"He has a real job..."

This past week I was meeting some folks, and as the usual first time greetings go, was asked, "What do you do?"  Sometimes when people ask me that, depending upon the tone of their voice I really am tempted to say in a snarky voice, "precious little.

I really shouldn't feel so defensive about it.  He was just asking.   In this conversation, I explained that I was a writer, which then prompter him to ask what I have published?  And then he proceeded to tell me about his son who writes, but he has a "real job" doing "xyz" (something lucrative and other than writing).   

Oy vey.  Here we go.  I cannot tell you how many people over the last two and a half years who just don't get the creative life.  Sure, there is not a weekly paycheck but there are still set hours each day that are spent writing, creating or doing research.  It is a sit down job. I have heard back from people who say that (in no particular order) I am, "retired, ill, or moving", that it "must be nice to be a lady of leisure", or imply that I have "loads of time to do....." (you fill in the blank).  I want to counter- what is a fake job? Working for no pay?  Is a real job one that only exchanges money? (Then by that logic you can see there is a problem between the difference of prostitution and monogamous married sex?  Which is "real love"?) 

To be fair and if I am honest I have also been judgmental over someone's work.  I am ashamed to say that in my younger working years, I would think, "Gosh.  Must be nice to have a cushy (fill in the blank) job" where it seemed as if the person didn't have too many responsibilities, too many hours or too many physical demands.  Boy was I naive and stupid.

The thing is- work is work.  Regardless.  It doesn't matter what the type of work it is. If it is satisfying a calling, producing a good or service, helping another, providing an outlet for creativity and beauty for others in the world, it is all work. I like the google definition: work is an "activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result."

While I may bristle about the "real job", I am pragmatic enough to understand the whole concept of "starving artist" and "real jobs".  At the end of the day, you cannot eat your artwork or prose.

It is just that so many jobs nowadays are not "real" or regular in the sense of the nine-to-five jobs of yesteryear.  The way we do jobs have changed.  No longer do people have to have face to face meetings; you can conference anyone, anytime, anywhere around the world without having to leave the comfort of your home.  There is medical technology where the doctor can be on one continent and control a surgical robot performing on a surgical patient in another continent.  Money can be transferred from one bank account to another with the swish of a finger. 

I know I need to chill out over this issue. I guess after this latest encounter I am becoming a little less antagonistic.  When people make comments, they don't really think about others' sensitivity and the comments are generally made for conversation not for any harm.   I also am getting more comfortable to say that I am a writer.  (Although I haven't gotten to the point where I truly believe it- I will need a little more professional recognition for that.) I guess I am defensive because I would like to say, "Yes, by gum. I am a very successful writer.  I have name recognition, speaking engagements, and lucrative advancements."  Falling short of that,  I need to comfortable with my current situation and my sense of calling.  Like so many things in life, if we feel self-assured then we are more likely to be open and gracious to others regardless of what they may or may not say to us. 

What about you?  What is your job?  Have you ever switched careers?  How did that work out?  Did you feel that you had to justify it to others? Do you feel that you have a conventional job?  Does what you do involve a mental or physical effort to produce a result or achieve a purpose?  Do you pre-judge people based on their work?  Do you feel comfortable with your calling and your work?  How did you get to that place?  

 

What's Your Confidence Level?

Confidence: the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust; the state of feeling certain about the truth of something; a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

What's your confidence level?  Do you feel inadequate with your work, your looks, your life? What if someone you admired said that he liked your style?  Or she thought you looked great?  He thought you were wonderful?  

Would you believe her?  Would you think he was just telling you tales in order to get something from you?  

There are times when I am just frustrated by myself.  I feel discouraged. I lack any confidence.  I feel that everyone else is more successful, more attractive, demonstrates better interpersonal skills, communicates better, funnier, etc. ,… (fill in the blank).  

I look at those who have confidence or at least exude confidence whether they feel it or not. Whatever they do, others follow or are in awe of their accomplishments, decisions, actions, even clothing.  How does that happen?  If you take the components apart, they are not that interesting nor their decisions that great but it is almost as if their persona is more important than the substance.  They have an aura of self assurance. 

When I feel low, if that confident person gave me their “seal of approval”, I would be floating on cloud nine.  I would walk around with my head up high, internally knowing that so and so thought I was something.  

The thing is, as a Christ follower and child of God, I can have that confidence. I can have the assurance of the truth that God, the ultimate confident creator of all things and of me, thinks I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  He intimately knows me and all that I am- my faults, my failures,  and my fears.  Yet He still loves me and sees my potential, the being that He created me to be. 

If only I would remember that.  I would walk with confidence.  

Now confidence does not mean arrogance.  I am sure that you can recall plenty of overly confident people who seemed down right arrogant. Arrogance is really a disguise for lack of confidence and is a coverup of feelings of inadequacy.  The arrogant person is being deceitful- If I come across as knowing everything then you might not be able to see that is not the reality.   

I do not need to be arrogant because just as I am fearfully and wonderfully made, so are you. That is the beauty of God.  We are all on the same level.  No one is more important than another.  He loves and made each one of us on a similar plane.  When I feel loved by God I can relax and carry on with what I am supposed to do.  I don't need to play the comparison game, that "so and so is better at...(fill in the blank)  than I.

What about you?  How is your confidence level?  Do you struggle with low self-esteem?  Do you play the comparison game with others?  Do you feel self-assured?  Do you believe that God loves you, just as you are? 

When I start feeling that my confidence level is dropping, I need to remember the truth that I can rely on God and His love for me.  When I know that I have His seal of approval, all doubts, fears and comparisons can fall away.  I can be one of those people who elude true confidence because my confidence isn't through me and my accomplishments but in the One who made me.