Spaciousness

What have you learned this past year? Anything? Or has this year been one of endurance- just get through it? Have you spent anytime in reflection? Has anything become important to you? Health? Time? Family? Friends? Faith?

The other Sunday I heard a poet being interviewed on Krista Tippett’s On Being. It was a rebroadcast from an earlier show. The poet was using a word she had heard from a Japanese student: yutori- meaning living with spaciousness. The whole concept of the word is to live life in the moment and not be rushed or pressed for time. An example of yutori is when you leave early to get somewhere in order that once there, you can have time to look around. Yutori is an intentionality to our schedule that allows us to be present and not rushed. In essence- to give yourself wiggle room.

The concept of living with spaciousness resonated with me. I need to remember it especially during this transition of moving out of isolation/Covid time into a new “normal”. I view my life with the demarcation of pre-Covid, rushed and feeling that I did not have any time and Covid, a feeling that time is not rushed at all. This past year, I have found it is easy to lose track of time when there are no set appointments or schedules. I have no clue to the day of the week, much less what day of the month it might be. In fact, I am hesitant to go back to any pre-Covid type of schedule and am anxious to have re-gatherings. Not so much for any type of contagion but rather the fear of being sucked into the vortex of the tyranny of the urgent and all things that scheduling appointments, meetings, and gatherings entail.

One of the blessings of the Covid shut-down is that I have had to slow down. I didn’t realize how much my schedule was packed until it no longer was. I have had time for reflection and thinking.

I have been thinking that I would like to extend the concept of living with spaciousness to more than just my day planner. I would like to experience spaciousness in my thoughts, my time, my actions and to some extent, my physical surroundings. It is interesting that Covid has brought not just a halt to our schedules but also provided us with the physical reminder of buffers. For just like we need to distance ourselves to remain healthy, we need the idea of distancing with our thoughts, actions and even physical surroundings- to give ourselves space to thrive. It is in those spaces that we give ourselves latitude to plan, to dream, to build relationships, and to live into our purpose.

For me, I find writing in a journal the best way to buffer my thoughts. I can remove the “stuff” that is swirling in my brain and leave room for other ideas to take shape. It is through the journal that I can lay out my future plans and give myself time and space before enacting them.

I also find that when I have physical space- lack of clutter around me, I can concentrate better. Perhaps you have noticed, many are de-cluttering during this time. Whether intentional or just following society’s home improvement trend, it is not a bad idea. It is literally providing spaciousness in one’s home/office which can also be incorporated for post-Covid living. Providing “distance” with our belongings lets us see what we have and to decide what we need and don’t need.

I like one of the explanations to needing to declutter- If you have to move things around to accomplish a task at home or office or feel overwhelmed by all your things, then you might want to think about de-cluttering and adding some “space” to your physical space. Of course, now that whole households- work spaces and school rooms- are under one roof, de-cluttering may take on a whole different meaning and form. The psychology of clutter can be tied to procrastination- sorting and tossing out an item can be unpleasant to people and avoided at all costs. The more things pile up, the more out of control one feels and the more one avoids the inevitable. But, the benefits of tackling clutter can outweigh those inertia feelings.

I also like the idea of building space into our schedules. In the pre-Covid time management plan, it would be suggested to add travel time in-between meetings. But, with teleworking, it still is important to place time blocks into our days. Our son is taking medical school classes online. He says many of the professors go over the allotted class time because they think the students don’t have to move from one classroom to anther. With everything back to back, they have no time to digest what is being taught much less shift papers around before the next barrage of information is given.

But we could practice implementing travel time into our schedules. If one “arrives” early for a meeting or gathering (even if it is social), there is time to take a deep breath, think about what is going to happen, perhaps say a prayer or two before engaging in conversation or activity. Maybe before any interaction we should always take some time to say a mantra, quote or Bible verse. Even if it is just a reminder to “choose to be kind” before we enter into a new situation.

I think one of the true tenets of living with spaciousness is in providing space for others to grow. It might mean that we give others space to make mistakes as well as space to succeed. Living with spaciousness is not just in how we manage our time but in how we give others room to be the best version of themselves.

What about you? What lessons from Covid have you learned? Anything you want to continue in the post-Covid world? How are you with your time? Do you live with spaciousness? If so, what does that look like?

Yutori is also defined as “a state with sufficiency and ease”. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a good state of mind to me.

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Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

Bucket Learning List

Recently I heard someone speak about her “bucket learning list”. I think by now, the term bucket list is pretty much universally used to describe those activities or experiences that one wants to do during one’s lifetime.

What I like about this new expression is the emphasis on learning. What subjects do you want to learn in your lifetime? I have found that when I think about it, the list continues to grow and grow. If I give myself permission and if I had enough resources and time, my learning appetite is insatiable.

I think I would want to thoroughly learn about all educational subjects: Literature from all countries (e.g. English Lit, French Lit, South American Lit, Russian Lit. etc.); History- especially the interconnectedness of the events happening simultaneous throughout the world, Fine Arts- music and art history, appreciation, as well as the mechanics of painting and performing music, Latin, Greek and Hebrew (to be able to read the Bible in its original form), Romantic Languages (although my track record is not so hot), Astronomy…

In addition I would want to learn how to do basic carpentry, master gardening, the proper way to use cooking knives and chopping techniques, science/chemical reactions of cooking, salsa dancing lessons, interior design…

This is just a partial list that I compiled in two minutes.

What about you? What would be on your bucket learning list? How would you go about learning that information? Do you need to find more information about the educational opportunities in your community? Do you have friends who are “experts” in a specific field? Could you meet and trade information? What does your local community college offer? Parks and Recreation counsel? Local library? If attending classes are not in the budget, what about systematically going through the subject books in your local library? (for instance, all the biographies on all the United States Presidents.) Or, systematically go through YouTube videos on a subject. As you start looking at information, intentionally look at opinions or information from opposite viewpoints.

One of the greatest gifts that God has given us is the gift of curiosity and learning. If these things do not come naturally to you, cultivate it- start by looking at your world as if seeing it for the first time. You will be amazed at what you learn and see.

The Greeks have said, “to marvel is the beginning of knowledge and where we cease to marvel we may be in danger of ceasing to know.” ( E.H. Gombrich, Art and Illusion)

Fill that bucket by marveling at all the things you can learn.

Words?

Sometimes when I have too many projects going on in my head, I have difficulty in communicating what I want to say to others. I will start a conversation and either pause grasping for a word or jump from one train of thought to another. My son will look at me, raise an eyebrow and say, “Words?” (He is twisting the conversations that we, as parents used to have with him and his brother when they had an altercation with one another- Use your words (rather than fists) we would admonish.) What he is trying to do is get me to slow down and use the right word to describe or convey instruction.

Do you find yourself at the start of each year with a whole host of plans? Things you want to do and want to change? Do you also find yourself at the middle of the year, or even one month into the year, frustrated that nothing has happened?

For 2019 I would encourage you to use your words or more specifically to think of one word- one word to describe your intention, focus or meaning for your life this year. One word that will help you change to become the person you want to become. There is a book, (which I haven’t read yet but has been recommended by others) that describes the process- My One Word by Mike Ashcraft and Rachel Olsen. (For more information, click here)

From the My One Word website:

Step 1: DETERMINE THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME

The first step is to simply take some time and decide what kind of person you want to be at the end of this year. This goes beyond simply being healthier and wealthier, but it must drive deep into your soul. What about the condition of your heart? What about the person that God Himself has created you to be?

Step 2: IDENTIFY THE CHARACTERISTICS OF THAT PERSON

Get a picture of that person and then simply identify their major characteristics. Is that person gentle? Is that person generous? What are the qualities of the person you want to become?

Step 3: PICK A WORD

Once you have a list of the characteristics, simply pick a word. There might be fifteen things that you want to change, but you must resist the temptation to promise you will do them all. Instead, simply commit to ONE WORD.

This will provide you with a lens to see the changes you need to make as well as a way to determine whether or not change is actually happening. Understand that this process is hard, but staying focused on your word will help you to struggle in the right direction so that you can actually see God working in your life.

Different folks that I know have chosen the following words over the years: joy, love, peace, early, submission, present, resist. There is no right or wrong word, just one that resonates with you. My word for the 2019 is focus. While I am a pretty disciplined person, I have a tendency to put others’ needs in front of my own, so much so that I avoid doing what God has called me to do, all in the name of helping others. For what seems like good work really is not so great: I hide behind this “selfless” act and never rise up to the challenge that God has for me. So for this year, I intend to focus on what God is calling me to do- concentrate on my writing.

What about you? What is your word for the year? Rather than have a list of resolutions, why not concentrate on applying one word to your daily life?

Many blessings for 2019. Thank you for joining me on this journey and in reading this blog. I hope to have many exciting new writing projects to share with you in 2019. If you feel that any of my words are worthwhile, please share these posts with others.

What Are You Intending To Do Today?

When I introduced my then boyfriend (now husband) to my family, my brother asked John in no uncertain terms- "What are your intentions towards my sister?"  Partly he was joking but partly because he truly wanted to know. 

I like the word intention- a determination to act in a certain way and intentionality-the fact of being deliberate.  

Have you ever thought about your intentions?  I like the image of deliberately doing something. The simple definitions for intend are-to plan or have something in mind. It connotes a decision on one's part that only that individual can make. It is the beginning of the process to achieving something.  The Olympic athletes are intentional about their workouts. The practices don't just happen willy-nilly.  Successful people, whether we are talking "worldly" or "spiritual" success, are intentional about their lifestyle- what they do, with whom they interact, where they spend their time. 

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions", is a quote attributed to Samuel Johnson.  (There is debate whether or not it is truly his or perhaps Saint Bernard of Clairvaux). The point of the proverb is this- while it is good to have intentions, there needs to be another step in achieving those goals.  Or to quote another saying- "just do it".   Many of us say we want to do such and such or that we decide this is how we will act, speak, behave, plan, etc. but many times we never proceed with the next step of doing the actual work to achieve it.  We then end up living in the hell of disappointment with ourselves.  "Why can't I get anything done?", we lament. 

Intentionality takes the thought process to another level.  Sure we can formulate a plan or goal in our mind.  I think of intentionality as the grit and deep down determination that we are going to do it.   It is an inner resolve.  It is if in our mind's eye when we are intentionally going to do something we become like Scarlet O'Hara at the intermission portion of Gone With The Wind:  "As God is my witness, I will never go hungry again." 

I was thinking about this word this morning as I was wondering about my own intentions?  Not only what do I want to achieve this summer, but am I intentionally doing things, controlling my schedule, choosing activities and work that pushes me along the path of my purpose and plans? 

What can I intentionally do today that would move me along my purpose?

One thing about which I need to be intentional is working in community- reaching out to friends, family and neighbors.  As I have mentioned before I am basically shy and introverted (Some of you might be surprised by my declaration. Yes, I can certainly meet and greet people and do enjoy people but left to my own devices I am more the observer than the participant)  I need to reach out to others in a way that is fitting for my personality (one on one, notes of encouragement, etc.)

I will be intentional:

1. Sending encouraging emails or notes to those whose names have been on my heart
2. Looking for ways to speak to my neighbors more than the precursory wave
3. Treating my writing as a full time job

What about you?  What are your intentions?  First name them.  But then next, how will you go about doing them? What intentional actions can you do?  Are there any resolutions in your life that you will, "As God is your witness, never or always do..."  What can you do each day to remind yourself of your resolve and intentions?   What are you intending to do today?

Practice Intentional Acts of Encouragement

I am all for practicing random acts of kindness but lately I have been thinking about intentional acts of encouragement.   I read a little vignette recently of a woman who said although she was physically disabled and couldn't do much in the way of helping others, she could think and pray for their needs.  She offered her service of prayer to her local church. 

I thought Wow!  Here was someone who could just close down and concentrate on her own needs yet she was willing to reach out to others.   Too often when we think only of ourselves and we become isolated.  Yet by her intentionality I am sure she felt part of a larger community. 

It made me think of two times in my life when I received contact from people I didn't know too well who offered me prayer and encouragement.  

A long time ago I was part of a book club.  I really enjoyed it but sometimes I was a little intimidated by the books, the discussions, and some of the other members and their opinions.  I always felt that I had so much to learn and that I was so inept in sharing my rudimental thoughts.  Out of the blue one of the very opinionated members called me.  She didn't talk very long.  She just wanted to say that she valued my opinion and that it was a joy having me in the group.  Then she said, "That's it.  That is what I wanted you to know." 

At first I was taken aback.  So unexpected and so brusque like her personality.  But I cherished what she said and I was gob-struck  that she actually called me to tell me what she was thinking.  I know that many times I think of others through out the day but I very rarely let them know the positive thoughts I have about them. I wonder what our society would look like if people said the positive things directly to the ones about whom they are thinking?  We are very quick to say our displeasure but what if instead we were quick to say our good thoughts? 

Once I was in charge of a volunteer group that was charged with coordinating the emergency needs of others.  It was very stressful and intense.  Many times I felt inadequate and overwhelmed.  On one particular time when I really felt at the end of my rope wondering how I got myself into this group and questioning why I felt God had called me to this ministry,  I received an email from a couple I didn't know too well.  They had taken upon themselves to systematically pray for the various ministries and groups and especially for their leaders.  That week the group for which I was responsible was at the top of the list.  They wanted to know how they could pray, what specific things and especially for me, what did I need?  Again, I was speechless.  

In psychology there is a benefit for positive thinking.  It changes one's brain chemistry which in turn is good for our health.  Yet I believe that prayer to God goes beyond the idea of positive thinking.  Prayer is a way to hand over our worries to one who is a lot larger than we are and who is in total control.   Prayer can change circumstances for whom we pray and it changes us as we pray. That is not to say that we just ask and God provides everything like a cosmic genie in the bottle.   The process of praying helps redefine our requests, helps us put our life's circumstances in perspective, helps us in our attitude towards the one for whom we pray and helps us to be part of one another's lives by drawing us closer to one another.  

How about making today, the day that you practice intentional acts of encouragement?  Pray for the people you meet, whether they be familiar to you or not.  Intentionally pray for those who are in positions of leadership- a boss, a manager, a teacher, a principal, a politician, etc.  Let those around you know that you are praying for them.  Let people around you know what they mean to you.  Doesn't have to be a long discourse, just a simple, "I really enjoy your quips and sense of humor, " for example.  

What would your life look like if you practiced intentional acts of encouragement?