All I Need to Know... I Learned From My Dogs.

Professor Marley

Lately it occurred to me that I have been struggling against life.  Not one particular strife but life in general and not a huge struggle but large enough to prevent me from doing what I need to do.  I can get myself all tangled up in thoughts:  Why do I get so overworked over something that in the long run doesn't  mean anything?  And then I get worked up for getting worked up.  Why can I not be content?  Why do I waste time by wasting my time worrying and kvetching over things I cannot control?  I feel like a protagonist in a Woody Allen movies - so much angst and mental turmoil over nothing.  

As is many things, I learn about life through the life of our dogs. I see how our dogs behave and I realize that I am doing the same in a human way. 

They loathe getting a bath, especially Marley. If he sees his littermate being carted down stairs, collar taken off and hears the water running, he will hide behind the nearest chair.   Something that should only take a few minutes (they are small dogs after all) can be extended for seemingly hours and can result in water going everywhere.  Once he gets "caught" from his hiding place, he squirms, tries to get out of the stationary tub, and in general makes it very difficult with his struggling.  If he would just relax and let me give him the bath, the process would be so much easier and I think he would even find it enjoyable.

Looking back on the meandering path of my life choices, I see all the times that I tried running away and hiding or struggled in my situation. Some times I seemed to have control over my path's direction and other times I found myself on a path not of my choosing. Sometimes my response to life's choices  was influenced by the calm or frenetic response of others while other times I felt that I couldn't help myself in my response.  Either way, it is my choice on how I respond. I may not have control over the direction but I do have control on how I travel in that direction. 

Lately I just felt a sense of peace, calm and understanding. I can relate to the Hebrew wisdom, "Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad."  When I feel the anxiety bubbling up and taking over, I think of Jesus' words, "...do not be anxious about your life."  In fact Jesus has a fair amount to say about anxiety/ worry and it involves all aspects of our lives: our physical possessions and our emotional/spiritual well-being.  

I realized that it is all about relaxing and not struggling with the hand that is dealt us.  It is such a waste of time.  I think of how many lessons that I had to revisit because I wasn't listening or understanding due to my squirming and whining, "Why is this happening?  It is not fair."  "Why? Why? Why?" It seemed that all my wrestling with God involved "not getting what I think I deserve".  Thank goodness for God's mercy and that I  do not get what I deserve.  Jesus reminds us that all we need to do is seek the Kingdom of God and everything else will fall into place. 

Looking back I realize so many times I just didn't get it.   At the time, the things that caused me to be all hot and bothered have not been significant at all.  They are just distant and fleeting thoughts.  I am painfully aware of this when I meet extended family members or distant friends.  They might ask me how is so and so or how is the situation?  I have to furrow my brow and think back, "What are they talking about?"  Situations that, at the time, seemed so important are relegated to the recesses of my mind. 

What about you?  Do you worry over your worry?  Is your life filled with angst?  Looking back, what were some of your concerns- 10 years ago?  5 years ago?  1 year ago?  Do you remember what it was?  What can you do to be content?  What are you seeking? 

I pray that I am entering a new stage.  A stage where I can just relax and enjoy where I am, what I am doing and with whom.  I am actively trying to be present for all that I am doing. Which is what Jesus is saying with His wisdom in Matthew 6. 

 All the angst, all the worry and the extra worry of the original worry have done nothing in helping me achieve any goals.  It just prolongs the agony and makes a huge mess. 

Just like Marley's bath. 

Time Perspective

We are heading out for vacation soon. In preparing for our trip, I have been thinking about what I need to do before hand and what I will do when I get back.  It occurred to me that all, about which I have been thinking and have been worrying is so short sighted.  Probably when we return things will naturally resolve and  I will not be so intense about my situation and my current concerns. 

I met with some friends the other week.  They have younger children than we do.  Hearing their concerns about schools, sports clubs and eventually college brought me back to the time when I worried about those same things.  I wonder, at the time, how much time and energy did I devote to thinking about those things when in reality, most of my mental gymnastics did nothing to change the outcomes.  I just  aggravated my family as well as myself.   You would think given all the attention and time to those worries that I would carry those memories in my heart. The thing is, I completely forgot about those feelings of anxiety and overwhelming consternation until I spoke with our friends.  Obviously it wasn't too great a concern if I cannot remember much about it.  

In cleaning out my father's house I came across pictures and memorabilia that returned me to the time when those depicted scenarios took place.  I can almost hear the conversations around the kitchen table or on the beach blanket.   Again, I think of the mental gymnastics we performed as a family as we discussed (ad nauseam), decided, revisited, discussed some more a problem or situation one of the family members was having.  I am sure that if we currently asked the highlighted family member about that situation they would say, "What?  Oh yeah.  I remember that now.  Funny how I had forgotten.  I don't know what was such a big deal." 

I do think that time does provide great perspective. Unfortunately I wish that I would remember that when I am in the middle of a situation or problem.  I wonder how many cycles of worry, problem, worry, intense worry, thinking of problem all the time, problem resolved, problem forgotten that I need to experience before I cut out the worry stages.  I guess all I can do is try to remember that things do have a way of working out regardless (and most probably in spite of) of our fretting and fussing.  Sure it is good to plan and be proactive in situations but the ruminating of past events and worrying over hypothetical scenarios does nothing. 

What about you?  Are you in the middle of a worry, problem or concern?  What do you do to help resolve the issue?  Talk to others about it? Revisit and replay the scene, dialogue or situation over and over again? How can you gain some perspective?  Can you "go on vacation"  from the problem?  

It may take some time but my concerns today are not at all my concerns from yesterday. So too, I know that my concerns for tomorrow will not be what they are today.  

And that is a good thing. 

Maybe if I remember that concerns come and go I won't be too anxious while they are here. 

It is I

Do you ever feel afraid?  Not just butterflies in the stomach or things going bump in the night afraid, but afraid of the future or of things that might happen?  How will bills get paid?  What if my beloved dies?  What if I have to spend more time and money than I have on parents, children, or family?  Will my children grow up safe?  Will I get sick or disabled?  What if I lose my job? How will I manage all the stress on my time?

Some days the worries and concerns keep piling up. It seems as if life's demands are like an never ending leaky faucet:  Drip.  Drip. Drip.  And there appears to be no way to turn off  the demands.

The other week I was feeling that drippiness of life.  It just seemed like a never ending stream of:  "Can you do this...?  Can you pick up...? I need such and such... Would you mind doing... Would you be available?  

As it happens so many times in the past, as I read my daily Bible reading, the verses for that specific day spoke to those issues on my heart.  I was reading the story of Jesus walking on water (John 6: 16-20). As the story goes the disciples were out on a boat, traveling across the sea to get to the other side.  They had just come from participating and witnessing the feeding of the five thousand.  They must've been exhausted.  Can you imagine anything worse than thousands of hungry people and not any quantity of food around?  Sure, they witnessed and were part of a multiplication miracle but prior to that occurring, the atmosphere must have been incredibly stressful.

So, off they go on a boat and Jesus is no where to be seen.  Were they worried that something had happened to him?  Were they worried that something would happen to them?   As they were rowing the seas got rough and the wind started blowing.  It is interesting that these seasoned fishermen would be scared and worried about a familiar situation.   But how many times have I, under unfavorable conditions been worried and anxious for no apparent reason.  Things that normally wouldn't affect me at all, can become major issues when I am tired, hungry, angry or stressed.

It is in that stressful and worrisome time that the disciples spy someone, an apparition coming towards them across the water.   Jesus speaks to them first, "It is I.  Do not be afraid."  In my Bible translation it suggests that the phrase, "It is I" is deliberately chosen.  "It is I" harkens back to when Moses encounters God at the burning bush.  "I am who I am".   That phrase should remind them that God is the one who was, who is and who will always be.  He has provided and protected them in the past and will do so in their future. They need not have any worries or anxieties.  He is with them and will safely take them ashore.

I need that reminder today.  Jesus tells you and tells me, "It is I. Do not be afraid" every time we feel that life's stressors are getting the best of us.  He tells us that when we are worried about our future and its seemingly non-ending drippiness of stress.  And he tells us that when we need to get to where we are going.

Jesus' walking on water was miraculous and memorable.  The action of His walking and defying natural law showed Him to be divine. He doesn't need special transport to go across the water. He can just move as He wills.  And yet, even in His splendor of His divinity He was interested in calming the fears of His subjects.  Once Jesus enters the boat, the seas calm and all is restored. The disciples didn't need to be afraid because He is who He is and He cares for each one of them.

You and I do not have to be afraid, worried or anxious.  We have access to the Divine who will get into our boats, love us where we are, eliminate all our fears and take us safely to shore. 

What about you?  Are you worried and anxious about much?  Do you need to witness a walking on water miracle before you can trust the One who calms the seas? When things are tough, remember "It is I". Remember the One who walks on water yet also gets into the boat with us so that we are no longer afraid.