Now that we are ensconced at our new home, I’ve been wrestling with empty cardboard moving boxes. I’ll empty a couple of boxes a day, but it seems as if the boxes multiply. Once I get the empty ones under control, I’ll look at the broken down discarded boxes ready to be recycled and think, “Oh good. I’m making progress.” Then I return to where we have our stacked full boxes and feel an incredible let-down since there are seemingly just as many filled boxes as before.

Breaking down the boxes so that they can be recycled takes some time. The wardrobe boxes and some of the dish/plate ones are quite thick cardboard and difficult to fold. In time, if they get wet they are a little easier to manage but there is no way I can fold into a compact bundle. They are just too thick.

As I am wrestling to try and fold the cardboard, it makes me think of Ecclesiastes 4: 12, “though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” The multi-layers of cardboard are difficult to maneuver and manipulate.

I remember some type of kids’ science experiment about taking a pencil in hand. You can break one pencil in half. It is not too difficult. But if you have a bundle of pencils and tried to break that bundle in one go it is very difficult. Either the bundle needs to be separated into single sticks or you need something more powerful like a saw.

It makes me think of community. A community that is bound together is difficult to defeat. I am amazed at the sheer courage, resilience and hutzpah of the Ukrainians. They are bound together in a common cause of sovereignty.

I think of the communities formed through the openness and honesty of addiction support groups. The bonds among those in attendance are strong.

We need people around us to keep us together: to support one another when there are situations or problems that can seem to break us, to encourage us when we are despondent, to celebrate with us when we are euphoric and to hold us accountable to a higher standard as we journey along in life. Contrary to some beliefs, we do become better people when we live in community. We are healthier and happier.

Studies have concluded that we can live longer (our mortality rate can be cut in half), can double our chance of recovery from depression and even might help us fight the common cold (4.2 times less likely to succumb) when we have a network of friends. Retired evolutionary psychologist, Dr. Dunbar of Oxford University discovered that the biggest predictor of a primate’s brain size was the magnitude of its social interaction.

While I may lean more to the introverted side, I do recognize my need for friendship and community. The dear ladies of my Tuesday night Bible study encourage me each week. Just their presence encourages me to be a better person. I complete my study because I don’t want to let them down. I hear how they live their lives and learn how to adapt some of their principles, strategies and actions to similar situations that I may face. By the sharing of their experiences, I am blessed.

When I think of them, I think of the accountability created by seeing them. Not so much as a scare tactic or negative peer pressure, but more of accountability partners: we are called to encourage one another to become more and more like Christ- to improve the way we live and respond on this life journey.

In the age of “unfriending” it is easy to dismiss a friend because of a difference of opinion. But when we hang on together, even through disagreements, we can be rewarded with longevity in our friendships. How blessed are we when we have life-long friends- people who have seen us “when”, who don’t judge (since we have seen them “when”) and still love us.

What about you? Are you in community? Are they your friends? Do you have a multi-strand bundle of folks who keep you whole?

I think that the lessons learned in being a friend can help society in learning to be a community. For what is a community but a collection of people brought together- whether that is from ideology, geography, ethnicity, interests, beliefs. As all psychology has discovered, our relationships begin at home and venture out like ripples in a pond. I think when we develop friendships and stick with them, we learn that others can enrich our lives. So too, when we reach out beyond the individual friendships and develop bonds with those in our community our lives are enriched.