My grandmother used to say about my grandfather, "I married him because he had his feet on the ground. Little did I know that they were stuck in the mud."

Do you feel stuck? Unable to move from your location? Literally or figuratively? Does it cause you to feel a sense of security or an envelopment of claustrophobia?

This year following my mom's death I have felt stuck. Stuck in a situation of caring for my father that I didn't ask to be in, didn't want to be in but one in which I just find myself.

That's the thing about being stuck. Many times we find ourselves trapped or grounded and it was not due to anything that we may or may not have done. It just happened. For myself I can get quite worked up about it. It's unfair, what did I do to deserve this, why now when I seemed to be going down a different path with my life choices? All these types of questions can go through my mind. Bottom line, it doesn't matter what I think, say or do, the reality is the same: I have certain responsibilities that I need to do.

It has taken me a while to not feel so stuck. I don't know if I am just resigned to the fact or if I have come to some emotional break through. It does make me wonder, what changed? Certainly the situation is the same even a little worse. I have to put some hopes and dreams on hold (again) for a little longer. I am not going to fight the way I feel. Just accept it.

According to Psychology Today when one feels stuck it is important to remember acceptance. Those who accept things that they cannot change have a better outcome. They are not so emotionally restricted and in a strange twist are more open to things eventually changing.

There is the story I heard of someone hiking New Hampshire's Franconia Notch State Park. A staff member pointed out a small path off to the side. It consisted of a few boulders wedged together, leaving a small covered opening to squeeze through. When he mentioned that a number of people have gotten stuck in there, he was asked how he gets them out. He chuckled and said, "Well, we can't move the rocks." Then he explained that he just waits. After about fifteen minutes of struggling, they give up... their bodies relax and they can slip right through.

Lately I am learning to accept the place I find myself. In a sense when I give up the struggle, I can move on because I am choosing to let things be. When I am not questioning and complaining, I find that I can see my situation in a different light. I can reflect on some of the positive and learn to let the negative go. I can then have the feeling of being unstuck.

What about you? Have you learned ways to become "unstuck"? If so, what are they?

Top 3? Bottom 3? A question I heard from the actor Jamie Lee Curtis. The rationale is that everyone has three best things- whether they are physical features, personality traits, resources, etc. and everyone has three worst things- things about which they are not too happy. The idea is to name them, embrace them and then move on.

Interesting concept. I think in Ms. Curtis' case as she described it on a talk show, this appears to be more about physical features than not. I like to think that there is so much more to a person than that. In addition, I don't think we should just settle in naming the bottom three.

Of course, certain things cannot be changed and we just have to learn to live with it or without it. However, there are things that if we name as a bottom, we can work on improving.

I like to think that the naming of either top or bottom is the beginning of a life of improvement.

The top items are to remind us that we are not so bad. We all have some gift or positive item. We all are blessed in some way. Some days we might not feel that blessing, but if we look with open eyes we will find it. In noting our blessings, it should give us confidence and the assurance that our life has purpose and meaning. There is a reason for our blessing. Many times it is to share with others our good fortune. In the area of good physical features it should manifest itself as a confidence and self-assurance so that we can can "disappear", not think about ourselves and whether we look good enough, and concentrate on the people around us.

The bottom items are to remind us to remain humble. Everyone has something of which he/she is not particularly proud. And that is okay. We all have positive and negative traits. If we keep it in perspective and not dwell on it, that item, personality trait or physical feature is what keeps us balanced. It also keeps us compassionate when we see others in the same boat. We then have the opportunity to provide hope for a change or acceptance of things as they are.

I am still thinking of my Top 3 and Bottom 3. What I do find is that once I get going I can fill up a page of the Bottom 3. I think sticking to just three items is better than letting it all get on the page. Who needs that kind of self-flagellation? Three items seem to be a better balance. I also find that when I am having "one of those days", the top three help me shake off the bottom blues (or the mean reds per Holly Golightly).

What about you? Have you ever thought of your Top 3, Bottom 3? Are there things on that list you would want to change? Can you change them? Do you need to learn acceptance? Do you need to balance the top and bottom? Is there someone in your life you can help with his/her Top 3, Bottom 3? Someone who might need a little encouragement or acceptance?