Trust

How are you in the waiting game? Having to wait for something is in some ways about delayed gratification, something I wonder if I am lacking? When I was a kid, my neighborhood playmate Kathy and I would receive cookies from her mom which we would share equally. It was always a game as to who could make her cookies last. Kathy always won. I would be so frustrated that I never won. What was wrong with me? Only later did I realize that she would hide her last cookie.

Waiting always makes me think of the marshmallow study done over 50 years ago by psychologist Walter Mischel. While the findings and conclusions have been reassessed over the years, I still find the videos of the children and their antics/strategies to not eat the marshmallow before the allotted time and thus, receive an additional one in the end, adorable. When I get frustrated waiting, this makes me laugh: Click here to watch.

How I feel most days as I wait for the remodeling to finish…

Once again, we have had a delay in our remodeling project. I must say, I am really beginning to lose patience over the delays. In all fairness, most of the delays are really out of anyone’s control. Yet it seems, once the wheels fall off the wagon, the whole thing falls apart: one error can cause a whole litany of other problems to happen. I get it. Sometimes that is just the way things occur. I remember when working with clients, inevitably there would be one client, that if one thing went wrong with the care and/or project, then sure enough, multiple things would also be off.

Yet, I also recognize that because of the issues and delays, the final outcomes have been better than if things went according to the original plan. For instance, the snafu with the cabinets caused a reassessment of the type of cabinet for the stove, which now is even a better arrangement and will provide more storage.

But, like the Psalmist I groan, “How long, O Lord…?”

I keep muttering to myself, “trust in God, trust in the process and trust the workmen.” At times I have been discouraged about the whole shebang- moving, remodeling, and the all encompassing energy that both things take. I start to doubt God and myself regarding the call to move.

Then I get an affirmation from the place where we live- the beauty of the surroundings or the friendliness of the neighbors. Reminders from God that we are exactly where He wants us to be at this time. I begin to remember God’s faithfulness in the past. Not just to me and my family but to my spiritual family and friends as well as the stories of the faithful in the Bible.

I have been reading about Joshua and Caleb- the only two spies who, after coming back from the reconnaissance in the Promised Land, were encouraged that through God, the Hebrews could overtake the area. All the other spies incited the people to reject what God promised and not trust that God would do what He said. Because of that, God decided that the whole generation would not enter the land. The Hebrew people would have to wait for the next generation to receive the Promised Land. Only Joshua and Caleb would be allowed to enter with the new generation because of their trust in God.

Only recently did it dawn on me, Joshua and Caleb had to wait forty years before the Promise came to fruition for them. They didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, they were doing everything right and yet they still had to wait. Even after entering the Promised Land it took some effort and time before things settled down and there was a period of peace.

What about you? Have you ever had to wait for some dream or plan to come to fruition? How did you handle the waiting time? Are you more like the marshmallow children, sneaking in a bite or two or more like the hound- waiting patiently for something to occur?

Interestingly that this week’s chapter in my Bible Study book was all about waiting. (Tish Harrison Warren, Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life) The author reminds us that waiting is active and purposeful like a fallow field. Even when a dirt field appears to be dormant, there are microorganisms, fungi, insects, wind and sun all readying the soil for planting.

When I am impatient, I need to remember: my past and God’s goodness as well as His goodness to others. It gives me hope and helps me to be patient and trust God.

Tertullian, an early (160 A.D.) Christian author from Carthage, states, “The singular mark of patience is not endurance or fortitude but hope. To be impatient…is to live without hope. Patience is grounded in the Resurrection. It is life oriended toward a future that is God’s doing, and its sign is longing, not so much to be released from the ills of the present, but in anticipation of the good to come.” (Robert Louis Wilken, The Spirit of Early Christian Thought: Seeking the Face of God.)

May we all look forward to the good that is to come.

Grown Up Christmas List

What is on your Christmas List?  Did you ever write one when you were little?  Do you still make them out? Or have you given up the practice? 

I guess I wrote a Christmas list when I was little. With my love of lists I am sure that I must've. Funny that I can't remember any specific one.  

I also cannot remember pleading and cajoling my parents for a specific toy or gift.  I am sure that I did hound them. My parents probably had the annual holiday headache over hearing me talk about an item and in trying to acquire said item.  Yet I cannot remember ever getting the "popular" sold out toy.  I don't think that phenomenon was around when I was little.  (I think that started with the Cabbage Patch Kids which was part of my nieces and nephews younger years.)

It just seems that the process of naming what we want and writing it down and the anticipation of receiving the gift almost seems greater than the actual item.  We can have all those moments of pleasure thinking about the gift. It is the joy of delayed gratification. 

Yet it seems that once the gift is given and received, we are not as interested in it anymore.  Or at least it loses its charm and appeal.  It is as if all our energy was spent on imaging the gift and now that the gift has arrived, we are spent- tired of the item before it has been used.  In many cases, we cannot even remember what the fuss was all about.

I remember one year my son had a remote control motorcycle on his Christmas list. Or my father-in-law had heard some of his golf buddies talking about a remote control motorcycle that they were getting their grandchildren.  Either way, my father-in-law moved heaven and earth (or at least all the Toys R Us stores in our metropolitan area) to purchase it.  Our son enjoyed it very much.  For the first couple of days.  But after awhile, the difficult-to-acquire toy found its way to the bottom of the toy cabinet. 

I am wondering about that experience as I ponder the next chapter in my life.  I have thought for a long time the personal and career items I want to accomplish and achieve. I even have a list of material possessions that I would want: type of home, contents of home, location of said home, type of car, etc.  But even those lists are like the fantastical lists that our childish selves write to Santa: totally unrealistic and impractical.

What do I really want?

I find that I have a hard time writing down what I want.  Oh sure, I have those lists of my ideal items but what if that list was definitive?  And that which was written on my list was what I would receive. No more. No less.  Would I truly be content and happy with it?   Would it be overwhelming or not enough?  Would I be listing the right things for the current me as well as the future me?  Would I grow weary with my requests even before I received them?  If it all came to me at once, would I miss the excitement of the next year or stage of my life? 

I guess I have come to the conclusion that, while I have lists of accomplishments and goals, my ultimate list would be deferred to the One who knows me better than myself: the One who created me and who loves me.  Not that I am absolving myself of any responsibility of living my life.  I just have come to the conclusion that I will trust God in directing my steps for my future plans.  Certainly I have my part to do: to be as educated, healthy, curious, well rounded, and developed in my specific gifts and talents.  But for choosing the best course of action, I choose to let "Thy Will Be done." 

I think I will let my Christmas List be fulfilled by God and what He has in store for me.

What about you?   

Some Time Next Year

The crepe myrtle we purchased.  These lower limbs need to be pruned next spring.

The other day we purchased a crepe myrtle tree to replace a dying/almost dead dogwood. I don't know too much about crepe myrtle just that I like the looks of the tree especially with its colorful blossoms, smooth bark and fringe canopy of branches.  What I didn't know was that the tree in its natural state has many lower branches causing it to look more like a bush. It is only in pruning and training those branches will the tree look like the smooth trunk crepe myrtles I see around town. 

When we spoke with the nursery owner about the tree's care, he suggested waiting until next spring to do any of the pruning of the lower branches. Once we do that, then the lower portion of the tree's trunk will remain smooth. Also he suggested that we wait another year before we "topped" the tree (cutting back the top branches so that it remains at a certain height). 

It got me thinking...  

How many times do I want to get things done and in the process rush and not do them well? Or in my impatience I don't take the time to learn and understand the significance of what I am doing?

The crepe myrtle shape we want- smooth lower trunk with fringe canopy. 

Sometimes I have to wait until what I want to accomplish can be done.  Sometimes I have to let things be, before they can be improved.  Sometimes I need to uncover more information before I make any decisions. Changing things too early or too often can be detrimental.  In the case of the crepe myrtle, if I remove the lower branches now, I can stress the tree as it prepares for winter.  If I hadn't asked the nursery owner about the tree's care, I could have done irreparable damage. 

What about you?  Have you ever had to wait a while before you could accomplish something?  Did you ever have to research and learn something before your could even begin? How did that go?  What was your strategy in waiting?