Do you feel stuck or trapped? In a situation that has no end? Or a relationship that is going no where? Or in a predicament that has no way out? Do you feel that you are in a pit?

I think that is a common feeling. In my little anecdotal life, I have heard friends and family members say that they feel that they are in a tangled knot that only seems to get tighter which squeezes any hope out of their lives. Being a person of faith doesn’t necessarily mean that we have a knot-free life nor that we can always untangle these knots ourselves, but faith can give us perspective- a hold-on for just one more day, one more hour, one more minute and trusting that in God’s timing, the knot will loosen.

I remember hearing author Louise Penny speak about her life. Early in her life, she was a successful journalist for Canadian Broadcasting Corporation but was, for whatever her reasons, a functioning alcoholic. She became quite depressed and thought her life was at an end- a tangled knot with no way out. As she says, she contemplated taking her life and if she had had access to a gun, she most probably would. But she stuck it out and in a little while, she met her husband and stopped drinking. Her point in telling others of her struggle is to encourage them to just hang on and hang in there. Not that she dismisses a person’s feeling of despair because it was quite real for her but that she hopes her story would encourage others that if she could hang on and find hope to loosen the grip of despair, so can others. There is hope.

I do not know her faith background but I do know mine. I have been in difficult situations that seemed never to change nor end, but through God’s grace and mercy, I was able to stick through and see that things did change. There is hope. God was right there with me. He cared about the things I cared about and worried about. He is faithful in His promises.

Not that it is easy. When the grip of despair tightens our thoughts, it is very hard to shake it loose. I know that I can feel abandoned and at times a petulant child, demanding. “Why is this happening to me? Don’t you care, God?” I become stubborn in listening or thinking of any other suggestions to getting out of the predicament and want to fold my arms in defiance of any help, instead preferring to remain where I am.

Many years ago our women’s Bible study read one of Beth Moore’s studies: Get Out of that Pit. She talked about the many ways we get into a pit, the way we can get out of it and the life that can be lived post pit. I was always struck by the many different ways we can get into a pit: sometimes it is due to others (pushed in), sometimes it can be inadvertently (slide in) or sometimes it is our own choices (jump in). She reminds us that only God can be our deliverer from the pit; anyone or anything else will lead us back to the same or another pit. She explains that there are three steps out of the pit: cry out, confess, consent. To cry out reminds me of author Anne Lamott saying that the only words/prayers we need to say are help, thanks, and wow. Crying out is our prayer for help. Naming and recognizing we need help is the first step. Confessing clears the way for God to work in our lives. Confession is more than just saying our sins- it’s about sharing with God all our thoughts- what’s on our mind- any bitterness, anger, secrets, hurts. Lastly, Moore says we get out of the pit when we consent to God’s will for our life. “Beloved, God’s will is for you to get out of that pit. If you will consent to the process, waiting upon God as He begins shifting, shoving, and rearranging things for your release, you can go ahead and start getting excited, because it will happen. Just as God promises in His Word.”

Like so much that is broken in our world, I believe that it is only through God that reconciliation and restoration can occur. It is only through God that the knot can be loosened. Yet I also believe that God gave us (humankind) minds to use and to help one another. Like the old joke of the person waiting for God to rescue him as he was stranded on his rooftop during a flood and refusing help from the various persons sent to aide him. Eventually he drowned and on entering the pearly gates, the gentleman complained to God that he wasn’t rescued, to which God says, “But I sent you a raft, boat and plane.”

Here are some thoughts for getting unstuck:

Remember. When we are feeling stuck we need to remember. Our Hebrew ancestors were always called to remember- especially remembering the Exodus out of Egypt. Talk about being stuck- they were slaves, in forced labor, living with increasingly harsh conditions, fear of losing their children to crazy leadership decrees, with no prospect of change in the situation. Yet, change happened in God’s timing. Remember God’s promises and deliverance, not only as witnessed in others but in one’s own life.
Pray scripture. Say Bible verses as your affirmations/prayers. Many times we do not have the words- we do not know how to begin getting unstuck. Let the supernatural power of God’s words speak into your life. Not sure where to begin- try the Psalms.
Let go. List all the reasons why you stay in the situation- honestly grapple with your feelings. Do you like being in the pit? Have you been there so long, it is now your identity? Are there things in the past that are holding you there? Actions/situations that you blame yourself, or others? Do you need to forgive yourself? Others? Once the reasons are noted, let them go.
Life beyond the pit. List all the reasons why you want to get out of a situation. What would being out of the pit, look like? If you approached your situation with a different attitude, what would that look like?
Practice Self-care. Many times when we are in a difficult predicament, we do not care for ourselves. Why bother we may ask? I am not worth it, we say. It is in those times that we need to tend to ourselves: try to get sleep, eat healthy, get some physical exercise, help another person.
More info. Do you need more information or help in “pulling the knot” and getting out of this pit? Do you need to speak to a counselor? Take time to really talk with a trusted friend?
Make a small change. A veterinarian cousin once said that on the days he had surgery, he liked to “warm up” with some neutering or spaying. Small surgeries that got his fingers nimble for any larger ones during the day. Sometimes all it takes to get unstuck and moving is to do one little thing. That little change becomes like the needle that helps loosen the knot.

When one is in a pit, one needs to look up- metaphorically and physically. Sometimes, just getting outside, being in nature, seeing the wonder all around us, both on the earth and in the sky, can help keep our lives in perspective. It can be the beginning of the process of getting out of the pit.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:1-3.