Quotes

As I have posted before, I love quotes.  I love the turn of a phrase and the order of words. In one of my forays at a library book sale I purchased a small volume, "The Change-Your-Life Quote Book" compiled by Allen Klein.   Below are some of the ones that stood out to me:

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right."  ~Henry Ford

"To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have."  ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

"Count your blessings, not your crosses,  Count your gains, not your losses.  Count your joys instead of your woes, Count your friends instead of your foes.  Count your health, not your wealth."  ~Old Proverb

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."  ~ Mark Twain

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." ~ John Wooden

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."  ~Wayne Gretzky

"You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now.  How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged.  Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime."  ~ Dale Carnegie

What words of encouragement or appreciation can you bestow on someone today? 

Tidying Up

 l love the word tidying. It sounds so cute, so benign, so Goldilocks-ish.  It is a word that explains what you want to accomplish and how you go about it.  It evokes an activity that is not too strenuous nor too ineffective.  It is just right. 

There was a very interesting article in The New York Times Magazine about the author, Marie Kondo and her book, "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up".   Seems that Ms. Kondo has quite a following of people who swear by her methods.  Her whole premise is that the items in your household and eventually in one's life should bring you joy. 

Like so many ideas that abound, this is nothing new.  As I have posted before, the 18th Century English textile designer William Morris felt that one should have only beautiful and useful items in one's home.  Basically, only have things which bring you joy.   It makes sense that in order to appreciate those beautiful and useful things you have to be able to see and find them.  In essence, have a neat and tidy place.  But as with all things that seem simple, it is very hard to achieve. 

There are a myriad of books on the market about getting organized. There are a ton of organizational tools and systems. They all are a means to the end- getting rid of items in your life that take up valuable space, time and resources. What isn't necessarily mentioned in any of these processes is that in order to get rid of anything you have to sacrifice it.  You have to make a choice to remove the said item from your midst. I think there is the rub.  We cling to our things. We want it all. Even if something is not useful or beneficial we still want it around, "just in case." 

It is not only physical items.  We hold on to emotional baggage and mental images that only clutter our lives. For nothing less than to show that we have/had something-an emotional draining relationship, a self-pity party or a poorly acted upon decision.  It is almost as if we have to tightly grasp these situations to prove that we exist.   Even if it was/is harmful to our psyche, it was/is something nonetheless. 

I know for me, it is until things get to the point that I cannot stand the clutter that I will then be ruthless.  It is then that I say, "this needs to go".  Of course, everyone in our household has a different tolerance point of when things need to go and there too can be the rub. 

That's why I like the word tidy.  It seems doable.  I can work on the emotional, relational, and physical stuff that is cluttering my life. I don't have to do it all in one day.  Tidying seems to be a word that is done in smaller increments. I think, "I can talk to that person and straighten out one of our issues."  "I can let go and remove the worry scenario replaying in my mind." "I can tidy my office today and start on the corner of my basement tomorrow."

What about you?  Do you have a tidy life?  What do you do when things get messy? Does the clutter bother you?  At what point do you say, "this needs to go"?  Do you even notice clutter in your life? What is your method for tidying up?   

Taylor Swift- We Need a Hero

Confession time.  I have been interested. Nope, let's be honest, I have been obsessed with the Taylor Swift/Tom Hiddleston romance that has unfolded over the internet this summer.  Not only the romance, but also the publicity war over lyrics to a song by Kanye West.  Who knows what is the exact truth to any of the "reports" (mostly made up stories) on the internet.

But what has struck me is the passion with which people write or comment about this woman and her personal and professional life.  One would think that those who are commenting had personally been affected by the star's behavior. Granted, we are in an age and she is of the age when self-disclosure and self-promotion are the norm.  It is very rare when people do their jobs quietly without a tweet, Instagram posting or snapchat. I am learning that in just doing this blog and writing in general, it is expected that I self-promote. As an editor pointed out to me, we are in the age of social media. Social network means having to be social- one has to disclose and share.

But there seems to be a yearning for someone to arise from the smoldering ashes of our volatile society. Someone who seems above the fray.  Someone who doesn't stoop to another's level, who behaves in a decent way and who is humble.  Almost by definition, the person who behaves in that matter is not going to be splashed all over the internet.  Short of that, we want someone who portrays the qualities of niceness, goodness, and honesty, but also who is strong, smart and looks pleasing to the eye.  In essence, we are looking for a hero.

The thing is when we look for a human hero, we are greatly disappointed.  

Perfect as someone might try to be eventually they will fail. The higher we place someone on a pedestal the farther they fall.  The taller someone sits on his high horse, the greater the distance to the ground.  We become disenchanted so quickly. When someone doesn't behave in the manner we think their persona should do, or doesn't do, say or give us the thing that we want, we are quick to label, name call and vilify those that "hurt" us.  Seems silly when most of the time we don't even know the person. 

We do this all the time with celebrities and politicians. I think we also do it in a lesser degree with our own personal interactions. Generally it is with people we only know superficially and so we go by what we see- the neighbor with the beautifully maintained yard, the immaculately dressed and always prepared co-worker, the smiling parents on the soccer sidelines or the "everything is fine" parishioner .  We go through the mental exercises of thinking so and so is perfect, "everything always works out for them", and when we hear or see a crack in their perfect veneer we are quick to help widen that crack through our words, "I am not surprised that they had trouble with (fill in the blank) ...", or with our thoughts, "I might have my issues but at least I don't have (fill in the blank) ....".  We place that person in a ladder comparison game with us pushing the other down the rungs while trying to move up by our own smugness.  Ultimately it is a game in which no one wins since the ladder isn't stable to begin with. 

The only way to stop the comparisons, to remove the pedestals and to stable the high horse is to replace it with grace and mercy. Ironically our "hero worshipping" should prove to us that people will let us down, that we cannot assume anyone is perfect and that we need to dispense grace to others just like we need grace. Every online story about a celebrity  should remind us that we too have our own issues. 

We all have fallen short of where we need to be in God's eyes.  And there is nothing we can do about it. We cannot do enough good works, rule following or perfect behavior. Yet in the compassionate nature of God, He has provided a way that we can be right in His eyes. We can do the simple act of believing that there is a true hero, a savior who walked among us and who rescued us from not only original sin but from our judgmental, hypocritical, individually sinful selves.  When we place our trust and faith in Him we will never be disappointed. 

What about you?  Who is your hero?   Have you ever been enamored by someone you only to discover they were not what you thought?  Have you ever been disappointed by the behavior of others? Have you ever been disappointed by your own behavior?  Do you need to dispense grace to others?  To yourself? Do you need The Hero in your life? 

 

Restful Reflections

I am looking forward to our vacation this year.  We have the privilege to go away to our beloved Cape Cod.  And I do recognize that it is a privilege.  Not everyone gets to go on a vacation. 

The thing that I love about going away is the preparation and anticipation of a time when things are not part of our normal routine.  We have time to sleep in, to have uninterrupted conversations, to spend time as a family, to have time to think and to dream. 

The only thing is that in my preparation I almost always overestimate the amount of time we have away.  Just like I overestimate a room's dimensions in my mind's eye especially in planning furniture arrangement, I think that we will have loads of time to bike, play tennis, go to the beach, kayak, canoe, stroll down town, attend a local play, go out to dinner, watch the stars on our lovely deck, sightsee in Boston or a neighboring town, visit one of the Islands, read the dozen or so packed books, mentally prepare for the fall and its activities.  Phew! Just listing all the things that I think we might accomplish is exhausting and goes to show that I need a restful vacation with no agenda.  

So, I have decided to just let the vacation unfold as it will.  Sure, we have our bags packed with our books, tennis rackets, bike and beach gear but there is no pressure if we don't use all of it.  I am giving myself permission to have a complete break if I want. The important thing is that I am going to try and be mindful and enjoy each moment. 

While the preparation and anticipation is fun for me, the real joy comes with the actuality of the life lived focused on the present.  

What about you?  Do you have vacation plans this year?  What types of vacation do you take?  Are you good at just chilling out or do you have a hard time turning off the "to do" list?  How can you focus on the present, whether that is during a vacation or your normal week? 

The Smallest Thing

Yesterday as I was mowing the lawn I came to an impasse.  Try as I might I could not get the mower to move forward and the blades to turn.  

We belong to the small subset of home owners who choose to use a push mower for cutting their lawn.  It is true that a gasoline powered mower does cut the grass with a cleaner look. Since we don't subscribe to the weedless, movie set green grass lawn, the push mower is fine.  Using the mower gives us a nice little workout, doesn't emit any carbon and it tucks in nicely into a corner of our shed.   

As I was trying to push the mower forward I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was holding it up.  I stopped, looked over the blade, tried turning it the other direction but to no avail.  It was only when I turned the mower on its side did I notice a small piece of mulch wedged between one of the blades and the safety cross piece on the bottom.  That little dickens of wood was holding up all the blades from turning.

Had me wondering what little things in my life impede me from moving forward?  Are there small habits, seemingly harmless friendships or activities that are keeping me in a stand still?  Are there well intended activities that are just in the wrong context or wrong timing? Are they items that I don't even notice but just wonder why I can't move on? 

Mulch is a good thing.  It helps with water retention, weed control and overall makes a garden seemed finished.  It is just that when it is not in its proper place in the garden bed but instead is on the lawn then there is potential for just what happened; it gets tossed up in the blades and can jam the mower. 

Lately I have been wondering why I cannot move forward with a certain writing project.  In the past I was moving along with great speed but now I feel that every turn, every movement and every attempt to push along with it is met with resistance.  I need to remind myself to stop, assess what is impeding my process, remove the obstacle and continue along. 

What about you?  Do you find yourself not being able to move forward in a situation? Is there something preventing you from just beginning? Or have you come to a complete stop in the middle?  Have you checked it from all sides- does the impediment come from you or an outside source?  Is it something that you can remove?  Is it something that you need to avoid? 

Sometimes the smallest thing can be the biggest blockage to accomplishment. 

 

Sensitive Eyes

A while back I was in the eye doctor's office and I overheard another waiting patient say, " I can't look at that.  I have sensitive eyes."

Under my breath I did one of those guffaws.  You know the type when something you heard strikes you as funny.  Generally it is not funny to the person who said it.  In this case, the speaker must have heard my snort and looked over at me with a glare. 

I know the person was saying it in context of physically looking at something- like a bright light but I took it to mean more like a sensitive soul. I was imagining a bad theater production where the speaker would gesture with a hand thrust forward like stopping a car, "Oh no" she would declare, shaking her head and tossing behind her in a gesture of resisting temptation, " I couldn't possibly look at that.  I have sensitive eyes." 

In that context what would constitute sensitive eyes?  Things that harm our soul?  Pictures of violence, hatred, discord? Pictures of broken bones, shattered lives, crippled limbs?  Should we close our eyes to that or should we be outraged? 

I think of sensitive eyes as being in tune and watchful.  If I have sensitive eyes do I look upon others with compassion?  With understanding?  With love?  Do the upsetting things spur me to take action?  Can I see the good among the bad?  

May God give me sensitive eyes.  

What about you?  What type of eyes do you have? 

 

What's For Dinner?

Do those three words mean anything to you?  Are you the primary cook/meal planner in your family?  In our household, the role of cooking falls mainly to me.  All of the men in the household are good cooks and do cook occasionally.  It just is more efficient and suits my skill set better for me to be the main planner.  

Yet those words strike panic and anxiety in my belly.  If I haven't planned anything for the evening meal by the time dinner comes around I have to fight with myself to choose the best option for fixing something healthy and budget friendly.   If left to my own devices I either want to:

a) grab some snacky type of things e.g. crackers and cheese Which is not a healthy choice in the long run.

b) order something out- some days it doesn't matter what it is, just so long as I don't have to fix it Which is not a smart financial choice.

c) not eat at all.  Which is not an option when modeling good habits to your family or when the others in the household have Hummingbird metabolisms (As an aside, Hummingbirds can eat 1.5-3 times their body weight a day.)  

While I love to cook and I love to try new recipes, I find that the day in and day out of shopping, cooking and eating sometimes gets to be a chore. I am a DIY type of gal but if I ever win the lottery (which technically I can't because I don't gamble) I would hire a chef. 

Short of that, sometimes I need some new recipes and ideas for dinner. I find that especially so in the summer when I don't want to heat up the kitchen, chow down with anything too heavy or have to take too long in the preparation department. Seems like this summer we are dining "continental" more days than not as we are trying to make use of the daylight and are playing a lot of evening tennis.

Try as I might, I am having a hard time planning my menus this summer.  I decided to give myself permission this season not to stress too much about it.  I find that I might use some "prepared" food from the grocery store to help simplify the process.  I can add rotisserie chicken to salads, pita bread, pasta or eat it solo. 

Click here for some recipe ideas.  Or here.

I find that just looking at different websites I can get some great ideas.  I might not follow the recipe exactly (or as my son will say, I never follow the recipe exactly)  but I try to use up what is in my fridge, pantry or veggies from the garden.

Our one default recipe is to saute whatever veg and herb we have in the crisper,( e.g. zucchini, tomatoes, squash, corn, onion, garlic), add some beans (e.g. garbanzo or cannellini beans), feta cheese and top with grated parmesan and fresh basil and serve over pasta. (to add a little "moisture" I'll reserve some of the pasta liquid, or use chicken stock or olive oil to put over the pasta and veggies.   I'll cut up a fruit salad (whatever we have on hand- peaches, strawberries, blueberries, honeydew, watermelon) and may or may not serve with bread. 

What about you?  Are you a grill master?  Do you love summer time cooking? Do you get anxious about meal preparations?  What is one of your favorite recipes?  What are some of your default options when you don't want to cook?  

What's for dinner at your house?  

WE ARE All .... HERE

This past week I spent the day in New York with our one son. We had a fun day poking around in consignment shops, bookstores and areas in the city where we hadn't spent much time before. Walking down one of the streets there was a large sign affixed to a church wall.  It read "We are Orlando." 

The sign made me think of a story I had recently read about Master Sgt. Roddie Edmonds. Master Sgt. Edmonds was a non-commissioned officer in the US Army during WWII.   He and his men were in the Battle of the Bulge and were taken prisoners.  At one of the Stalags, the prisoners were told that the Jewish POWs were to fall out to be counted.  When the time came, all 1,275  prisoners stood together in formation.  As the highest ranking officer in the camp, Master Sgt. Edmonds was the one in front.  The commandant was furious. He came over to Edmonds and yelled at him, "You can't all be Jews."  Edmonds looked at him and said, "We are all Jews here."  The commandant took his gun, pointed at Edmonds' head and demanded that Edmonds tell him who were the Jews or he would shoot Edmonds.  Edmonds replied, "According to the Geneva Convention, we are only required to give our name, rank and serial number.  If you shoot me, you will have to shoot all of us and when we win this war, you will be tried for war crimes." (Read more about his story)

His son knew his father had a harrowing war experience but never knew the entire story.  It was only after his dad's death, going through old diaries that he started putting the pieces together. He discovered his dad's name referenced in a New York Times article about Richard Nixon trying to buy an apartment in New York after he had resigned and left office.  The article spoke of Lester Tanner, a lifelong Democrat who in hearing about Nixon's predicament, sold him his Manhattan townhouse.  Even though Mr. Tanner did not share Nixon's political beliefs, Tanner believed that a person should not be blackballed like that.  

Mr. Tanner had served in the Army with Master Sgt. Edmonds and had witnessed Edmonds' bravery. Because of it, Mr. Tanner said that he decided that for the rest of his life he would always do the right thing. 

In the wake of the horrible tragedies of Baton Rouge, Orlando, Nice, Dallas (the list seems to go on and on) I wonder if we can remember that we are all humans here. By the grace of God go all of us. At any one moment, a certain group can be singled out. Isn't that what those who are intent on doing harm want to do? Cull the group? Pick on the most vulnerable?  Force each other to turn on one another? 

We need to stand shoulder to shoulder against the forces of evil, prejudice, and hate.  We need to decide to do the right thing and not allow this divisiveness to wedge and split our society.  We need to be wiling to speak out when injustice occurs. We need to be willing to work together with those with whom we disagree. We need to be willing to listen to one another. We need to have the courage to say to those who are intent on harm, this is the wrong way to go about getting your point across. We need to have the mindset of Master Sgt, Edmonds that we are all one here. 

I have never been in a life or death situation where my beliefs have been called into question.  I pray that if I ever did I would do the right thing.  But every day I do have the choice whether I will treat the person who doesn't look, speak or think like I do, with respect, dignity and love. 

What about you?  What choices do you have to make? 

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing". ~Edmund Burke

 

Nipping the Buds

Pokeberries.  Seems as if I have a cash crop of the plant this year.  Every where I turn in the garden I see the little seedlings poking their heads up.  I cannot even tell you the number of small plants I have pulled thus far. 

The sad thing is I know that I haven't gotten nearly all of them.  Before I know it, the plant will be so developed that it will have a tap root that makes it almost impossible to pull.  Once established if I try to pull a plant out,  I have to wade into the garden, squat down directly over the plant, place both hands, one over top of the other near the base of the root and pull with all my might.  Generally it results with me rocking and then falling backwards on my bottom with a broken off base and the root in terra firma.   I can't even disturb the dirt. 

If I pull the pokeberries when the leaves are small, I can lean into the garden and over the plant. I don't even have to be that close.  Sometimes if I spot a plant in the back of the garden I will have to lean in so far that I am balancing on one leg while keeping the other outstretched behind me (imagine a very clumsy ballerina dressed in mud stained khakis, bleached splattered t-shirt and green wellies) In using one hand, I will grab hold of the plant from the top and gently pull.  The plant plus roots comes cleanly and smoothly out of the ground. Voila.  One less pokeberry. 

But I have to be diligent in looking for these weeds.  I can spend hours weeding in one particular spot almost 100% guaranteed that I have pulled all the weeds and wouldn't you know, I blink and there are a bunch of pokeberries hiding behind my perennials. They are prolific. 

Pokeberries remind me of bad habits: those little annoyances that at first don't seem too bad but before you know it, they are firmly entrenched into your lifestyle.   In fact, they might even be camouflaged as not so bad habits. Yet, once they take root in your life they are a bear to eliminate. The bad habits seems to spread to others and they pop up every where you look.   

 Each year I vow to be more diligent in eliminating these weeds.  I don't like using any chemical sprays as I believe there are more long term effects to nature so I rely on hand weeding.  This year I think I am on top of it but I know come August I will see the pocked marked purple cluster of berries somewhere in the garden.  But, I also have fewer than last year. 

What about you?  Do you have any bad habits have developed into problems? What could you have done to prevent it?  Or could you?  Is it a matter of saying no to something or saying yes to something else?  Are you procrastinating doing something?  What happens the longer you let it go?  Does it develop into a bigger problem?  Does it go away? 

Of course to the birds the pokeberries are just fine. As analogies go, some "bad" habits might not be bad in another context.  It might take some reflection to see if there are any habits that are creeping in and preventing you from achieving your goals: to honestly reflect if they are bad or is there something unexpectedly good about them.  If you determine that they are hindering you, you might want to think about strategies to nip it in the bud. Pull out those pokeberries when they are easy rather than hard. 

 

Tennis Lessons

Do you ever have a reoccurring discussion in your head?  You know, the one that plays on repeat- "You are not good enough; You'll never achieve thus and such; You should've done this; You screwed up on that; How come you can't do...?"

Turns out, we are not alone.  Serena Williams the 2016 women's Wimbledon champion has had similar thoughts.  She had a couple of years where she was in the top rankings but just couldn't get a Grand Slam win.  During this time Williams states, "I had to start looking at positives, not focusing on that one loss per tournament which really isn't bad,,, Once I started focusing more on the positives, I realized that I'm pretty good."  

Huh?  She says that she is pretty good?  I would say she's more than that with her winning 22 major tennis titles.  But still she has/had her own demons.

From her losses at the Australian and French Opens, she said that she "learned that you can't win everything, even though I try really hard.  I do the best that I can.  I still am not going to be perfect." 

Life seems to be made up more of our failures rather than our successes.  Or at least that is how we think and that is how we think others, think.   In actuality we probably have just as many successes as losses, albeit small ones, but successes nonetheless.  We are "pretty good" when we just do the best that we can. 

There are times when our negative thoughts loop over and over in our brains.  It paralyzes us from moving forward. We can get so caught up with our failure to achieve perfection, that we miss the accomplishments that occur while striving for excellence. In our own way, we become like Serena and her quest for a Grand Slam tournament, almost achieving our goals but not quite. 

What to do about it?   A couple of days before I read the article describing Serena Williams' new mind set, I was thinking about my own situation and my slump of not moving forward.  I thought that I need to practice some type of strategy to stop this negative cycle of thinking. I remembered reading a tip:  For every negative thought, state three positives.  Don't even let the negative thoughts take hold in one's mind.  Try to banish them with three positives right away. 

What about you?  Do you ever play the negative thoughts record?  How do you stop?  Can you stop?  Do you not even start?  What in your life is "pretty good"?  Write those down for future positive comments. If you haven't achieved a big goal, what smaller ones have you done?   Is it getting out of bed this morning?  Depending upon your situation that can be pretty good. You might not have won any "titles", but have you gotten close? 

If for nothing else, can you see your negative situation as a teachable example for someone else? Sometimes our failures are the inspiration and encouragement that someone else needs. 

 

Universal Precautions

Once again as a nation we are reeling from the destruction from guns and the misconstrued notion of what it means to agree to disagree.  We all talk about stopping the insanity yet we seem to be powerless to do anything about it.  I think deep down we want someone else to fix our social ills when really each one of us needs to take responsibility for the problem of hatred, violence and de-humanization of those whom we deem "different" from us. Whether we like it or not, we are called into community with each other.  We need each other for our own survival and certainly for the survival of our nation. 

Sometimes I wonder if some of our problem lies with the words that we choose to describe ourselves: black, white, hispanic, LGBT, liberal, conservative.  Sometimes I wonder if in our quest to be equal and diverse we have only focused on the diverse, which can lead (and has led) to division. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps the simplest solutions might be the most complex to achieve. 

When I was in nursing school, the AIDS epidemic was just beginning.  There wasn't much information on how to treat and care for those with AIDS.  However, it was known that the pathogen was blood borne and so there needed to be precautions in place for the caregivers. 

I remember many a discussion with fellow students about the disease, the known transmission, and the care and treatment of those with HIV and AIDS.  I do remember a very heated and lively discussion with one student who was very opinionated about his feelings towards the lifestyle of people with AIDS. Underlying his strong comments was a vein of fear and misunderstanding. 

At that point there was a difference in treating and handling AIDS patients than with "regular" patients.   For example, one didn't need to wear gloves for drawing blood with "regular" patients but did for those with AIDS.  Eventually It was determined that all patients should be treated in the same manner, that hospital and medical personnel would wear protective equipment (gloves, face shield, etc.) for any procedure that was at risk for exposure to bodily fluids.  No longer would assumptions be made.  No longer would anyone else be able to tell the difference among patients by the way the staff were treating them.  From the idea of universal- everyone the same- precautions it is now called standard precautions.  No longer is there any thought based on the type of patient about how one handles personal protective equipment.  It is just done for all. Standard. 

I wonder if we can begin to end this fear and hatred of diverse people by stop drawing attention to our divisions and instead looking at our similarities.   Can we look at people as people- universal and not as red or blue or black or white?   Can we see that all people want respect, recognition and a sense of purpose? Can we be open to law enforcement and government recognizing that there might be a better way for them to do their jobs? Can we finally admit that we cannot fix the problem through violence? Can we go beyond our prejudices, our assumptions and our fears?  Can we see others as sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, friends- people who are loved and who love in return?  Can we just see people, no labels or demographic descriptions, as a matter of course?  Can it be done for all?   Standard.

All lives matter- no matter the color, creed, religion or profession. 

 

The Greatest

Michael Phelps.   The greatest swimmer that ever was.  (To mangle a quote from one of my favorite movies, The Natural)  The most decorated Olympic athlete ever. (18 gold medals and 22 total)   A man with so much: so much potential and so much waste.  Tragic. 

There was an interesting article in Sunday's  New York Times Sports section about Michael Phelps.  He is on a comeback journey. 

In April when my husband and I went to Washington D.C. we also visited the Portrait Gallery.  It has great artwork but is not nearly as crowded as the National Galleries.  Plus it is in the old patent office building which my husband likes. 

There was an exhibit on portraits of various famous individuals- some from entertainment, some from politics, others from sport. For each subject they gave a brief explanation about the person, his/her accomplishments and life.  For Michael Phelps, all the swimming accomplishments were overshadowed by his poor decisions resulting in DUI arrests.  To have all his athletic accomplishments and then to be reduced to one's poor decisions is tragic. 

As his coach told him, " Michael, you have all the money that anybody your age could ever want or need; you have a profound influence in the world; you have free time- and you're the most miserable person I know." 

Part of The New York Times article is describing his comeback and how is on a path to wholeness.  I truly hope that is the case. 

His situation is similar to so many others.  Sure, everything about him is larger than life than most- most people will never achieve the world recognition or fame or wealth, yet the human condition is still the same: we all desire a sense of purpose and a sense that there is something bigger than ourselves and our accomplishments.  As Augustine of Hippo says, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” 

In finding God we find a life bigger than ourselves.  We discover that life is not all about us, not all about our accomplishments and not all about our things.  We find that by humbling ourselves and by serving our fellow humankind we can accomplish far greater things than being the greatest that ever was. 

What about you?  You might not be in Michael Phelps league, but you might feel that you are on a track to destruction. Or that you don't need anyone else's help or support.  Or that you have everything that you could possibly want or desire yet you still feel empty. Do you have a sense of purpose with what you are doing and how you are living your life?   Do you feel that your life is tragic?   If so, have you ever considered looking beyond yourself?  I would suggest that you look to the One who was, is and will always be the greatest- period.  

 

Radical Ramblings

In our town there is an weekly alternative newspaper.  Most weeks the articles and subject matter are a little avant garde, even for me.   This past week though there were some thought provoking articles all on the subject of walking, and specifically walking as a mode of transportation in a city. 

In some ways, it still gets me that we look at walking as if we have a choice.  Isn't that how are bodies are made- to move and to move in the form of walking?  Of course we could roll on the ground to where we need to go or we could crawl on our hands and knees but that is not a desirable mode of transport.

One of the articles in the newspaper was written by a self proclaimed radical pedestrian. Whether he truly believes what he wrote or just trying to provoke, he does have some interesting points. When you are traveling at car-speed, sitting and driving in a car, you don't notice your surroundings. "At car-speed, building simply seem 'dilapidated' and people 'loitering' or 'hanging around'."  When you are walking you get to see the surroundings.  You decide to speak or not to speak with another person out on the street.  You have the opportunity to interact with those surroundings and to elevate the inhabitants from "loiterers" to "people with stories, backgrounds, loves and sorrows".  

We saw the difference of car speed vs. bike or walk speed when we travelled through the city on our bikes a couple of weeks ago.  There were some areas that we went through that, if we had traveled by car, would have been seen as a blight in our city.  We would have been anxious to get through that neighborhood and never give it another thought.  Instead, because we were slowly traveling at bike-speed, we were able to have some conversations with the residents.  They were not long, nor deep interactions but they were interactions nonetheless.  The residents asked about our fund raiser and where we had ridden.  As a society, each time we have these little discourses, we strengthen the ties that bind us together.  Each interaction draws  us a little bit closer in community.   

The writer of the newspaper article wonders how much cars have kept our city segregated.  He writes about the frustration of people talking diversity and intersectionality yet no one wants to get out of their cars and interact. "Facebook stokes fears so that people don't want to walk in certain neighborhoods."  The irony is that if people did get out into the streets, the safer the neighborhood would be. 

He also wonders if automobiles have subsidized the suburbs at the expense of the cities.  He feels that if all roads were toll roads in order to reflect the true cost of the automobile- pollution, parking, construction and congestion-  people would think again about walking.  Interesting.  Would that make people think twice about driving?   He poses some radical thoughts. 

I wonder, why does everything have to be extreme in America?  Why can't we embrace and choose a middle road? Why can't we decide that for certain activities we will walk and not use a car?  Especially for those of us that live in a more congested area.  Does it have to come down to government regulation for us to function in the way in which we were designed?  Why can't we decide when we walk and when we use a car?  Yes, a car is certainly very convenient.  (I can tell you that after walking home from the store with heavy grocery bags digging into the palm of my hands and my shoulders.)  And yes, some people do not have the luxury of a car.  (I guess the definition of a car being a luxury or necessity is also another debate.)   

I know for me that walking and bike riding for errands are a conscious choice over just jumping into the car.  I have to think about my schedule, how much time do I have, the weather, the distance, etc. It is not my default mode of thinking (yet) though it is getting there.  I realize that by not making it my first choice, I might be losing out- missing community, interactions and exercise.  

What about you?  Have you ever thought about using another means of transport other than a car to get from here to there?  What is your city or town like?  Do you think that the car has segregated it?  

This week, is there any time or opportunity for you to walk or bike ride instead of using the car for a specific errand?   For instance, getting milk at the convenience store, dropping your kids off at a friend's house or meeting a friend for coffee?  Are you up for some radical ramblings?