Clarity
There is a classic story about Mother Teresa and ethicist John Kavanaugh. Kavanaugh was questioning his future and was spending time with Mother Teresa in Calcutta. At one point he asked her to pray for him that he might achieve clarity in his decision.
“That I will not do,” she told him.
“I don’t understand. Why not?” he asked.
She smiled and said, “Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of. I pray that you will have trust.”
Kavanaugh responded to her that he assumed she had always had clarity; that she always had known what she was supposed to be doing. To which Mother Teresa responded that she never had clarity; that all she had was trust.
Wow. One of the most dedicated persons to a life-long purpose and she never felt clear about her future. She could continue only because she believed in Someone who was reliable, good, honest and had her ultimate best in His hands. In other words, she trusted God.
I have been thinking a lot about that story recently. We are going through decisions in our family that at first blush seem to need clarity. But when I think about it- clarity is really for my own personal benefit of control. Clarity means that I can figure out what I am meant to do. Clarity means that I understand.
Rather, trust puts the sole business of who is in control into God’s hands, into the One who is reliable, good, honest and true.
Clarity: the quality of being easily understood; the quality of being expressed, remembered, understood, etc., in a very exact way; the quality of being easily seen or heard.
Trust: belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.
Abraham and his Sarah* tried to take future matters into their own hands especially when it seemed as if God wasn’t too clear about their future. Early on their life’s journey God had promised land for “all their offspring”. Just because they were getting up in years and didn’t have any children was no reason for them to doubt God, but doubt they did. Abraham tried saving his hide (really, you cannot have offspring if you are dead) by pawning off Sarah as his sister when they moved to Egypt. That choice of mistaken identity didn’t provide any clarity for the future. It just muddled the relationship with Pharaoh.
Later, Sarah decided that since this future “offspring” wasn’t happening any time soon between her and Abraham, she would have her female servant Haggai sleep with Abraham instead and that offspring would suffice. Unfortunately that offspring, Ishmael, complicated matters for that generation and beyond, muddling even today’s relationships between Jews and Muslims.
It wasn’t until Abraham took his journey up the mountain to sacrifice Isaac that we see it is not about clarity but trust. Abraham had no idea what God was going to do but he followed God’s direction. The instructions were clear yet they didn’t provide much in way of explanation: sacrifice your son on the mountain. As an only child, miraculously given to elderly parents who had only one shot fulfilling the “as many as the stars” progeny, it would have been reasonable for Abraham to ask God for a little clarity over the mission about sacrificing his son Isaac. Instead, Abraham trudged up the mountain and when little Isaac asks him where the sacrificial lamb was, Abraham responds that God will provide. Abraham had to trust that God was going to provide for him in that moment -either giving Abraham the strength to sacrifice his only son and provide another plan for a multitude of offspring or do something else. God did provide with the something else- a ram stuck in the thicket.
What about you? Have you ever prayed for clarity in a situation? What happened? Have you trusted in God regarding a situation? What happened? Did you ever see the unfolded whole picture? Or were things revealed slowly? What was your “something else”?
The interesting thing is that when I look back and think of the times that I prayed for clarity, they almost always required that I have some trust as I moved forward. Much time and energy was spent over trying to achieve clarity. If I had just started out with trust in the beginning, I would’ve been in such a better place.
Much as I would like to achieve clarity in some of these future decisions, I am willing to go with trust instead.
* At this point of Abraham and Sarah’s story, they are originally called Abram and Sarai. It was too confusing to use two different names for my retelling. (Reminds me of Russian literature- Why does Dostoevsky have to have names and nicknames for the same characters?) However, God renames them Abraham and Sarah when He gives them the covenant. Interestingly that happens before Abraham’s trust journey up the mountain. Abram didn’t have to “prove” his loyalty or obedience to be renamed, Abraham. Gives me comfort to know that I don’t have to prove to God my obedience before He has a relationship with me. He has already reached out and is waiting for me to trust Him. Of course, after I begin a relationship I want to trust God and align my plan and purpose with His plan.