Ash Wednesday

In the Christian tradition, Ash Wednesday starts the beginning of forty days before Easter (not counting Sundays). It is a time of remembrance and repentance; self-denial, moderation, fasting, and the forsaking of sinful activities and habits.  It is during this time we are called to remember our sin and prepare for the coming Christ.  The ashes (burnt ashes from the previous year's palms from Palm Sunday) are placed on the forehead, "Remember you are dust and to dust shall you return." in the sign of a cross. (Reminder of the redeemed future with God through Christ.)

I’ve always liked the time divisions in the Christian calendar.  Whether you are a Christian or not, there is something manageable about the forty days.   It is enough time to accomplish something but short enough time to offer variety.

It seems as if forty days are a good chunk of time to accomplish something.  I notice this every time I get my hair cut.  My hairdresser always makes sure that I schedule my next hair cut before I leave the one I am having.  I go every eight weeks.  Many times as I leave I think, “Oh, by then I hope to have accomplished thus and such...”  Sometimes I hit the mark.  Other times I need to reevaluate.  Regardless, I feel that the time is doable.  I don’t get overwhelmed. 

Traditionally  the time of Lent (Ash Wednesday- Maundy Thursday) is usually a time of giving up and sacrifice as a symbol of Christ’s sacrifice for us.  The sacrifice is usually one of tangible pleasure- certain foods or activities. 

But what about a sacrifice of time?  Giving up your time in one activity in order to take time for another activity?  For the secular world, forty days is a doable amount to sustain a new habit. What new habits do you want in your life?  Can you commit to practicing it over the next forty days? 

Suggestions:

  • Giving up looking at Facebook in order to visit with a friend- a relational habit
  • Giving up running out to “pick up something to eat” (which always takes longer than you think) in order to plan menus for sit down dinners at home- a healthy eating and financial habit
  • Giving up watching Netflix for reading a book suggested from a book club-an intellectual habit
  • Giving up watching the news on television in order to listen to a different news source on the internet/radio-an intellectual habit
  • Giving up your personal gym time for scheduled walking with a friend-a relational and financial habit

What about you?  How do you treat the Lenten season?  Do you give up or take on something for Lent?  Have you ever thought about forty days as a good chunk of time to try something new? 

Reveling in Authenticity

Have you ever wondered why people do the darndest things when they are on vacation?  Or at least things that seem so surprising.  I remember hearing that acquaintances of ours bought a car.  At the time I thought why spend your vacation time doing something that could be done during "regular" hours, but then I realized that their scheduled vacation was the only time both parents were together to make a mutual decision.  

How many people will try dare devil activities during a holiday- bungie jumping, para-sailing or karaoke?  Practice risky behavior- hooking up with strangers, binge drinking or over indulging in food?  Over spend budgets- purchase clothes, touristy items, or personal services that they wouldn't do or even think about if they were home? 

I've been thinking about this recently.  Why, when we are out of our "natural elements" do we do different things?  Is it the same rationale for those who like to dress up for Halloween or who like masked balls?  Do we all wish we had a different persona?  Do we feel a freedom in community anonymity or a freedom in the new and of not having to conform to the usual? To feel that no one in the vacation place knows who we are, our responsibilities, our reputations, etc. and therefore have no expectations? 

I know that many days I wish I were someone else- a gentler, wiser, nicer, more attractive self.  I am not wanting to be a masked person or one that is different from my core being but rather a clearer version of myself.  I guess I am striving to be the person God is shaping me to be. 

Yet, shouldn't I try to always be that type of person?  Shouldn't I feel comfortable being authentic wherever I find myself?  Why should I let a different venue give me permission to be brave in my behavior and decisions?  

I think I will try and live each day as if I were on holiday.  To live each day as if the lens is becoming clearer on my true self.  

What about you?  What types of things have you done of vacation that you might never do at home? Do you ever wish you were a different person?  What does he/she look like?  What is your authentic self? 

 

 

Nastiness

Nastiness.  The word itself sounds, well, nasty.  It is just one of those words, actions and predicaments that one should avoid.  Yet we don't.  More and more individuals say and do the meanest things.  We see it on social media and reality television.  We hear it from our leaders and our family and friends. 

This past Sunday's The New York Times had an interesting article called, "The Culture of Nastiness". It looked at our current times and how we are so uncivil towards each other.  What caught my eye was a quote by a professor from our town's university.  The professor teaches a class, "Mister Rogers 101: Why Civility and Community Still Matter".  His premise is that we are a lonely society.  We do not engage with one another as we used to and as we should.   Consequently we do not have experience working through conflicts with people with whom we must figure out a way to get along. 

"Civility is the idea that you're not always going to agree but you still have to make it work... People think, 'If I disagree with you, then I have to dislike you, so why should I go to a neighborhood meeting when it's clear I'm going to disagree with them?'" 

How can we stop this societal trajectory towards nastiness?  It doesn't take a social scientist to recognize that nothing good will come out of this current course we are on.  We see it with the uptick of bullying, harassment, and hate speech.  We see it in the ills caused by isolation- anxiety, stress, addictions. 

Start with community.  Or at least recognizing how much we lack community in our lives.  For most adults, the only community tends to be one's work place. That is not to say it is a bad thing but what about the time spent away from work?   Or if one is let go from one's job?  Where is the community and support? Do we have any interaction with others?  How can we cultivate those relationships? 

Limit social media.   People are so free with comments about others when it is offered under anonymity.  If one had to look someone in the eye and say those things, conversations would be quite different.  Plus the information given through Facebook and other outlets are the "reel highlights" of someone's life.  It is as if we receive the annoying "everything is perfect in our life even our dog" Christmas letter on a daily basis.  It totally distorts reality and authentic living. 

Monitor the types of images one watches.  When all we see are the intense interactions and abusive discussions from reality television or even news programs we subconsciously start to think that way towards others which leads to practicing conversations like that.  If we do watch these images we need to keep a reality check in mind- what is a better way to encourage employees to improve performance; is it really necessary to use curse words to speak to a family member; in light of real problems in the world, is the "drama" of a celebs broken relationship necessary? 

By balancing the words and images that we receive with conversations and experiences of real people we can combat nastiness.  We might not like everyone we encounter but we begin to have some type of understanding of why people think the way they do.  We glean a perspective of what is a true crisis and authentic compassion. 

The end of the article was quite poignant in that it asks each of us to examine ourselves in our contributions to nastiness.  Changing this atmosphere requires more than pointing fingers at "those" people; each one of us needs to honestly admit our role, complacent or active in contributing towards uncivil behavior and then strive for ways to change.

What about you?  Do you find yourself hiding behind social media in your opinions?  Do you know your neighbors and those in your community?  Have you ever been inspired by a reality show to act in the same manner?  How did that go?  

The word that I like instead is comity.  It generally refers to judicial and legal terms.  Originally it was  a word derived from Latin comitas, meaning "courteousness" (and probably related to the Sanskrit word for "he smiles").  

It means courteous behavior; politeness; civility.  

How much better is that? 

It's About Time

Lately with all the busy-ness of my life, I haven't had a chance to tackle any of my winter project lists.  The other day I thought I need to get on it and so I set the timer for 15  minutes and knocked off one item on the list. 

I know that I have talked about timers before but they really are helpful.  It gives you permission for a specific time to do whatever you need to get done.  And it gives you permission to stop what you are doing and to move on to something else. 

In January's issue of Real Simple, they had an article of things to do if you have 5 minutes, or an hour  or one weekend. The idea is that you have a go-to place of things that can be accomplished when you find you have a little extra time.  You are able to work towards a goal yet not have to a large chunk of time in order to complete it.  

I keep lists on my desk of things that take approximately fifteen minutes or less.  Whenever I get a little block of time, I try and check off one of those items.

For example:

  • straighten out a couple of dresser drawers
  • sew on a button from my mending  pile
  • organize a pantry shelf
  • sort out linen closet
  • sort out hall closet
  • weed a garden bed
  • return a phone call
  • send out an email
  • get out tools for larger project

What about you?  Do you have a never ending "to- do" list?  Do you ever wonder when and if you will get around to it?  Have you ever used a timer to accomplish a smaller list?  Can you break down your long "to-do" list into fifteen or thirty minute projects?  Will you give yourself permission to work on a project for that amount of time and when the timer dings, you put it aside? 

If you have never used a timer before I would challenge you to try it.  It's about time. 

Sick List

One thing about being sick is that you are forced to be still.  It seems as if all I have done these last three days is sleep.  When I am awake I can't focus on anything- no reading, no watching television, nothing.  Only today have I had enough energy to move around the house.  It did occur to me some possible reasons why I got sick and what I can do in the future to prevent it. I list them below as a reminder to myself and as an encouragement to you to not get in the same boat. 

1) Get enough sleep.  I certainly wasn't getting my required 8 hours of winks a night.  Most of that stems from our two, four-footed creatures who decide that the middle of the night is the best time to bark at the passing foxes outside.

2) Get outside for exercise.  With all the running back and forth to my father's house I haven't been outside like I normally am.  Plus, the afternoon walk for me and my four-footed creatures would ensure that they would be tired and would sleep through the night and therefore I would too.

3) Reduce stress.  Ah, the rub.  Easily stated, difficult to execute. I have looked over the list of responsibilities that I have for the next six months.  Some things are short-lived while others will be ongoing.  I have realized that I cannot take on any more, even if it is something as simple as baking brownies for a meeting.  That simple action becomes just one more thing in a list of too many things. The proverbial straw that breaks the camels back. Of course, there are projects and people that I want to help but for the majority of things I need to say no for right now. 

4) Stop being the little red hen.  There are situations in my life when, I don't receive help from those who I think should help me, I become like the little red hen.  I will handle it all myself.  And then I get annoyed, upset and looking for reasons to get even angrier at the ones who are not helping.  In not being the little red hen, I am going to try and ask for help.  Or at least state what needs to be done and then let the chips fall where they may.  The work might get done, perhaps not the way I thought it should originally be done but if it gets done, then so be it.  The work might not get done either and then I need to let things happen as such. 

The thing is, most times I practice good habits.  Usually I get enough sleep, exercise and have a good diet.  It is the stress that gets me every time.  Stress affects each of us differently. Regardless on the cause and the effects, stress is one of those insidious situations that sneak up on us.  We go along fine, thinking we are handling our situation when out of the blue, we get sick, or have tooth problems, or stomach issues, or insomnia.  When I feel under stress I like to list the responsibilities that I have to do and that I want to do.  Are there things that can be put off in order to stretch out the responsibilities?  I am learning to be more clear with my family and friends of the things I can and cannot do.  It still can be difficult.  Some people, on hearing that you cannot do something today will decide that you meant forever and will be miffed.  I am learning that I can only be clear with what I say.  I cannot ensure that the hearer is clear too. 

What about you? What would you add to the above list- things that you know if you do not practice you will end up sick and in bed.  How do you deal with stress?  Do you keep it at bay? Do you feel that your life is overrun by stress? What small changes can you make to lessen the stress? Are there things you can put off, say for the next six months? 

 What would your sick list be?  

Fever

The last couple of days I have been in bed with a fever. It finally broke last night and so I feel a little bit better.  I still am exhausted especially in doing the simplest activities.  Who knew that a shower would feel like a workout?

The thing about fevers is that it doesn't take that much of a body temperature increase for the bugs and viruses to be killed.  Your body was designed for that.  The increase temperature of the fever stops the replication of viruses so that our immune system can attack what is currently assaulting our bodies and not be overwhelmed with a new host of reinforcements. 

When you think about it, many things can be impacted by just a simple or slight change.   One small change does have impact on other things. According to earthday.org  "if the entire U.S. did not eat meat or cheese for just one day a week, it would be the equivalent of not driving 91 billion miles – or taking 7.6 million cars off the road.  Or as an individual you ate one less burger a week, it would be equivalent of taking your car off the road for 320 miles."  That's because meat production produces 1/5 of the green house gas emissions. 

There has been other types of research about small changes.  Studies have show that a modest weight loss- 5% of body weight- produces heart health gains, lowers diabetes risk, reduces risk of sleep apnea, lowers cancer risks. 

There are also the interesting stories of major flubs, all brought to fruition by small problems.  In the 1998 Mars exploration, they missed the target for failing to convert English to metric units.  The original pictures sent back from the Hubble telescope were fuzzy.  All due to a 1/50th of human hair width problem of one of the mirrors. 

What does that have to do with us?  

I've been thinking about the zero waste advocates (see February 6, 2017 post).  They seem so hard core. Is it really feasible for all people to live that way?  I am just grateful that my eighty-eight year old father is eating, much less worrying about the packaging it comes in.

But we can do our fair share.  If we all tried to reduce our waste- making choices to avoid plastic and reuse what we have, it would be beneficial to all.  If we all choose to make small changes the impact can be large. Of course we all have to figure out what works for us and our family. But wouldn't it be empowering to know that we have contributed to change and we didn't have to do too much?

What about you?  What types of small changes do you do that have seen big impact?  Is there something small you can commit to today?  Could you monitor it for a month and see if there are any changes? 

(NO) Soup For You!

This winter I have been making a lot of soup. At first I was intimidated and in some respects I still am. (The soup nazi lives in my brain- for all you Seinfeld folks.)  My past history of trying different soups, attempting to make my own stock haven't been that successful- dishwater my one son will say. 

Alas, I have decided to overcome my intimidation and keep at it.  The results haven't been too bad  but then again, the food critic is at college right now. 

One thing I like about making soup is that I have found that it doesn't take too long.  The biggest time is spent prepping the ingredients. After that, I let the simmer burner on my stove take over or use my crock pot on low.  

Here are some recipes that I have found to be successful and delicious.  As with all my cooking, I may add or subtract slightly to the amounts depending on what I want to "use up" in my fridge.  It is more about keeping the quantities in relative balance.

Italian Sausage Soup (quite hardy and satisfying especially on cold nights):

  • 1 can 28ounce stewed tomatoes, undrained and mashed (I have used diced tomatoes too)
  • 4 cups pared and diced potatoes
  • 1 cup chopped celery
  • 2 tbs. minced celery leaves
  • 1/4 cup minced fresh parsley
  • 1 quart chicken broth
  • 2 cups water
  • 1 cup tomato sauce or juice
  • 1 pound hot Italian link sausage (I have used bulk ground sausage and broken it up)
  • 1 pound mild Italian link sausage (ditto)
  • 1/2 cup chopped onion
  • 2 tbs. sugar
  • 1 tbs. lemon juice
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 1/2 tsp. dried whole thyme (I have used fresh- about a heaping tablespoon)
  • 1/4 tsp freshly cracked pepper
  • 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, for topping
  • 1 loaf garlic bread or other bread of choice to serve with soup.

Combine first eight ingredients in large Dutch oven; bring to boil.  Reduce heat and cook on low for 45 minutes.  While soup is cooking slice sausages in 1/4 inch circles; do not remove casings. (Or break up the bulk sausage)  Brown sausage in a large skillet, drain and pour off all but 2 tablespoons pan drippings and saute onion until tender.  Drain well.  Add sausage and onion to the tomato mixture.  Add all remaining ingredients except cheese and bread.  Cook covered an additional 45-60 minutes.  Ladle into serving  bowls and sprinkle with cheese. Serve with hot bread.  Serves 8-12 as a main dish.  (I will add a green salad to round out the meal.)  

Butternut Squash Soup (Given to me by my dearest friend.  She made the soup for me during a time when I needed meals.  I have made it numerous times for our family and also to share with others.)

  • 2 lbs. butternut squash, peel, seeded and diced.  (This takes the most time but not so bad once you get the hang of it.  Some markets have pre-diced squash for sale if time is a concession to you.)
  • 2 cups chicken or vegetable stock
  • 1 cup diced, peeled potato ( I use red potatoes so I do not peel them)
  • 1 medium onion, diced
  • 2 peeled garlic cloves
  • 2/3 heavy cream (or milk)
  • 2 tsp chopped fresh dill (I add more of the fresh, depending on how big the squash was)
  • 1 tsp cumin
  • salt and pepper to taste

Combine diced squash, vegetable stock, potato, onion and garlic.  Simmer covered for 15 minutes or until vegetables are tender.   Puree 2 minutes until smooth and creamy. (I have invested in one of those immersible wand blenders and it has been fantastic!  No lost soup on the sides of the blender if you have to move your soup in batches to and from pot to blender back to pot.)  Add milk or cream, dill, cumin, salt and pepper.  Simmer soup for 5 minutes.  Garnish with dill springs.  Serve with green salad or toasted cheese sandwiches. Serves 4. 

What I like about making a large batch is that I have some to freeze (I use the ziplock quart containers with the blue twist top), some to eat now and some to give away. 

What about you?  Are you a soup person?  Which are your favorites?  Share your recipes below. 

Never Too Late

Ever notice that the best sleep seems to happen right before the alarm goes off?  You will be tossing and turning all night, trying to decide should I get up or lie here? and then when you finally seem to settle down and drift into a nice slumber, "EEK, EEK, EEK," jolts you into another day.

You might be making small talk about weather and schedules to someone, when you realize that one of you needs to leave.  It is then that the conversation will turn to something deeper and significant.

I have noticed at the hospital bedside or at funerals, individuals who never were around while the patient or deceased were healthy, show up and want to engage in something meaningful.  Why do we wait until it is almost, and in some case actually is too late, to tell people how we feel about them?  

How come it seems that only in the final hours are we significant and real?  Or that in the wee hours we can finally relax?  What can we learn from it? 

It makes me think that there are only two ways to respond to our reactions-either embrace the lateness or start earlier.

I think in many cases we should start earlier: earlier to bed, earlier in moving the conversation from small talk to something deeper and earlier in the development of our relationships.  It would make things much less stressful.  No more rushing around feeling that we aren't in our best state of alertness, our best relationships or conversation and certainly feeling that we did our best with our loved ones.

But we shouldn't despair if time is fleeting on us.  It is never too late to catch a few winks (isn't that why we don't jump out of bed when the annoying alarm beeps?), begin a meaningful conversation or try and develop a relationship with family and friends.

I am reminded of the jazz band at my parents' retirement center.  Both parents were members and my dad is continuing on.  The average age of the members is around 85, possibly higher.  While I believe all the members played musical instruments when they were younger, they still remain faithful to weekly practicing and performing gigs. As their name suggests,"Never Too Late", it is never too late to pursue what you want, to reach out to whomever and to contribute to life in some way. 

What about you?  Do you feel that significant things happen to you in final hours?   Do you wish you had more time?  Have you thought about starting "earlier"?  As those hearty octogenarian musicians will testify- it is never too late to begin. 

 

Go Ahead. Name It.

Wednesday I talked about the concept of appreciative inquiry; recognizing one's strengths, building on those strengths and going forward in life.  And as much time as I have ruminated on this idea I need to actually do it- I need to go ahead and name it. 

Today, I am going to take time to put pen to paper (or type to the computer screen) and list out my strengths.  If you have trouble naming characteristics you might want to check out various websites and complete the different psychological tests.  Or, just read some of the descriptions to give you some context and descriptions.

Be completely honest with yourself.  This is not the time for false pride nor for a "aw shucks" false humility. Think about the complements that you have received over the years.  Sometimes we don't see our strengths but others do.  If it is hard to get started, think of yourself in smaller terms:

  • Mind-  What type of learning do you like?  Are you a numbers person or do you need to see things through pictures? 
  • Body-  What area of your physical features do you like?  Your hair, your eyes, etc.?
  • Soul- What areas bring you joy? What activities make you lose your sense of time because you are so enthralled? 
  • Work- In what kind of environment do you thrive?  Working in groups, individually, structured, free-form?  Working indoors, outdoors, on the road? 
  • Relational- Do you get energy from being with people or being by yourself?  Do you love to entertain?  Are you better communicating verbally or on "paper"? 

Knowing my nature, I will probably resort back to some type of self-improvement even with those items identified as strengths as I am always leaving room for improvement.  Yet, I do want to concentrate on the strengths first.  For instance, I have discovered what my strengths are in my writing and I am only going to concentrate on that for now.  I'll be interested to see how far I journey with that.

What about you?  Do you know your strengths? If not, will you go ahead and name it? 

 

Future Strength

Have you ever been in one place, say a meeting with a specific purpose, and something will be said that causes you to have a "Eureka!" moment?  It is some statement or idea that transcends the immediate reason for the gathering and can be applied to other aspects of your life. 

Such was the case for me recently.  I was at a church meeting and the activity at hand was to look at the church's strengths and how that would determine its future.  We were doing a process called "appreciative inquiry".  As they briefly explained the theory and rationale behind the process I was struck with how much the process would help not just a group but an individual. 

The idea is that the group reflects and discovers the strengths of the organization and then through a series of questions, begin to dream and design a future based on those strengths.  A group is cautioned that a fixation on organizational weaknesses doesn't move the organization into the future.  While that may be beneficial at some point, the purpose of dreaming and vision casting should be based on its strengths.

I wonder if our societal tendency to navel gaze and self-help would be better served if we concentrate on our individual strengths rather than improvement of our weaknesses?  It makes me think of the French women philosophy of accepting their physical flaws and concentrating on showcasing their positive physical features. 

I am thinking of all the times that I have made my "self-improvement" lists.  Mostly they are comprised of physical defects (plan to tone up the upper arms), unwanted behavior (eat more slowly) or character flaws (be more assertive with certain family members) that I want to correct.  I think most people have some type of thoughts of self-improvement whether or not you actually list them. If you think you don't have these lists, think to Bridget Jones' diary.  One of the reasons readers loved Bridget was that they could relate to her continual attempt at self-improvement. "Reduce amount of cigarettes. Must reduce consumption of alcohol.  Don't shag strangers or wait until sober, no matter how ding-dong gorgeous the gentleman may be".

In some ways I think I have wasted way too much energy and time on trying to improve the negative instead of using my time and effort on expanding and improving the strengths.  Just think how much farther down life's journey I would be and how much further I would be towards reaching my goals if I didn't worry about and try to correct past items and encounters.  Where would I be if I didn't get stuck trying to "fix" something that may never be completely fixed?  

It is similar to how I view our house. I think I can be so critical of our house, that I am spending so much time on painting and repairing it to the point that I forget to sit and enjoy the beautiful garden spaces that we have.  I can do the same thing with myself and then I wonder why I am stuck and why can't I move forward? 

My plan for this year is to focus on the strengths. Embrace it. Don't fight it.  And let the weaknesses fall by the wayside. 

What would that look like for you?  Do you focus on your strengths or weaknesses? 

Give Yourself The Finger

Last week I attended a lecture given by an educational designer for a program in the city. This program uses Outward Bound and its curriculum to bridge gaps between the youth in the city and the city's police officers.  The underlying goal of the day-long program is helping each person understand that others might have a different perspective from oneself.

black white raised finger.jpg

To emphasis this point, the speaker had us do this exercise:

  • Take you right hand, make a fist and extend your pointer finger
  • Holding your hand in front of your chest, move your hand with your finger pointed upwards in a counter-clockwise circular motion
  • Continue circling your finger counter-clockwise as you raise your hand above your head.
  • Look up and see what direction your finger is moving now

Just goes to show you that one's perspective is not absolute.

Another goal of this program is a chance for people on "opposite sides"  to get to know each other on a level playing field.  The kids and the officers interact in a neutral place- a YMCA or public park. They are not identified by specific clothing or uniform.  Both parties have to disarm.  They spend the day doing team tasks, talking about stereotypes, sharing a meal together and begin viewing each other in different ways.

When we can put a name and face to someone on "the other side", we begin to see a different perspective. We begin to understand a little bit about what the other is going through.  The speaker gave an example from one of the conversation tables where both parties shared openly how they felt about the other. The kids were saying that an officer is intimidating because of his gun.  One officer responded that he feels intimated by the kids because, "we rarely see just one of you.  There are generally twelve of you traveling around. My gun would only stop one of you at a time." 

What about you?  How's your perspective?  Have you ever had it change?   What prompted that?    Are there people in your life that you view through a certain lens? Do you need to see life from their vantage point? Do you need a different perspective in your life?  Do you feel stuck in your outlook?  Do you need to move (literally or figuratively) to see things in a broader range? 

When I feel that I am stuck in viewing a situation, I remember "the finger"- the movement of my counter-clockwise hand which appears to be clockwise once I change my vantage point. 

Green Lights

There is a road by my town that, rumor has it, if you traverse the speed limit- 30 mph- you will get all the green lights.  In addition, if you travel any multiple of 30, you also will get the green lights; e.g. 60 mph, 90 mph.  The theory supposedly was tested out by a gentleman I once knew. It was he that told me about it.  Of course, one might get green lights with faster speeds, but one will most assuredly get a speeding ticket.  

I was thinking about green lights the other day because on the commute to my father's house, there are a lot of traffic lights.  As is always the case, when I am running late I seem to get every red light.  Only once have I gotten six green lights in a row, which then had me watching my speed. The passage through of green lights did seem to occur when I was maintaining the speed limit.  Perhaps my long ago friend was right.  His theory applied not just to that one street but at least to the one on which I was traveling. 

There is some connection between green and red lights with good and bad occurrences.   It seems as if red lights are connoted with negativity.  "I got ALL the red lights on my way here," we whine.  It is as if the universe is conspiring against us and the proof is through the traffic light.  And, it seems as if there are more red lights, more opportunities to have to sit and wait than not.  We have come to expect that at every traffic light intersection, we will be delayed at the light. 

Even when we get a green light, we are surprised.  "Clean living paying off," my husband will tease if we come upon that elusive green light.  Why do we respond that way?  Shouldn't we expect green lights all the time?  Shouldn't it be equal- the amount of green to red lights? 

I wonder if we should change our expectations?  From now on, we should expect the green lights on our travels.  We could plan our time for red light (no rushing or going over the speed limit) but hope and expect smooth sailing.  If it is true with the lights that going the suggested speed gives one through and thorough access, I wonder if there is any application to our own life?   Should we be paying attention to how we do things, doing it the "proper" way to eliminate some problems in our life?  I think of the adage everything in its place.  Certainly when I am organized in my home I do have more time to do things because I am not bogged down with finding the right tool or item. For example, when I am organized with the placement of car keys (few and far between I must confess) then I am not wasting time trying to find the bloomin' keys. 

And in our change of expectations, I wonder if we should redefine the burden of the red light? If for some reason we do get a red light, we should not look at it as a bother but be grateful for the stoppage time.  We can view that time for preparation for the next thing that we have to do for home, work, or family. We can pray for the people that we see passing us in cars.   We can think about what we have to say at the business meeting, the company email or the plan for the household project. We can take a deep breath and view the world around us.

What about you?  Have you ever noticed the red and green lights and the percentage of each you get at intersections?  Do you see it as a positive and negative or just how it is?  Do you find that if you are doing the proper thing (e.g. going the speed limit), things work out (e.g. get a green light)?  Or does it matter- you will always get a red light?  What kind of attitude do you portray when you get a "green" light in life?  When you get "red lights"? 

In 2017  I will try to expect only green lights- for me, my family, my friends and loved ones.  I like the positivity of that.