Words and Actions

Do what you say. Say what you mean. Mean what you do.

Shortly after our one son started working in his first “real” job post college he called up, “Why don’t people do their jobs?” he asked.

“Welcome to the adult world,” we replied.

Lately I have just about had it with the “adult world” of business- the adults who do not do their jobs-broken promises, zippo customer service, no accountability or follow through. It is a wonder if anyone wants to make a living much less make any money.

It just gets my goat when a business, to whom I plan on paying money, fails to arrange the details of said business (either a good or service) and appear that they do not even care about making money. For example, I am still waiting a call back from a local appliance store in response to my inquiry of a dryer that I am ready to purchase. In essence, give them money. I left a message for the sales department- over four weeks ago. I know that appliances are hard to get but just a phone call back with an explanation would be businesslike.

In contrast, at another local appliance store in response to an inquiry about their dryer, I was told that I would receive a call back in about ten minutes. And I did. I have also been apprised of the status of the appliance throughout the purchase process.

When I have good customer service, I am truly AMAZED. I am so excited that I am ready to give the salesperson a hug, an incredible tip, and tell the boss to give them a raise. But then I think, “Isn’t that the point of a business transaction? I give them money in exchange for a good or service? To answer the phone, call back when one says one will, find out the details for the logistics of the good or service? Isn’t that how business is done?

I know that I am not alone in my frustration. But where does it derive? I really don’t think it is because we, as a society, are so incredibly lazy and do not want to work. I hope not.

But we have probably witnessed the lack of accountability and follow through even outside of business, in our social networks, community engagements, volunteer efforts or family. I have heard many people say that having the instant communication of texting negates having to make definitive plans. It is easy to cancel plans as other more “interesting” are offered last minute. “That’s just how it is nowadays..” is the refrain.

Then again, I know folks who are like a badger with their responsibilities. Even upon the demise of personal health, they will not relinquish a commitment. Admirable sure, but is that healthy?

Or you hear those who sound like the elaborate proclamations or promises in film and books. “As God is my witness… I’ll never be hungry again.” (Scarlett O’Hara) It makes good drama but not real life.

So, what are we to do? How are we to navigate our words and actions? Do we commit to the point of death or never commit to anything?

As much I had drilled into me and I in turn, drilled into our boys about responsibility and commitments, admittedly, if I say I will do something, there is more of a chance that I won’t do it. I don’t know why it is but I have noticed that if I pre-announce an intention, it most likely won’t happen. Or at least not in the timeframe I stated. It is better for me to say nothing, carry on with the obligation and then afterwards, share what I did.

I think Jesus said it best. Jesus said, “Let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay”. [Matthew 5:37] There is a simplicity with the yes or no statements. He also reminds me that being accountable and responsible with my words and actions starts out simply. It is through small actions and promises kept that build a foundation of integrity. When larger, more involved vows and oaths are required, we are able because we have “muscle memory” of being honest and principled.

He wasn’t saying that one shouldn’t take an oath. Rather, to not make such an elaborate one that contains loopholes and lacks sincerity. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. Have clarity in your communication. Follow through with what is said. Hold yourself and others accountable.

What about you? Have you had enough of the “adult world” and its business? How are you with clarity of speech? With following through? With accountability? Are there things you said you would do? Have you done it? Are there commitments that you keep doing when it really isn’t necessary, helpful or even healthy? What sense of obligation do you have? Because of accountability or sentimentality?

One thing that I know I sometimes forget when I read about Jesus’ words and sayings- He doesn’t expect us to live those words in a vacuum. We are not alone in how we are to respond to them. We have the Holy Spirit to guide us and help us in our commitments and oaths. We have the Holy Spirit even, and especially, in our business practices.

Unfortunately, in today's world we have to be reminded that the power of an oath derives from the fact that in it we ask God to bear witness to the promises we make with the implicit expectation that He will hold us accountable for the manner in which we honor them. - Author: James L. Buckley

What is Your Introduction?

Recently I was attending a lecture where the introduction to the speaker was phenomenal. The list went on and on.  He had accomplished much and was involved with much. The things that he had done were recognized through a litany of organizations or multiple degrees.  Immediately I thought, "Gosh, if they introduced me it would be quite short." 

It seems as if we are impressed with those long litanies. But I also thought of those people who might not have the fancy degrees or the  involvement with the "right" organizations.  What about those whose degree is through the school of hard knocks or who are the unsung heroes of their families?  Those who respond to a multitude of simultaneous crises with superhuman endurance and humility.   How do you introduce someone who is volunteer extraordinaire but with many organizations? Someone who works a little with everyone who asks, yet never completes the thousands of hours in one position for a grand citizen award.   How do you introduce someone who is practical, has great common sense, looks out for other's best interest or who is the best listener? 

How do you introduce all the truly extra-ordinary, ordinary people?

It made me think of my life and accomplishments or lack thereof.  Do I just need to market myself better? Or do I need to just accept that in the world's eyes I have not done anything special or at least anything that can be quantified or labelled? 

How do I treat others? Do I expect them to be introduced with a series of recognizable accomplishments?   Does my reaction and treatment of others depend on how they fit into a specific category?  Am I impressed with awards and accomplishments? 

Certainly it is good to be recognized for a job well done. We all crave that. And it is good to strive and attain something whether that is a degree, reward or a recognized accomplishment. 

But I realize that I shouldn't be overly awed by those things either.  Character and integrity of the person matters more. As much as God wants us to live in accordance with His rules and guidance for our lives, it is our hearts and our character that matter the most to Him. We should view ourselves and others in that light as well.  

Underlying the question, how would you be introduced, the question becomes, how is your character?  Would others say that you are a true friend, a confidant, of high integrity, reliable and trustworthy?  

Do you accept yourself for what you have done and not done?  If not, do you have time to “do something”?  Are there degrees or accomplishments that you want to do?  What is holding you back? 

How do you treat others?  Does an "impressive" introduction awe you?  Or do you wait and see how the person acts?  What characteristics would you want yourself and others to portray to be extraordinary ordinary folks? 

What is your introduction?