Everything I learned in Preschool…

This past week I met a woman who is a preschool teacher at a Montessori school. I used to travel by a Montessori school and always wondered about it. I was curious to know what is their philosophy in teaching. She explained that Montessori is a “method of education based on self-directed activity, hands-on learning and cooperative play.” The school focuses on the individual child and their developmental needs. The curriculum and teaching is established with the whole child in mind- body, mind and the senses. They focus on respect and civility: learning to respect yourself- cleaning up after yourself; respect others- saying “please” and thank-you”; sharing with others; being civil; caring for the mutual environment. The school fosters independence with guidelines and age appropriate decisions. The learning is experiential and encourages the children to discover the answers themselves- to appropriately allow them to experience consequences in the learning process.

On the Montessori website they reference a study that was published in the Frontiers of Psychology. (Of course the study is favorable to a Montessori education.) The study looked at the those who attended a Montessori school or conventional school (ages 18-81) and had them complete a well-being survey. They found strong evidence of elevated psychological well-being among adults who attended Montessori schools as children. In some ways, I am not surprised. Whether one agrees to the Montessori curriculum or not, the idea of respecting others, yourself, your environment, feeling a sense of control in one’s learning and becoming independent through responsibility makes sense. All those ideals help foster healthy and well-adjusted adults.

Makes me wonder what else I could learn…

One of the lessons that they employ is for a student to engage in a cycle of uninterrupted work periods: choose an activity; engage in that activity; clean up from that activity and then select a new task.

There are many days when I need to remember that lesson. I find, especially when I have a lot of tasks to do in a specific (namely short) amount of time, that I am frantically working from one to another and not doing a good job in any one of the activities. Plus, I seem to leave a wake of disruption and sometimes physical debris behind me. This always happens to me during the spring. I have so many tasks I want/need to complete before things get too warm: from a total clean through of the house- top to bottom and all in between- to a cleaning/working of the outdoor gardens and deck which has been “put away” for the winter. I find that I’ll start working in one area. I’ll notice something else and that pulls me to that activity and before I know it, I have begun four different tasks. This year, perhaps I can employ the Montessori method.

What about you? What lessons do you remember from school? What do you wish you had learned? What about kindergarten?

I think of the little tykes in a Montessori school. If only we behaved as they do- saying “Please, Thank-you, Good morning, How are you?”and showing respect to one another? What if we put back the things we used? What if we learned how to share?

I think of the classic book by Robert Fulghum, “All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”. He wrote it in 1986 but what he says still rings true. “…no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”

Manners and Respect

The other day I was thinking about respect.  

It seems to me that all of us cry out like Aretha Franklin, "R.E.S.P.E.C.T"  We want and try to demand respect from others. How do you cultivate it?  How do you demonstrate it? 

Nothing is worse than to feel that you have been blown off by someone who completely dismisses your ideas, your work, or even you.  Regardless of one's opinions, values or beliefs, we still crave respect from all,  even from those who don't espouse our opinions, values or beliefs.  

I was also thinking about people who feel they are entitled to anything as long as it is more, better or greater than to what you may be entitled. Not that they are completely rude like Mr. Bean but the people who think that they are entitled to get ahead of you- merging into single construction lane on the highway, queuing up at the grocery store, seeing the doctor, even standing in line at an entertainment venue. They are the people who feel that they are entitled to having others jump through hoops for them and that they are entitled to say whatever comes to mind without having to worry about any consequence. Their actions demonstrate lack of respect for those around them.

I think both respect and the entitlement mindset should be governed by manners. 

Not in the seemingly senseless white glove, pinky in the air,  tea sipping manners of people with way too much time on their hands.  

Manners in the true sense of why we have them:  to think of others before we think of ourselves, to be gracious and kind, to treat others with respect and not to feel entitled over someone else, to provide human kind with a raised bar and standard so that we are elevated over animals. 

In treating someone kindly and with manners we say more about our character than anything else. It shows self-control by putting others first or holding our tongues. It shows kindness through thoughtfulness. It shows graciousness, when we do not let on that things have not gone the way we planned.  

What about you?  Do you feel respected by those around you?  Why is that?  Are you surrounded by "entitled" people?  How do you treat them?  How do they treat you? How are your manners?  How can you show respect to someone today?  How can you brush up on your manners? 

Pollyanna that I am, I do believe that when we treat others well, when we expect more from them than they might feel capable of in the moment, then we will have a society that respects one another. 

Sock it to me Aretha!