Coming Home

I wrote this post before vacation but will publish it on the Monday we return.  I have tried to have things in order so that our "reentry" back to our norm will be relatively painless.

The best laid plans of mice and men.

This week that we return I have to hit the ground running: doctors' appointments for family, moving one family member and continuing the paper work for another's move in addition to trying to get back to my writing.  Looking ahead at my calendar and the two week delay of activities, I am wondering is the vacation worth it? 

Seems like I am not alone in thinking this way.  As Americans, we work hard but we have a hard time taking off.   According to Project:Time Off ( whose goal is to shift culture so that taking time off is understood as essential to personal well-being, professional success, business performance, and economic expansion.)  Americans wasted 685 million of unclaimed vacation days in 2015.  

Many people don't take their paid vacation because they don't want to appear dispensable to management.  The thinking is, if management can manage without me for a week or two, they might think that my job is redundant or irrelevant and consequently fire me.   Interestingly, the Project: Time Off coalition found that "employees who take 10 or fewer days of vacation time are less likely to have received a raise or bonus in the last three years than those who took 11 days or more."  It is the employee who uses his/her vacation that financially benefits.   

It is so important to get away- preferably physically, but also mentally and emotionally.  It is important to have time away and responsibilities lessen.  For some, vacation is few and far between but is necessary.  It is the sabbath of our working lives.  The other lesson from the Project: Time Off study is that one needs to plan for it.  If we don't plan, we most likely won't do it. "The single-most important step workers can take is to plan their time off in advance, as more than half (51%) of planners used all their earned vacation time compared to 39% of non-planners. Yet less than half (49%) of households set aside time to plan their vacation time each year. Further, planners reported greater happiness in every category measured, especially relationships with partners and children."

In order to make the vacation and its "reentry"  a little bit easier I am trying to get things in order before hand:  house cleaned, yard in a livable state, correspondences up to date, writing submissions done, desk in order.  It does make things a little crazy before we leave, but it is a push that makes the whole vacation more enjoyable for me.  I can relax because I know that things are "shored up" for the next couple of weeks and when I return it won't be too hectic (or so I hope).   

What about you?  Are you having a vacation this summer?  Will it be restful?  Are you looking forward to it or are you dreading the reentry? 

I have found that when I plan for vacation and for my return, it is more than just coming home.  It is a home coming filled with great memories, rest and rejuvenation. 

Summer Entertainment

What have you read during your summer?  What movies did you watch?  Did you go to any shows, plays or concerts? 

I did some reading over our vacation. Of course I brought way too many books for the time allotted. But what I did finish were interesting.  I also saw a couple of movies.  Unfortunately, we did not get to any live plays during our stay. Where we vacation there are a bunch of playhouses- catering to both the amateur and professional actor.  The venues are these wonderful and charming old theaters.  Very intimate.  In the past we have enjoyed patronizing them.  Alas, we just couldn't get to do everything this vacation.

My vacation reading list:

"The Greengage Summer" by Rumor Godden.  I have always wanted to read one of her books. I found this one at a thrift store.  It took me a little bit of time to get into it since the writing style is dated (book published in 1958).  It is a coming of age story of an impoverished English girl who spends the summer with her family in France. A situation occurs and the children are basically left unattended in a foreign land.  Their observations of the world in which they find themselves is interesting. It is a fun read with an insight into a by-gone world. 

"That's Not English" by Erin Moore.  A sociology-lite book regarding the differences between British English and American English.  Witty and entertaining but not too heavy.

"Rush Oh!" by Shirley Barrett. The fictional story of whaling in New South Wales during the 1910's as seen through the eyes of the whaler's daughter.  (The author based the main action on historical facts- the aboriginal method of using killer whales to help the whalers and the main whaler character)  Very funny in spots with a host of eccentric characters. An unusual and unpredictable story.  Some criticisms- was a little disappointed in the ending and the foreshadowing throughout the book was disrupting to the flow of the story. 

"Short Novels of Colette".  I have heard so much about the famous French author so I thought I should read some of her stories.  I was very disappointed and only read two of the short stories, "Cherie and The Last of Cherie".  I might have had difficulty since this is a book very much of its time.  The various stories were first published in the late 1920's, early 1930's.  I did not find any redeemable or likable characters in these two short stories.  I also had difficulty understanding the dialogue- who was speaking, to whom and about what?  Perhaps it was the translation and if I could/would read it in French would I then understand?  I might go back and try the rest of the short stories, but then again, life is too short and there are too many books to read that I want to read.  (I have found that when a literary book has a long and glowing introduction that needs to explain the book that is to follow, it is generally a dog of a story.)

Books I haven't gotten to yet:

"Between the World and Me" by Ta-Nehisi Coates.  My husband and son read this book while on vacation.  My turn next.  It is essentially a letter from the author to his son explaining his take of race in the world. 

"The Mother Tongue: English and How It Got That Way" by Bill Bryson.  My husband is reading it currently.  We always enjoy Bill Bryson's work.  Witty, informational and well written. 

"The Art of Grace" by Sarah L. Kaufman.   From the book jacket, " Humanity at its finest is merely what Sarah Kaufman is offering in the inspiring, uplifting book, and we could all us a bit more of that in our lives."  

The movies that we saw:

• "The Finest Hours"- I will blog about this movie and the following one in a later post. 
• "St. Vincent"- (See above comment)
• "Captain America: Civil War"- Latest installment in the Marvel franchise. As with all sequels, most of the movie is the perpetual set-up of the next movie. One could possibly have a post movie discussion regarding the role of freedom and authority yet it seems as if the writers put those ideas in the trailer in order to make this movie seem loftier than it is. It is just a fun film to see and hear Robert Downey Jr's sarcastic quips. 
• "The Guest"- Could have been so much better with a little more tweaking of the screenplay. Only thing good about the film- fun to see Dan Stevens (of Downtown Abbey's Matthew Crowley fame) in a totally different role and with an American accent. 

What about you?  What has been your summer entertainment?  Read or see anything that was amusing, life changing, entertaining, sad, touching? 

Re-Entry

How are you in coming back from vacations?  Ready to get back home? Anxious about what awaits you or what you will find?  Sad to leave the vacation environment? Ready for a vacation from the vacation? Rested, rejuvenated and ready for action?

I have experienced all those emotions after various vacations. Over the years I have found the best way to come back from a vacation is to plan for the re-entry. It might make the preparation for the vacation a little more hectic, but it is worth it.  Vacations are a natural break in our daily lives.  We can clearly distinguish "what we did before vacation" and "what we will do after vacation".  Coming back with a 're-entry" plan helps make the transition back to normal a little bit easier.  

I like to leave with the house clean and in order and to finish any projects on which I was working. Turns out I am not the only neurotic one.  In the last Real Simple magazine they asked readers what they do to help ease back into reality after vacation.  Here are some of the suggestions:

• End a vacation on a Friday or take an extra day off so that one has an extra day to do laundry, get groceries and plan for the upcoming work week.
• Either do laundry before one comes home or put the dirty laundry in a separate bag so that starting the laundry is easy.  (I generally do a load almost immediately on coming home, while I am putting away the other things from my luggage.)
• Set a vacation picture on your computer desktop.
• Have a prepared meal frozen, ready for when you come back. Ask a friend or neighbor to thaw the meal in the refrigerator the day before you are coming home.
• Have a "gift box" from vacation sent to you. During your vacation, collect local artwork, postcards and other vacation memorabilia and have it sent to you at home a day or so after you get back.
• Have a neighbor or friend stock your fridge with perishable essentials- milk, bread, fruit, eggs, etc. so that you have breakfast food the first morning back and don't have to rush right out to the store. 

When I was a kid, my grandmother always had our family over for a light supper the day we returned from our vacation.  It was a way to catch up and see her but it also (now that I am an adult and recognize such things) a wonderful gift for my mom in helping her ease back from vacation into daily life.  Gram would also put items in our fridge for the next morning breakfast.

The tradition was handed down to my mom who would stock our fridge on our returning home from vacation.  We carried the tradition on with my in-laws. When they would go out of town on golf trips, we would have them over for dinner when they got back and stocked their fridge with food.  So too did they reciprocate to us. 

Times have changed.  My father-in-law died three years ago. My mother-in-law doesn't drive and doesn't live around the corner any more. No more will I see the my mom's infamous notes in her beautiful handwriting telling me that there are eggs and milk in the fridge and bananas and zucchini bread on the counter.  

What about you?  What can you do to make your "re-entry" into reality easier?  How can you make it easier for someone else?  A neighbor, friend or relative? 

Restful Reflections

I am looking forward to our vacation this year.  We have the privilege to go away to our beloved Cape Cod.  And I do recognize that it is a privilege.  Not everyone gets to go on a vacation. 

The thing that I love about going away is the preparation and anticipation of a time when things are not part of our normal routine.  We have time to sleep in, to have uninterrupted conversations, to spend time as a family, to have time to think and to dream. 

The only thing is that in my preparation I almost always overestimate the amount of time we have away.  Just like I overestimate a room's dimensions in my mind's eye especially in planning furniture arrangement, I think that we will have loads of time to bike, play tennis, go to the beach, kayak, canoe, stroll down town, attend a local play, go out to dinner, watch the stars on our lovely deck, sightsee in Boston or a neighboring town, visit one of the Islands, read the dozen or so packed books, mentally prepare for the fall and its activities.  Phew! Just listing all the things that I think we might accomplish is exhausting and goes to show that I need a restful vacation with no agenda.  

So, I have decided to just let the vacation unfold as it will.  Sure, we have our bags packed with our books, tennis rackets, bike and beach gear but there is no pressure if we don't use all of it.  I am giving myself permission to have a complete break if I want. The important thing is that I am going to try and be mindful and enjoy each moment. 

While the preparation and anticipation is fun for me, the real joy comes with the actuality of the life lived focused on the present.  

What about you?  Do you have vacation plans this year?  What types of vacation do you take?  Are you good at just chilling out or do you have a hard time turning off the "to do" list?  How can you focus on the present, whether that is during a vacation or your normal week?