Doing the Right Thing

I don't know about you, but the protesting from the last couple of weeks has really gotten to me.  I am distressed that people will speak and act so violently against other people. It seems as if both parties can incite their own and each other.

I wonder if I were part of a protest, would I get carried away? The log is in my own eye because there is a part of me that just wants those with whom I don't agree to just shut the heck up.  Hopefully I would never resort to violence to have them be quiet.  But are those who protest seemingly reasonable any other time?

I am a firm believer for freedom of speech so I would hope that my desire for that universal freedom would override any "mob" mentality.  If I start picking and choosing who may speak, based on my preferences, then I am no better than the dictators or absolute rulers of this world.  I hope that I would choose and do the right thing when it comes to dealing with individuals whom I may not agree.

Last week there was a story that exemplified someone who was choosing and doing the right thing.  A news reporter, Al Letson was in Berkeley California, reporting on a protest of white supremacists and its counter protest of anti-fascists or antifa. As Mr. Letson was watching things unfold, he saw a white supremacist fall to the ground and an angry group of antifa approach the fallen man with what appeared to the journalist intent to harm or possible kill the fallen white supremist.  So the journalist broke the journalist code of "not becoming part of the story" and lay on the man, covering him with his own body so that the left-wing, antifa protesters would stop.  The journalist was hoping that the anti-protesters would see him, a black man on the ground and not harm him or the gentleman underneath him. 

What a hero and a testament that as humans, we can show compassion, understanding and empathy even if we do not agree.  

But, I wonder- would I be as brave as the journalist?  Would I stand up for someone even if I did not agree with the other person? 

I haven't been part of any protests, nor have I been put in a split second decision to offer my life for someone else, but I have had opportunities to sign petitions or statements for various groups.  Most of the requests I would say I agree with the sentiments but there is generally some statement or statements that I cannot completely agree.  I find that almost every issue has nuances and is not so cut and dry.  Some of the sentiments are quite true but once "on board", I find that there are other sentiments that are not quite in keeping with the intention.  

And so I struggle.  How do we know what to believe?  How do we, as Americans, get out of this negative, all or nothing, vile hatred of other's beliefs and in turn of others?  How do we protest without being violent?  How do we agree to disagree?  How do we get the other side to listen to us?  How do we get institutions to revoke policies and practices that are not equal to all Americans? How do we not remain bitter when that happens? 

I was thinking that I need to look back.  I am wanting to read about forgiveness and grace.  How did South Africa turn the tide of apartheid?  Certainly there was blood shed and much hardship.  But how did Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu work with the same people who imprisoned and hurt them?   How do we work, live, play beside the people whom we do not agree?  How can reconciliation occur? 

What about you?  Have you thought about the protests happening in our nation?  Have you participated in any?  What was the feeling of the crowd?  Would you be as quick thinking as the journalist to protect someone whom you disagree? 

Have you had the opportunity to do the right thing?  Or, by my using the action word, "doing", are you in the process of exploring the right thing? 

Click here to read the story of the journalist doing the right thing.  

Profiling Close to Home

Our house is located on a non-through street. While it is not a dead end, it is shaped more like a horseshoe. It makes our neighborhood semi-secluded for traffic. Generally the cars that navigate the street are ones belonging to the residents and their guests.  The homes are close together so that the children can play out on the street and front yards while the adults can talk over raking leaves, shoveling snow and monitoring children. 

Yesterday I witnessed racial profiling in our neighborhood.  It made me quite uncomfortable and it made me wonder what I can and cannot do about it.

I was outside on our front lawn raking leaves. As I am want to do, with any car passing I usually look up and wave.  Most times I recognize the car and driver but if I don't, I still wave because we have had some new neighbors move in and I am not completely sure of all their identities. 

A car I didn't recognize was driving quite slowly down our street.  It was obvious that they were looking for a specific house number.  After a turn-around in a driveway and two failed attempts to park on the curved street, the car stopped across the street from where I was.  I was about to approach the car and offer the driver a suggestion for easier parking when a police officer drove up.  He started to ask me a question then said never mind and proceeded to get out of his car and approached the parked one.  He rapped on the window and said, "Hey, what are you doing here?" As he spoke I cringed because the tone wasn't so nice. The woman was polite in explaining that she was here to do some cleaning and wondered why she was questioned "because I am black?"

The officer accompanied her to the house of her appointment and very shortly got back into his car. The woman then came back to her car to get her equipment.  I went over to talk to her and apologized for the general misunderstanding.  I explained that there had been a bunch of break-ins in our neighborhood recently and the community association was told by police to call them if someone we didn't recognize was in the neighborhood.  We had a nice chat.  She told me where she worked and how she knew our neighbor. I offered her a place to park in our driveway if she ever had trouble parking. 

I found the incident disturbing.  Partly because it was embarrassing that one of our neighbors felt threatened by a "stranger" in our midst and called the police . Just because she didn't look like one of us.  I wondered, will the neighbors now be calling the police on my sons' friends when they come over to our home to visit? 

 I felt disturbed because in the few minutes that the officer and woman were validating her reason to be in our neighborhood, I had the panicked feeling, "What if she thinks I called the police?  What if she really isn't here for legitimate reasons and decides to retaliate?"  I was disturbed that I had that thought at all. 

I also was embarrassed that the police officer's tone wasn't nicer.  It seemed to go in line with all that I hear on the radio about the clashes with police and people of color.   But then again, I haven't walked in his shoes, seen what he has seen nor am privy to what he knows. 

I understand why my neighbor called. I realized afterwards who probably did make the call.  These folks have had a number of break-ins at their home over the last couple of months.  They are overly cautious.

I can see why the racial problems are escalating. It doesn't take very long nor take much imagination to have a full scale misunderstanding.  Thank goodness the woman was very gracious.  

What can be done?  I do think conversation and getting to know one another is key. I generally don't like to get involved with neighborhood things but I somehow felt that I should reach out to that woman.  I am glad I did.

I also realize that sometimes things happen, misunderstandings occur and it is a risk to try to rectify.  If the woman did suspect that I called the police and I had not talked to her, both of us would've have continued building the wall of stereotype and division.  She would've thought I was another paranoid privileged white person and I would've thought that she was another defensive black person.

Sometimes trying to reach out and talk doesn't help at all.  The walls are quite thick. Neither party wants to hear what the other has to say.  Judgements and ideas are solidly formed. But over time, walls can be chipped away. Thoughts can be changed.  Stereotypes can be laid to rest. 

There is a great story of racial tension and transformation called The Best of Enemies:

"C. P. Ellis grew up in the poor white section of Durham, North Carolina, and as a young man joined the Ku Klux Klan. Ann Atwater, a single mother from the poor black part of town, quit her job as a household domestic to join the civil rights fight. During the 1960s, as the country struggled with the explosive issue of race, Atwater and Ellis met on opposite sides of the public school integration issue. Their encounters were charged with hatred and suspicion. In an amazing set of transformations, however, each of them came to see how the other had been exploited by the South's rigid power structure, and they forged a friendship that flourished against a backdrop of unrelenting bigotry.

Rich with details about the rhythms of daily life in the mid-twentieth-century South, The Best of Enemies offers a vivid portrait of a relationship that defied all odds. By placing this very personal story into broader context, Osha Gray Davidson demonstrates that race is intimately tied to issues of class, and that cooperation is possible--even in the most divisive situations--when people begin to listen to one another." (taken from the sales description at UNC press)

I still am stumped about the best way to handle situations like those I witnessed but I hope that by keeping the dialogue and conversations open, we might be able to have some type of break through in our racial divide. 

What about you?  Have you ever witnessed or been part of racial profiling?  What happened?  How did it make you feel?  

Have you ever experienced profiling close to home?