Faith Shields

But you, O Lord are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

I cried aloud to the Lord, and He answered me from his holy hill.

I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.

Psalm 3

Are you like me? Wondering where this year has gone? In looking back over the things that have happened, I have no point of reference. Was it in April or September that such and such happened? This year has been memorable yet specific dates of incidences are hard to recall. In speaking with others, I hear the same thing- on one hand we are churning over so much in our heads and feeling very agitated, yet we can not release that pent up energy and in fact may feel sluggish. While we have lots of worries about life, the world, and our own personal situations, every day seems to melt into the next without any real change or activity. Sometimes I feel like the psalmist- while I do not have physical enemies around me, I feel that the emotional and spiritual ones are just as dangerous. I can get myself mentally mixed up- annoyed at my lack of motivation or lack of using my time wisely and having no focus or drive. I’ll continue my mental flagellation and start thinking that I am spending time and mental energy on the most mundane things while real issues are happening around me and work myself up into a royal mess. I feel like I am fiddling around while life is burning around me. I find that I am having trouble sleeping. And still, most of the worries and concerns are things that are totally out of my control.

In past blogs I have talked about turning worries into prayers and while I still recommend that practice, I would like to offer up an additional visual: God’s shield of faith protecting and surrounding us when the arrows of self-doubt, despair, or constant worry keep flinging into our beings.

In our Bible study this past week, we talked about a passage in the Bible that describes the metaphorical armor of God as outlined in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. (Ephesians 6: 10-20) One piece of armor that Paul describes is the shield of faith. Having faith defends us from the arrows of doubt that pierce into our souls: doubt about ourselves, the people around us, the world and God’s place in the world. I think David in Psalm 3 was describing that as well. When we have faith, it surrounds us with protection from the naysayers and the mental troublemakers in this world (even perhaps our own nay-saying).

But what was pointed out in our Bible study, we have to pick up the shield. We have to hold it. We have to claim and actually have the faith.

God’s protection with faith is not a force field, it requires some active participation of us. One of the most amazing things about God is that our faith doesn’t have to be huge. We don’t have to proceed through a series of tasks, each getting more difficult before we are rewarded with faith. We just have to believe. Just have faith. Even if we don’t have that much, we can declare like the father who asked Jesus to heal his son, “I believe; help my unbelief”. We can have the faith of a mustard seed. In the ancient world the mustard tree grew quite large but it started out as a tiny pencil point of a seed. The seed image reminds us that our faith can grow. How we start out is not how we will end. We just have to be willing to start, to pick up that shield and to hold fast and believe even as we wonder and question our unbelief.

There are times when I feel that I am holding on to the shield with all my might and other times just loosely holding it. But I do try and pick it up. While I do not understand God- certainly His ways are not my own- I trust and have faith that He is in charge, that things will work out for His purpose, good and glory and that I am privileged to be part of that plan (not designing the plan). While I still get agitated at times and wonder about this world, I can do something about it- pray and trust the shield.

One problem with the pandemic and the imposed isolation is that we are too much in our heads. Sure, we may be interacting with others through virtual meetings, social media and distanced outside venues yet I surmise that many of us spend time just by ourselves or with a very small group of people in our “pod”. While the introvert in me is quite fine with that arrangement, I do recognize that when we are too much in our thoughts there is the tendency to miss perspective and miss truth and to start doubting. We become vulnerable to the slings and arrows of our own mental poison.

The shield was invented by the Greeks to prevent harm from arrows and rocks. At the time that the Paul used a shield as a description, it most likely referred to the classic Roman shield. The interesting thing about the Roman shield was that while it protected an individual, by standing in formation and holding shields above and around the group, all would be protected. With our pandemic isolation I think we may need to reinstate the Roman testudo formation for our own and societal’s mental battles. Yes, we, individually need the shield of faith but I think only through the communal shields of faith can we protect our minds from the onslaught of false information about ourselves and others. We need to commune, to discuss, to even argue over ideas and thoughts in order to defuse the arrows of ignorance and mistrust.

What about you? How’s your mental, emotional, and physical state? Are you both agitated and paralyzed at the same time? How is your faith lately? Small? Large? Non-existence? Has recent events doubted your belief in others? In government? In God? Do you need a shield of faith? Have you ever picked one up? What was that like for you? Do you need the support of others’ shields?

What is encouraging about Psalm 3 is David’s honesty. While things are difficult for him and that he recognizes he is in real danger by picking up the shield of faith, he knows that God’s glory is seen and that God has sustained him. He can endure this difficulty through his faith in the One who hears and cares for him. Even with the trials and tribulations, David gets a good night’s sleep!

So too, we can be encouraged during this time of extreme difficulty that we need to pick up the shield of faith. We might be holding our faith loosely but we are holding it. We might be wondering if this faith thing is worthwhile, but we are willing to give it a go. We might have to continually remind ourselves to let go of our doubts, our worries and our concerns and let our faith in the One who hears us, handle the situation. We might have to reach out to others and join together in sharing our worries, concerns and faith. We might even get a good night’s sleep too!

Good from Suffering?

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening or exactly where it is going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.” Thomas Merton

I found the above quote in a serendipitous way. You know how it goes- you start looking up something online, that leads to something else and then another something else until voila- you find a quote or essay or video that strikes a chord with you. The above quote was found in one such rabbit hole as I was reading a piece of writing from a former acquaintance. Turns out it was the above quote that resonated with her during a faith-questioning time following the initial diagnosis of a debilitating chronic illness.

It has struck me too because of late, friends and family have been bombarded with all sorts of twists, turns and unknowns in their life journeys: unforeseen diagnosis, hospitalizations, existential questions of “Why me?”, “Why bother?”, “What is the point of life?” Questions about what is happening in their lives and where they are headed on this journey.

Last Friday there was a piece on StoryCorps about a women in Leverett, MA who went around town and interviewed various people about their experiences during this pandemic and lockdown. The woman had her own time of unknowns: her daughter had died a couple of months before the pandemic and then she lost her job at the beginning of the pandemic. She found that interviewing others helped her find footing in her life. As she said, “Doing these interviews gave me a sense of purpose and meaning that I badly needed. Just when things seemed so dark, I found some light in the words of the people all around me.”

I was especially taken with her feelings of purpose and meaning. That seems to be the crux in life: we were designed to have purpose and meaning and because we are thinking beings, to recognize it. Most people can endure hardships when there is an understanding of purpose or at least some type of positive outcome/useful experience for others to the hardship. One may not enjoy the difficulty but at least if the hardship serves some kind of purpose and meaning there is some acceptance.

I found an interesting article in a 2018 post on Psychology Today, “Finding purpose in the Face of Tragedy and Adversity”.

“Regardless of whether people believe that “everything happens for a reason” or believe in a higher plan, and regardless of how resilient or vulnerable they are, most are able to derive some meaning in the face of adversity if some good comes from their suffering and misfortune, for themselves or others. And people are often remarkably adept at achieving this. The good that people make from bad usually does not make the bad event “worthwhile,” let alone indicate that the event was cosmically intended, but it can help people deal with their trauma and derive some meaning from it.”*

I also heard an interesting story about the “desk guys”: a father who built desks for his virtual-schooling children and a local business who wanted to do something for the community. The father had made a video demonstrating how he made the school desk for his kids. The video caught the attention of the local store who was willing to provide supplies for desks. The two entities partnered and have been able to help families in the community. From their standpoint, they “just want to help” and the recipients are so grateful because the desks “lift people’s spirits up”. One good deed, encourages the spirit and also motivates more good deeds. The father who was making desks said that one night as he was working in his garage, a man approached him, asked, “Are you the desk man?” and upon the affirmation, the gentleman handed the dad $20 for materials for a desk. A simple act yet the father was even more encouraged. “Good folks are out there.” Even an incident as disrupting as a global pandemic, has positive outcomes where courage, faith, and hope can be embraced.

What about you? How are things going for you? Do you find your life is chaotic, out of control? Is there anything that you have discovered about yourself or others through this time? Have you recognized any challenges or possibilities in the midst of the hardship? Have you found any meaning or purpose? Seen any courage, faith or hope displayed?

In the midst of any chaos, turmoil or suffering in one’s life, there is a way to endure. There is a place to know that whatever one experiences, there is goodness that comes out of difficulties, both large and small. For most individuals, the power of getting through difficulties it just that- getting through. There may not be any big societal or personal change but rather the reward of stick-to-it-ness and found meaning through the sharing and encouragement of one another. It is the small things that keeps us going: the kind note, the smile, the listening, the sharing of time, talents or resources. It is the learning and accepting that hardships will happen and that we cannot control or predict the future. Our task is to be present in the moment and to act accordingly- to find the challenges and opportunities as well as to be witness to the hardship. Sometimes that is for ourselves. Other times it is the opportunity to bear witness of another’s hardship. Either way it is an opportunity to rise about the hardship with courage, faith, and hope. At least that is my prayer when I experience difficulties. May it be yours too.

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*https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-purpose/201811/finding-purpose-in-the-face-tragedy-and-adversity

Climbing Stairs

Twice now in the last week, while I was walking up the basement steps carrying the laundry basket I experienced an odd sensation of not knowing where the next step was located. The basket had occluded my vision and so as I stepped up I was not really seeing where I was going. I just stepped where I thought was the next step. Even though I had enough lighting to see where I was going, I still couldn’t quite see the path.

It made me think of our walking through this pandemic. While we may carry on the best way we know how, there are still obstacles that prevent us from knowing if where we once trod is still the right footing. We go through the motions but our vision and our footing has shifted- Our understanding of staying healthy has changed. Our gathering space is different. Our priorities are rearranged. Our time lines and schedules are obsolete.

I am thinking of how the pandemic has shifted my focus. Things about which I used to be concerned have no place in my mind’s eye now. For that I am grateful. I realized how much time and energy I have spent on mundane and shallow thoughts. When I start fretting about insignificant ideas, I remind myself that in the long run, in light of the pandemic life/death scenario, these thoughts are not worth the time.

The pandemic has underscored my need to be following God in faith. No one and nothing else can guide me safely along.

I find that I have to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5: 7). I have to trust God in and with my future plans and I have to learn (and relearn) what God’s path is for me. Circumstances may obscure my vision but I have to trust God where I place my next step. As many times as I may say this- I still have to remind myself daily to trust God.

The thing about stepping in faith is that the more we do it, the easier it becomes. I couldn’t tell you how many times I have walked up and down our basement steps in the twenty five years we have lived in our home. Yet, I am familiar with each step- each creak, worn wood, height from one to another. While I wouldn’t intentionally do it, I could blindly walk up and down them as they are so familiar.

What about you? Have you ever been limited by what you have seen and not seen? What was that experience like? What did you learn from it? How are you walking by faith? Stumbling? Sure-footed?

Day 7: Words and Pictures: Faith

Faith. What is faith? Do you have it? What does your faith look like? Is your faith in the government? Faith in health care? Faith in science? Faith in God? Faith in your fellow human? Faith in yourself? Is it growing? Is it faltering?

Faith’s definition: “1) complete trust or confidence in someone or something. 2) strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.” It comes from Anglo-French feid, from Latin fidēs: trust, confidence.

Faith seems to be a state of mind rather than a position of action. I can have faith that the chair will hold me up but not until I sit in it and physically experience that it will not collapse under my weight, can I be sure and have complete confidence.

With all that we, both individually and as a people, have experienced thus far of the corona virus is a test of our faith. Do we have complete confidence in someone or something? Do we base our faith on spiritual apprehension- understanding or grasp- rather than proof?

Some days I feel that I have the strength to carry the world and at other times, I don’t have enough faith to get out of bed. Where I draw comfort is through the words of Jesus- he reminds his followers that all we need is faith the size of a mustard seed. When asked by his disciples, to increase their faith, the Lord answered, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.” [Luke 17: 5,6]

A mustard seed is quite small. It is hard to believe that it would amount to anything, yet the mustard tree can grow to about 20 feet. It can germinate quickly. And it has so many properties- can be used for medicine, food, tools, etc. All of those analogies comfort me. They remind me that I do not have to begin on a faith journey with large expectations or plans- wondering about the overall goal or specific plans. I do not even have to worry about the growing conditions. I just have to be willing to put my small seed of faith into the fertile soil of the master gardner.

For me having faith is not so much in an idea or object or human but rather in a being- the divine. If I put whatever size faith I have into the one who has created the world, ideas, objects, people, then I can be assured that it will not be shaken.

And while trust is the action to the idea of faith, faith has to come first. Sometimes we have faith because we have seen the faith of others. Sometimes we have faith because we remember the past and the way things have worked out. And sometimes, we just have to jump right in. The “leap of faith”. There isn’t time to verify. Sometimes there is no rational explanation but just like falling in love, you know that without a shadow of doubt, He is worthy of our

In these times of crisis, I need to remember that all it takes is having faith as small as a mustard seed to get through it.

What about you? How is your faith? Needing to be cultivated? Growing? Spreading?

Tonight my Jewish friends will be celebrating Passover. A time of remembrance of the faithfulness of God.

It is I

Do you ever feel afraid?  Not just butterflies in the stomach or things going bump in the night afraid, but afraid of the future or of things that might happen?  How will bills get paid?  What if my beloved dies?  What if I have to spend more time and money than I have on parents, children, or family?  Will my children grow up safe?  Will I get sick or disabled?  What if I lose my job? How will I manage all the stress on my time?

Some days the worries and concerns keep piling up. It seems as if life's demands are like an never ending leaky faucet:  Drip.  Drip. Drip.  And there appears to be no way to turn off  the demands.

The other week I was feeling that drippiness of life.  It just seemed like a never ending stream of:  "Can you do this...?  Can you pick up...? I need such and such... Would you mind doing... Would you be available?  

As it happens so many times in the past, as I read my daily Bible reading, the verses for that specific day spoke to those issues on my heart.  I was reading the story of Jesus walking on water (John 6: 16-20). As the story goes the disciples were out on a boat, traveling across the sea to get to the other side.  They had just come from participating and witnessing the feeding of the five thousand.  They must've been exhausted.  Can you imagine anything worse than thousands of hungry people and not any quantity of food around?  Sure, they witnessed and were part of a multiplication miracle but prior to that occurring, the atmosphere must have been incredibly stressful.

So, off they go on a boat and Jesus is no where to be seen.  Were they worried that something had happened to him?  Were they worried that something would happen to them?   As they were rowing the seas got rough and the wind started blowing.  It is interesting that these seasoned fishermen would be scared and worried about a familiar situation.   But how many times have I, under unfavorable conditions been worried and anxious for no apparent reason.  Things that normally wouldn't affect me at all, can become major issues when I am tired, hungry, angry or stressed.

It is in that stressful and worrisome time that the disciples spy someone, an apparition coming towards them across the water.   Jesus speaks to them first, "It is I.  Do not be afraid."  In my Bible translation it suggests that the phrase, "It is I" is deliberately chosen.  "It is I" harkens back to when Moses encounters God at the burning bush.  "I am who I am".   That phrase should remind them that God is the one who was, who is and who will always be.  He has provided and protected them in the past and will do so in their future. They need not have any worries or anxieties.  He is with them and will safely take them ashore.

I need that reminder today.  Jesus tells you and tells me, "It is I. Do not be afraid" every time we feel that life's stressors are getting the best of us.  He tells us that when we are worried about our future and its seemingly non-ending drippiness of stress.  And he tells us that when we need to get to where we are going.

Jesus' walking on water was miraculous and memorable.  The action of His walking and defying natural law showed Him to be divine. He doesn't need special transport to go across the water. He can just move as He wills.  And yet, even in His splendor of His divinity He was interested in calming the fears of His subjects.  Once Jesus enters the boat, the seas calm and all is restored. The disciples didn't need to be afraid because He is who He is and He cares for each one of them.

You and I do not have to be afraid, worried or anxious.  We have access to the Divine who will get into our boats, love us where we are, eliminate all our fears and take us safely to shore. 

What about you?  Are you worried and anxious about much?  Do you need to witness a walking on water miracle before you can trust the One who calms the seas? When things are tough, remember "It is I". Remember the One who walks on water yet also gets into the boat with us so that we are no longer afraid. 

Leap Year

There seems to be flowers for other holidays, so I purchased a small bouquet for my desk.  What is recommended  for Leap Year?

Happy Leap Year! When I was a kid it seemed as if leap year was one of those notations on the calendar that was recognized and was talked about, not as anything special but rather an interesting footnote, kind of like Lincoln's Birthday.  The biggest concern was "What would you do if you had a birthday on leap year?  When did you celebrate?  More importantly, when did you get presents?"

Leap year was designed to keep the calendar year synchronized with the astronomical or seasonal year. Since seasons and astronomical events don't repeat in whole number days, in order to keep whole days in a calendar, an extra day is inserted every four years to keep things on track.  According to Wikipedia, "The same type of problem happens in the relationship between the day and the number of seconds in the day: If you divide the larger measure of time by the smaller, you do not get a whole number. Instead, the result is an unending decimal".  To prevent the calendar drift of half days, leap year was invented.  The "leap" comes from the fact that while a fixed date in the Gregorian calendar advances one day a week from one year to the next, in the following year of a leap year, the fixed date "leaps" over a day of the week.  For example, February 1 , 2013 fell on a Friday. The next year, 2014 it fell on a Saturday, then in 2015 it fell on a Sunday. In 2016 it fell on a Monday. Because 2016 is a "leap year"  February 1, 2017  will "leap" over Tuesday and will fall on Wednesday. 

The idea of leaping got me thinking.  What types of idioms  (or expressions) do you know which have leap in them? Here are some that I found:

"leap at a chance",  "leaps and bounds", "leap into someone's mind", "leap to conclusions", "leap at someone or something", "leap for joy", "leap forward", "leap out (of something)", "leap over", "look before you leap", "leap in the dark".

The one that I love is "leap of faith".  Two of the definitions of leap are to "propel one forward" and "to enter eagerly into an activity".  The idea that I am eagerly willing to enter into the activity that requires me to have some faith and that will propel me forward is encouraging and exciting. 

By nature I am not a risk taker.  I am a plodder and planner.  I have enough trouble leaping from rock to rock when traversing a small stream on a hike let alone leaping out on faith into a vast unknown of all the "biggies" in life- job opportunities, where to live, moving, marriage decisions, financial responsibilities of college and retirement.  Yet because they are the "biggies" I came to the conclusion long ago that there was nothing I could do to control them.  I had to have faith in something/someone bigger than myself and to believe that God's plan for me was much better than the limited one that I could foresee.  

As it is leap year, I am reminded of the times when big circumstances required me to make a leap of faith. Many times it was hard, kind of walking out onto a ledge and not seeing what is ahead or underneath you.  But I can honestly say that when I completely trusted God, I was never disappointed.  When I listened to His leading, my feet were on solid ground. 

But I am wondering if I am making the small, daily  leaps of faith?  Am I trusting God with the smaller things in my life as I trust him with the biggies?  If not, why not?  Certainly his track record is excellent.  Can I make that leap of faith that today, I am being propelled forward into an eagerly awaited activity?  Am I looking at my day with the expectation of faith- that what I am being called to do today, could be as mundane as walking the dogs, excites me because of the possibilities that await me?  Am I open to possibilities? 

 Do I trust God enough that whatever and wherever He calls me, He is faithful to provide me with what I need for the journey?   

What about you?  Have you ever had to make a leap of faith?  How did it work out?  

One thing I have noticed with my physical, rock leaping "skill" on hikes- the more I do it, the more sure-footed I become. I have noticed that the more I make those spiritual leaps of faith, the more eager I become to see what awaits me and what is on the other side.