Where were you when the storming of the Capitol took place? Heard about George Floyd? 9/11 attacks? Persian Gulf war began? Challenger disaster? Nixon resigned? Reagan, MLK, RFK, JFK shot? Or any other seared-in-your-memory events?

Last week the newscasters and journalists kept using the expression, “A week for the history books.”

That expression made me think about events that people can recall exactly where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. The events might be national or global but they could also be familiar.

What were the circumstances for your individual stories? When you received the phone call about…? Heard about a family or friend event? I will always remember exactly where I was, how the sky looked and the feeling in my chest when I received the phone call that my mother had died.

Stressful information can lock specifics into our brains.

According to Psychology Today, “The hippocampus, the brain region responsible for forming new memories, is particularly sensitive to cortisol. When released after an emotionally charged experience, cortisol can sear memories into our brain; it tells our brain the message was important, something that moved us enough to get excited, like the vivid recall of your whereabouts when you first heard about the September 11 tragedy.”

Hopefully we do not have high cortisol and emotionally charged experiences on a daily basis. We may be going through seasons like that, but I suspect that for most of our lives we live in “quiet desperation” as Thoreau stated. Ordinary hours which turn into days which turn into months which turn into ordinary years. Sometimes it is hard to recall exact situations or experiences.

It is in the ordinary details of life that I want to remember. I want to remember the shy, corner raised, slight smile of our son’s when he is sharing a dry witty comment, or the mirrored reaction on my husband’s and other son’s face when they share the same, tickled-a-rib anecdote.

Other days, not so much. On those days I am hoping to just move through and onto something else. Ironically it is the stressful experiences which are the ones I want to slide through. Yet, it appears that they are more of the ones that are seared into my memory and impact my behavior.

I think of those stressed induced ones that have shaped our future: no more greeting a loved one as soon as she steps off the tarmac, no more greeting others with a handshake or hug, no more freely walking into government or public buildings without the purse/bag/metal detector search.

One thing that last week has brought to the forefront- anything is possible and can happen in our world. After 2020 we should realize that we should never take any thing, any time, any person for granted- good or otherwise.

But, how should we live our lives? We cannot give up and hide. We cannot remain isolated (Covid-wise, more emotionally than physically) in the hopes that these high cortisol experiences won’t affect us. Stress is a given in our lives- both “good”- eustress and “bad”- distress. We cannot avoid stress. Just like we cannot avoid being in community and connecting to one another.

In Deuteronomy 30: 19, the Hebrew ancient writes, “I call heaven and earth to witness you today: I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse — therefore choose life!” According to Rabbi Kukla, “This phrase is a classic example of a “merism,” a figure of speech that is used frequently in the Bible, where two parts or elements are used to denote the whole.” Not necessarily that it is an either/or but rather every choice we make between birth and death matters. It doesn’t matter if the choices are large or small. Every choice between birth and death impacts the life between birth and death. Same thing with stress- not necessarily an either/or to avoid one or the other but to deal with the stress as it comes.

Martin Luther King, Jr said, “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny.” We are caught up with each other- whether it is through our mundane existence and our individual choices or our cortisol producing, global historical moments.

In the 2013 American Journal of Public Health article, “Giving to Others and Association Between Stress and Mortality”, the researchers concluded, “In effect, this finding suggests that, among individuals who do not help others, exposure to a stressful life event is associated with 30% increased mortality risk.*

Basically, because stress happens to all of us, if we think that we can go it alone and just hide from life we are at an increased risk of dying early. Our destiny is tied up with one another and with helping one another.

Our destiny is also tied up with stressors and reactions to stressors. Some things we will remember. Some things we will not. There are many other discussions we can have about the stressors in our lives, but for today, in this historical week, it seems as if we need to remember that we are ALL in this together. We NEED each other and we need to HELP one another.

What about you? What are some historical moments that you recall? Were they stress-producing for you? What did you do about it?

When stressful times occur, it is best to remember that ALL NEED HELP and that our posture in handling the stress, is to see where we can help. Help can come in many forms: listening, praying, providing a meal, having a civil discussion with someone who has a different (political, social or religious) point of view, wearing a mask, smiling and saying hello to a stranger. It may be on a large scale or just in the acknowledgement that we are in this historical moment together.

And wouldn’t it be a week for the history books if we all got along because we all were helping each other and had forgotten about our own personal stressors (read, agendas). That would certainly be a memory seared into our collective brains.

*https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3780662/