter, she was able to observe and be more present in her situation: she found that she was relishing each activity, even simple tasks like making her morning oatmeal.

We need time in our lives to pause and ponder. To provide a space for wonder in this world. I think that is one of the reasons why God created us for Sabbath- to put the regular break and pause into our busy lives. The sabbath was made for man (Mark 2:27) as Jesus reminds us. When we pause and ponder, we create natural stop gaps in the frenetic thinking: time to wonder if the activities/energies that will be spent in the upcoming weeks really satisfy the purpose of my being?

I am still trying to learn how to make the best use of my days, but in reading what researchers say, I imagine that it comes to a bunch of mind set changes:

Choosing the best for our days: the activities that give us purpose.
Balancing things that care for ourselves and others. Loving our neighbors as we love ourselves.
Practicing gratitude in all that we do. When are grateful- even in our rushed days, we take on a more outward-looking perspective of life. Gratitude creates a natural pause in the frenetic.
Wondering why we are doing the activities that we do. To ensure that we do activities that we truly enjoy. It might not be all the time, but that there is some activity that brings joy. Of course, some things just have to be done- there is no navel gazing or joy in Mudville in having to routinely clean house, or working in a mindless job that is necessary to pay the mortgage, health bills, etc. But we perhaps we can find some type of joy in whatever the activity?

What about you? How are you with time? Do you manage your time like there is a bank for it? Hoping to deposit for any lost time?

If there were a time bank, there would be limited deposits for as the author Christopher Rice says, “Every day is a bank account, and time is our currency. No one is rich, no one is poor, we’ve got 24 hours each.”