Good from Suffering?

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening or exactly where it is going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.” Thomas Merton

I found the above quote in a serendipitous way. You know how it goes- you start looking up something online, that leads to something else and then another something else until voila- you find a quote or essay or video that strikes a chord with you. The above quote was found in one such rabbit hole as I was reading a piece of writing from a former acquaintance. Turns out it was the above quote that resonated with her during a faith-questioning time following the initial diagnosis of a debilitating chronic illness.

It has struck me too because of late, friends and family have been bombarded with all sorts of twists, turns and unknowns in their life journeys: unforeseen diagnosis, hospitalizations, existential questions of “Why me?”, “Why bother?”, “What is the point of life?” Questions about what is happening in their lives and where they are headed on this journey.

Last Friday there was a piece on StoryCorps about a women in Leverett, MA who went around town and interviewed various people about their experiences during this pandemic and lockdown. The woman had her own time of unknowns: her daughter had died a couple of months before the pandemic and then she lost her job at the beginning of the pandemic. She found that interviewing others helped her find footing in her life. As she said, “Doing these interviews gave me a sense of purpose and meaning that I badly needed. Just when things seemed so dark, I found some light in the words of the people all around me.”

I was especially taken with her feelings of purpose and meaning. That seems to be the crux in life: we were designed to have purpose and meaning and because we are thinking beings, to recognize it. Most people can endure hardships when there is an understanding of purpose or at least some type of positive outcome/useful experience for others to the hardship. One may not enjoy the difficulty but at least if the hardship serves some kind of purpose and meaning there is some acceptance.

I found an interesting article in a 2018 post on Psychology Today, “Finding purpose in the Face of Tragedy and Adversity”.

“Regardless of whether people believe that “everything happens for a reason” or believe in a higher plan, and regardless of how resilient or vulnerable they are, most are able to derive some meaning in the face of adversity if some good comes from their suffering and misfortune, for themselves or others. And people are often remarkably adept at achieving this. The good that people make from bad usually does not make the bad event “worthwhile,” let alone indicate that the event was cosmically intended, but it can help people deal with their trauma and derive some meaning from it.”*

I also heard an interesting story about the “desk guys”: a father who built desks for his virtual-schooling children and a local business who wanted to do something for the community. The father had made a video demonstrating how he made the school desk for his kids. The video caught the attention of the local store who was willing to provide supplies for desks. The two entities partnered and have been able to help families in the community. From their standpoint, they “just want to help” and the recipients are so grateful because the desks “lift people’s spirits up”. One good deed, encourages the spirit and also motivates more good deeds. The father who was making desks said that one night as he was working in his garage, a man approached him, asked, “Are you the desk man?” and upon the affirmation, the gentleman handed the dad $20 for materials for a desk. A simple act yet the father was even more encouraged. “Good folks are out there.” Even an incident as disrupting as a global pandemic, has positive outcomes where courage, faith, and hope can be embraced.

What about you? How are things going for you? Do you find your life is chaotic, out of control? Is there anything that you have discovered about yourself or others through this time? Have you recognized any challenges or possibilities in the midst of the hardship? Have you found any meaning or purpose? Seen any courage, faith or hope displayed?

In the midst of any chaos, turmoil or suffering in one’s life, there is a way to endure. There is a place to know that whatever one experiences, there is goodness that comes out of difficulties, both large and small. For most individuals, the power of getting through difficulties it just that- getting through. There may not be any big societal or personal change but rather the reward of stick-to-it-ness and found meaning through the sharing and encouragement of one another. It is the small things that keeps us going: the kind note, the smile, the listening, the sharing of time, talents or resources. It is the learning and accepting that hardships will happen and that we cannot control or predict the future. Our task is to be present in the moment and to act accordingly- to find the challenges and opportunities as well as to be witness to the hardship. Sometimes that is for ourselves. Other times it is the opportunity to bear witness of another’s hardship. Either way it is an opportunity to rise about the hardship with courage, faith, and hope. At least that is my prayer when I experience difficulties. May it be yours too.

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*https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-purpose/201811/finding-purpose-in-the-face-tragedy-and-adversity

Hope Floats

Today as I was driving to the beach for a dog walk, I came across this boat. (Somehow it just doesn’t seem right to drive to a walk but that is for another tale.) I think it was meant to be a landmark for the house down the lane from the main road. It just struck me as funny and poignant.

“Hope”. It would be a miracle if this boat floats. Did it ever float? Was it once in bristol condition? What happened? Could it be rebuilt and once again take on the seas?

Yet, I was thinking how often this worn down, unseaworthy boat can be symbolic for my hope and ultimately my faith. Truth is, while I have hope for everyone else in the world, sometimes I do not have hope for myself. I truly believe that God has something special for everyone but I don’t always think that for myself. I may say that I have hope but many times I am quite cynical because experiences and relationships have sometimes not worked out as I have hoped. Each time I hope for something and it doesn’t appear to come to fruition, my hope boat springs a leak. I can easily be beaten down by the winds of disappointment. Each time they blow, my little vessel becomes battered and knocked about.

I recognize that way of thinking is immature and shortsighted. The little hope boat on the side of the road has come at time when I need to reflect on my faith. I have felt hopeless these last couple of months. Am I so shallow in my faith that a battering of broken bones and subsequent nerve damage (hopefully temporarily) has got me flummoxed?

Of course, I recognize that hope, faith and trust go hand in hand. When I feel my hope slipping and my little vessel of faith becoming unseaworthy, I remember all that God has done and all His promises. I remember that God is a good, loving and faithful Father. I remember that God’s will and timing are not at all mine. I remember that I am in need of so much grace and I need to extend that to others.

I remember Romans 8: 24: “Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Right on the heels of that verse is a promise that even when we do not know how to pray- there are so many examples of how we can be stymied in prayer: loss of hope/faith, disappointments, overwhelmed, grieved, etc- the Spirit is there to help us. The Spirit intercedes for us when all hope is lost. How comforting is that?!

When my little vessel of hope is floundering, I need to remember that God is there to help right it. I need to trust and keep the faith.

What about you? What would be the name of your faith vessel? What would its condition be? Does your hope float?

Breathtaking Beauty of Life

Do you ever have themes in your life? Days or weeks when the same topic seems to be brought up in a variety of settings? It is as if the cosmos is telling you- “This is important. Listen.”

It appears that I have had a theme this last week.

The above quote was tucked at the bottom of Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper article from this past Sunday. I really liked it as it captures the essence of life: “heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary”. It captures all that I have felt about life especially the extra- ordinariness of the ordinary.

This past week, my women’s Bible study looked at Psalm 90, a psalm of Moses. Moses reminds us of our limitations as humans, namely that we are like fleeting grass and that, in modern day parlance, we cannot “take it with us”. He reminds us of our sinful nature and therefore our shortened lives. Yet, the psalm also speaks to God’s infinite presence and His holiness and righteousness. It is in remembering our proper place that we can live lives that have joy, peace and authenticity. The psalmist reminds us to number our days and to make the best use of our time. It is in looking at death that we can come to grips with life.

Also, this past week was a national day of mourning. It was a time for the national collective to reflect on a president as well as a time to reflect on ourselves. After all, for what funeral doesn’t cause introspection? Many different news commentators spoke of how hearing about the life of President George H.W. Bush made them think about how they lived their own lives. It was a chance to reflect on the time each one of us has left on this earth.

And then closer to home, this past week our church had our annual service of hope and loss. It is a special service to reflect on our losses, whether the loss of a loved one, a dream, our health, etc. and to embrace the hope that comes with Immanuel. It is a collective time for remembering our loved ones- those present and past and it is a time to recount our lives and how we are numbering our days.

All this “death” has me thinking about life. At our service of hope and loss I witnessed first hand the breathtaking beauty of heartbreak and soul-healing. I saw those whom I know have gone through devastating losses to enter into a place of giving to others. Not that they have forgotten those losses, but because they have witnessed the hope of a future with the everlasting God, they are willing to enter into new horizons.

Life is messy. Nothing brings that home more than the fact that God came to earth through the messiness of being one of us- starting as a helpless, messy, needy baby. God was with us (Immanuel) through the experience of Jesus’ life here on earth. Jesus experienced all that we do except sin. When I acknowledge these facts- Jesus was here on earth. He experienced all that I have and will experience. He lived with purpose and with “numbered days”- I have hope for my future. I have hope that I can number my days and accomplish that which God has called me to do. God’s work of my hands means living an authentic life. One in which I honor Him by integrity, love of God/family/friends/neighbor, loyalty, honesty, being servant minded.

“Let Your work appear to Your servants, And Your glory to their children. And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us, And establish the work of our hands for us.”

What about you? Any life themes? What is the cosmos trying to tell you? Have you ever thought about death? How do you live your life? With an eye on your epitaph? What would people say about you at your funeral?

Is your life breathtakingly beautiful?

W@TW: Hope Blooms

We have had a span of cloudy, rainy and generally grey days this last week. While the weather may suit my mood it certainly does nothing for helping me improve it.

Greening just beginning...

But "physician heal thyself".  I took my own advice: get moving, get out in nature and witness something beyond myself.  I took a run and on my returning into the house I glanced at our front garden.  We have a little garden along the front sidewalk that contains hydrangeas and roses. I peeked at the hydrangeas and some green shoots were emerging!  Every year I am amazed at the reemergence of life on dormant branches.  Life and growth never ceases to amaze me.

On a recent dog walk, I found a broken off brown and gnarly branch in the middle of the sidewalk.  It contained a fair amount of buds and I wondered if I could force them open (like you can do with pussy willow and forsythia) so I cut the branches up into a "bouquet".  This morning I noticed the flowers were beginning to emerge! The thought that this found broken and discarded branch could produce something beautiful inspires me.  It reminds me that things I think are broken may be potential for something else that has yet to be pursued.  The "broken" item might just need a different environment to thrive. 

What these early signs of spring remind me is that:

1. Life goes on regardless of how we feel.
2. There is potential even in those things that seem broken and used up.
3. There is hope in this world.
4. God loves to show us little things to remind us that He cares about all things in our lives- big and small. 
5. Bleakness doesn't have to be a constant companion.
6. When feeling blue, try and observe one thing in nature.

What about you?  What gives you hope?  What have you witnessed lately in the natural world around you?  Have you ever tried forcing the blooms of pussy willow or forsythia?  Is there a situation in your life that seems broken?  Is it only dormant or static and needs a different environment? 

I believe God gave us the natural world for many reasons.  One being that it is a visual reminder of His provision and goodness and care.  

The Fifth of July

What does the fourth of July mean to you?  With the phenomenal success of the Broadway show Hamilton, I am somewhat amazed that there is not more of a cultural interest in our American beginnings.  I guess I am comparing it to the American Bicentennial and at that time, it seemed that there was a national interest in all things colonial. 

Of course, that was forty years ago and a lot of water has passed under the bridge.  We have witnessed more wars, experienced recessions, lived with consequences of corrupt politicians, questioned our history and legitimacy of being a world dominating power and seen the world become smaller through globalization.

Recently I found the song book for the musical "1776" among my mother's things.  At the time it was one of my favorites.  I found that I was a sponge to soak up all things related to our Colonial and Federal period.   I still appreciate the clever lyrics and I still find that I prefer American Revolution history over Civil War events. 

It might be that I appreciate the independent, greater good streak of our eighteenth-century forefathers rather than the selfish hiding under the umbrella of states' rights nineteenth-century ancestors.  (I know, a biased and limited account from my part.  I very much realize that both time frames do not reflect or honor a vast majority of our population- the African American slaves who were sacrificed beyond imagination for the White Americans' benefit.) 

More importantly, what does the fifth of July mean to you? Because as much as we may have celebrated yesterday with cook-outs, parades or fireworks, today is a new day.  We may have been reminded of our past with all its flawed goodness, but we have to move forward with our future.  What does that look like?  For us as a nation?  a community?  a family?  as individuals? 

Can we sit by and watch as individuals and people groups are discriminated against, violated of human rights, or treated with disrespect?  Can we allow our government to become isolated from the world around us?  Should we succumb to the national gossip? Should we take those in power to task for saying things that are not true or half truths?  Can we demand better of our leadership? Can we stand up to tyranny ("cruel, unreasonable, or arbitrary use of power or control") among our leadership? 

Sometimes I wonder what our founding fathers would make of this current United States.  Would they have wondered how we fared? That we fared as long as we have? Would they be surprised that we struggle with the same issues as they did? 

In the musical, "1776" there is a poignant soliloquy by John Adams. He reflects on letters from a discouraged General Washington.  Click here to see the clip from the movie.  

Adams:
Is anybody there?
Does anybody care?
Does anybody see what I see?
They want to me to quit; they say
John, give up the fight
Still to England I say
Good night, forever, good night!
For I have crossed the Rubicon
Let the bridge be burned behind me
Come what may, come what may
Commitment!
The croakers all say we'll rue the day
There'll gobble be hell to pay in fiery purgatory
Through all the gloom, through all the gloom
I see the rays of ravishing light and glory!
Is anybody there? Does anybody care?
Does anybody see what I see?
I see fireworks! I see the pagaent and
Pomp and parade
I hear the bells ringing out
I hear the cannons roar
I see Americans - all Americans
Free forever more
How quiet, how quiet the chamber is
How silent, how silent the chamber is
Is anybody there? Does anybody care?
Does anybody see what I see?

I think our founding fathers were incredibly brave and wise.  But they were no better nor worse than we are today.  I do have hope that people are listening and talking.  That we do see from where we came and to where we are headed.  I do have hope that this fifth of July and onward will be a time of renewal in our land. 

After the Fall

This past Friday night we saw the Arthur Miller play, After the Fall.  It was being performed at an art school which was near to the college where our son attends.  While it wasn't a perfect performance (the sound engineer forgot a couple of cues, the actress portraying a German accent was difficult to understand as were some of the actors in their angry, yelling scenes), the actors were quite good, especially the lead since most of the 2 1/2 hour play is a monologue of streams of consciousness. 

The play has been attributed as a loosely autobiographical portrayal of Miller; his sense of guilt in his relationships, in his political involvements and in his early upbringing.   There was an extreme amount of angst in the 2 1/2 hours.  Frankly, an hour of it would be 60 minutes too much.

The play takes place as a middle-aged lawyer, Quentin, is trying to decide if he has the inclination to love again, this time a German woman he meets while he is touring the German concentration camps. Interspersed throughout these present scenes are his reminiscences of his youth, his parents, his first marriage, his second marriage, and his defense of clients for the McCarthy  trials. 

While the characters did not resonate with me, they did propose some interesting ideas.  One was through the German love interest, Holga.   

"I think it’s a mistake to ever look for hope outside of one’s self. One day the house smells of fresh bread, the next of smoke and blood. One day you faint because the gardener cuts his finger off, within a week you’re climbing over corpses of children bombed in a subway. What hope can there be if that is so? I tried to die near the end of the war. The same dream returned each night until I dared not to go to sleep and grew quite ill. I dreamed I had a child, and even in the dream I saw it was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away. But it always crept onto my lap again, clutched at my clothes. Until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever in it was my own, perhaps I could sleep. And I bent to its broken face, and it was horrible…but I kissed it. I think one must finally take one’s life in one’s arms."  ~ Holga. 

Later in the play, Quentin decides that due to humankind's horror, both the global horror of WWII and the suspicious horror of McCarthyism and the fickle, selfishness of the individual that there really is no hope for mankind.  After the fall, both individually and collectively what is there?   The play ends with just as many questions as when it started.

What a shame and a loss that the character Quentin feels that there is not hope.  For I do believe in hope in this world and not hope like Holga suggests.  Hope is not within us. Yes, we do need to take one's life in one's arms, to be responsible for what we have done and accept our selves, warts and all.  

But I believe, our hope comes from God. How can I, a finite being with limitations provide hope and consistency? Just the question alone of the looking for hope in one's current surroundings is limited and inconsistent since circumstances can change in an instant.  Thank goodness they do. Thank goodness that, because of the fall, there is the realization that I am fallible.  I must look up and towards someone bigger than myself, my surroundings and my situations.

What about you?  Do you feel that there is no hope in your current situation?  Have you ever looked up or looked beyond yourself?  Like Holga, do you question the sudden change in life's circumstances- one day you smell bread baking, the next smoke?  Does that determine your ability to have hope?  Or do you have hope in spite of the changed circumstances? 

If one doesn't have that, I wonder what does one have? Certainly the play bears it out- nothing but questions and angst. 

After the fall, I choose hope. 

Bad News

What do you do when you hear bad news?  Cry?  Stomp your feet?  Give up? Shake your fist at God? Automatically counter with good news? Hide behind busy-ness?  Numb yourself with alcohol or pills? Refuse to listen? Deny that anything is happening? 

Some days it seems as if every where you turn, everyone has bad or sad news. Life is tough and it doesn't get any easier with age. Probably it is statistical in nature- the more years you live, the more people you encounter and the more problems you witness. 

Some days I want to cry out to the universe - "Enough already!  Do we have to have all this sorrow and angst in the world? Can't something good happen spontaneously?"

Generally in those moments I don't get any response. It is for me an exercise to blow off steam and to realize that is just how life is at the moment.  

With every situation of bad news, there can be an analysis: Could something have been prevented?  Was this a case of poor choices?  Did the person not seek help earlier?  The list can go on and on.  Many times, the bottom line is that the situation is horrible.  There was/is nothing that could/should have been done.  And it stinks.

I have also come to the realization that I might question God and wonder what the heck is He doing but ultimately in my soul I know that He is in control.  As much as I may rally against Him at times, I know that He is patiently loving me as I cry out in anguish. 

I think of stories in the Bible when there was horrible news and horrible situations for individuals yet God was right there for His people.  I am sure the moments when Daniel was condemned to the lion's den or his friends to the fiery furnace there was some fist shaking at God from family members.  Or  the story of Joseph being sold into slavery and all the terrible encounters (Potiphar's wife's  accusation and then sitting in jail for years) he had to face. By all accounts Joseph did nothing to cause the problems that occurred in his life.   There may have been a "why me?" thought from Joseph but we never see that.  He recognizes that even though his brothers might have meant harm, God used that situation for good.  Ultimately in all the troubles and trials of the Bible characters, God's plans were accomplished.

While I do find comfort in knowing that God is in control, my heart goes out to those experiencing difficulties.  Words of encouragement for them can be hollow and seemingly pat.  I realize that in my heart I need to pray for them and their situation and pray that my words, if I share them, may be what they need to hear at the time. I know that when I go through tough times it is comfort to have the presence and concern of people who care. 

What about you?  Who can you comfort by your presence and prayerful words?  Are you going through a rough patch?  Is there any way you can view your situation with the lens of perspective?  Or do you need time to just be in your situation and to give yourself permission to cry out to God and tell Him that the situation stinks. Bad news is as it sounds- bad.  But it won't always be that way and that is good news. 

Start Your Week With a Smile

Last week my sister shared with me a video about the "Oldest Hip Hop Dance Troupe in the world".  They are called the Hip Op-eration Crew.  Visit their website. Their story and the story of Billie Jordan their "dance instructor" is inspirational. Click here to hear BIllie's Ted Talk

What I love about the story is that Billie reached beyond herself, her pain, and her loneliness to help others, the aged in her community, who were also feeling lonely, without purpose, and without hope for a future.  Billie believed in these marginalized elderly people and provided an expectation that was missing in their lives. As she says they no longer talk about the past but rather make plans for the future. She has given back to them their dignity and their humanity.  They in turn have given those things back to her. 

The thing is, not only has the common purpose of the troupe been good for their emotional and mental state it is also providing them with physical benefits. Sure there are healthy issues.  The ages range from upper sixties to upper nineties with the average age being eighty. But Billie works with what she has and encourages the troupe to keep striving and doing.  As of 2015, after two years from starting the troupe, she hadn't lost any to death and the consensus from their physicians was that they are all in better shape.  

As they say under their website's beliefs statement, "Even though their age can limit their dancing capabilities, they are all inspired by the founders of hip hop from the Bronx who believed it’s not about limitations, it’s about possibilities. Regardless of their age and physical ability, they are not letting those limitations get in the way of learning hip hop." 
 

Certainly their story is a great reminder that we are never too old to learn and grow.  We are never too old to find purpose and meaning in our lives.  We are never to old to strive for healing and wholeness in body, mind and spirit. We are never to old to encourage and inspire others. We are never too old for possibilities. 

 Click here to see The Crew perform    Watch it and be inspired.  Guaranteed to put a smile on your face.