Legacy

Legacy: 1: a gift by will especially of money or other personal property : bequest 2 : something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past the legacy of the ancient philosophers.

I’ve been thinking about legacy recently. Not so much the first definition of money or personal property but more of what do I want to transmit to future generations?

More specifically, how do I want to live the remainder of my life with that in mind? Not in a morbid kind of way that I am expecting to kick the bucket any moment, but more in the realistic notion that my days are numbered as is everyone’s.

What have I left for others thus far? Have I improved anyone’s situation? Have I enjoyed each moment? Do I have any regrets? Am I investing in what will last?

I think back to the many things I fretted and worried about over the years. Issues and situations that, in some ways, have all worked out. Some of the angst and drama was so unnecessary. I needed to learn to be content. And yet, each drama or angst has taught me about contentment so perhaps the experience wasn’t for naught.

Our family is going through some changes recently and some of the changes are not happening as planned. There is some waiting involved. This time around, in that waiting time when I could be filled with angst (some days I still am) I am trying to take each day, each moment, as it comes along. I do not want to look back and regret that even during this waiting time I was discontented and so missed an opportunity.

The opportunities are the stories we share with one another what we have learned. I think too, the opportunity that awaits us through learning to be content is tied to trusting the Creator with our life’s plan. When I trust God with my future, it becomes less about me, what I need to do or leave for others and more about God, what God wants for my life which is tied to God’s plans for all humanity. As the apostle Paul says (in so many words), less of me and more of God.

What about you? Have you thought about your future? Your “legacy”?

Certainly society is built on the legacy of the past. But as I was thinking of the “legacy” left by my ancestors- where is it today? Sure, I know some of the stories which tells about their character but after a generation or two, any of the specifics are lost. Just a smattering of what my family valued, believed in or saved is actually transmitted.

I think the legacy that we need to leave is the kind that is not about us, but all about God. All that we do should point to Him. When we become part of the bigger picture, we then become part of the legacy that God wants: reconcile others to himself and to each other.

---

For the near future my blog postings will come out once a month around the fifth. If you haven’t already done so, please sign up to receive notification of the latest posting.

Beavers

I heard a report on the radio the other morning. There is an unusual area near the forests and lands of last year’s Colorado wild fires. Most of the area is devastated and contains trees that look like burnt match sticks but there is an area that the fire didn’t touch.

What made it fire proof were the wetlands and river beds created by the beaver community. Beavers are nature’s architects. They create ponds, streams even reshape the marshy lands. In doing “what comes naturally”, that for which they are created, it benefits all around.

Of course, for generations beavers were not appreciated. Over hunting almost wiped them out. (Well, perhaps they were appreciated too much- not for their living attributes but for their warm pelts.) They were considered pests and prevented “progress”. The beavers’ management of stream beds and rivers interfered with how man wanted to manage the same area.

The beaver story made me think of a news article I read many years ago about constructed wetlands: artificially creating marshes and wetlands to treat waste water. By using what nature has already designed to do, we are able to replicate that on a larger scale for our benefit both health-wise and environmentally-wise.

Many years ago my mom predicted that all that we need to solve our world problems were provided by God through the natural world. God gave us brains and curiosity to figure things out. She thought many treatments for diseases would be found naturally and even uncovered/discovered through traditional methods from indigenous people. In some ways that is so. For instance, there is a Brazilian viper snake whose venom proved vital in the development of the blood pressure drug captopril. Apparently about 70 percent of current cancer drugs are either natural products or derived from natural compounds, and the world’s largest rain forest is a great cauldron of biodiversity that has already produced medicine for diseases such as malaria.

In some ways it is a shame when nature or traditional means are dismissed from the “how we solve modern problems/situations” equation. There is a pridefulness in thinking we are too “modern” or sophisticated and that we have all the knowledge necessary to solve our dilemmas. We are short-sighted not to entertain all possibilities in our quest for understanding.

Yet, I wonder how much do I think I am so modern or sophisticated? I am thinking of ideas/people/procedures that I may have dismissed and not appreciated for the natural talents or abilities they brought to the discussion. How much have I been short-sighted in my understanding of others?

Lately the posture of humility has been foremost in my mind: the more I know, the less I know. I am trying to welcome each day with humility and curiosity: what will I learn today from others or from some knowledge base that I didn’t know yesterday?

What about you? What natural gifts or talents do you have? Are they appreciated? By you? By others? Have you ever learned something from a more traditional/natural method? What was it?

There is an old song, It’s Hard to be Humble, by Mac Davis. Part of the chorus: “Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way.” We may laugh at such audacity but there is some truth to how we think. Perhaps we need to think of the lowly beaver and how much they can teach us.

Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. Proverbs 18:12

Helping Others

There is an article in the NYTimes called “The Science of Helping Out”: The idea is that “during a crisis, the people who do best are ones who help others.” In essence, “to help yourself, start by helping others.” ( Click here to read the article.)

The writer of the article quotes Adam Grant, researcher from University of Pennsylvania who has written multiple books on achieving mental health wellness. Dr. Grant noted in his recent book, Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success, that being generous, helping others, doesn’t cost much and provides immeasurable benefits. The idea is that volunteering, donating money, helping in various ways provides “feel good” hormones as well as reducing stress hormones.

In another study, it was noted that high schoolers who helped out middle schoolers with their homework, not only felt good about themselves, but also were more likely to complete their own homework.

I think there is a feeling that by helping one another, it might impact or prevent one from accomplishing what needs to be done. I certainly feel that way at times. I can be “distracted” from the goal at hand because there might be a need with someone or somewhere else.

Recently I was at our little cottage getting some outside work done. Normally, when I have to complete a task that in my mind is “maintenance”, I just want to get it done and move on. (When it is a more “creative” project, I do not mind the pauses, thoughts, or reflections during the process.) Alas, last week it was a maintenance project: shifting a HUGE pile of wood chips around our little “wooded” area behind the house. I was in the head-down, on a schedule, determined to accomplish this before I had to return back home, mode.

Our little neighborhood is, to me, very relaxing. Life moves at a slower pace. Many neighbors (retirees- perhaps that explains the pace?) walk outside and love to stop and chat a while. Consequently during my outside project I met many of our neighbors. One in fact was recovering from a broken leg and in the conversation, I found myself offering to help her with her large dog (mainly, I thought setting him outside on his lead). Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, I ended up walking the dog around the neighborhood, multiple times in my two day stay. While this diversion may have taken the time from my original plans, I was surprised at how much I was able to accomplish even with my “distractions” and thus did finish what I had planned.

The writer of Proverbs reminds me that it is beneficial to help others. Thousand of years before, the writer knew what Dr. Grant and others have discovered: helping others is one way to help yourself. Sure, one can feel good with the release of the endorphins and all the other feel good hormones. But there is something about the economy of time and helping so that when one helps another, the time is not wasted but “added” back. In the parlance of the modern scientists, helping others builds our resilience and increases our ability to handle stress and problems. “Small acts are important, Dr. Steven Southwick professor emeritus of psychiatry from Yale, states, “Part of that might have to do with just getting outside of myself, and finding meaning and purpose in something bigger than myself.”

What about you? Have you ever been interrupted in your work? By what or whom? Have you ever been enriched by the blessing you bestowed on someone else?

However, this isn’t a “get blessed quickly” scheme. Helping with the sole purpose to receive something back is transactional and not altruistic nor a blessing and not, I think, the point of the Hebrew writer. Helping to be a blessing without a thought to our own personal gain is putting our thoughts and actions into proper priority. But, there is something to helping even if you do not feel like it. Sometimes, as my mother used to say, we have to act “as if”- as if we are feeling altruistic, as if we do not care if we receive anything in return.

Why not look to bless someone else today? What do you have to lose? You may even gain more than you give.

Holy Week

Today as it is in the middle of Holy Week, I thought I would leave you with a painting:

The Virgin with Child and Saints Jerome and Dominic by Filippino Lippi.

In our small group, we are studying The Prayer Course by Pete Greig (prayercourse.org). For me, it comes as a timely reminder about prayer and ways to deepen my prayer life.

This last week, Pete shared the story of this painting. As it hung in the National Gallery, it was considered “second rate” for the artist, as the perspective seemed to be off. It was not until an art critic knelt down before the painting and looked up at it, did they realize that the painting was meant to be hung as an altar piece and so, the viewer would be looking up. In viewing the painting that way, the perspective came into perfect alignment.

I love that reminder, that I need to look up at times. To see the bigger perspective in my life, in the life of others and in the world. As Pete Greig also reminded- we need to look at life through a telescope rather than a microscope: focus on the bigger, broader, Godly things rather than our small, minute and quite frankly, sometimes self-centered things.

What about you? Do you need a new perspective this Holy Week? Do you find yourself looking too much inward? How about changing your perspective by looking up? I know that I am attempting that each and every day.

I am not there yet, but I pray that the more I keep my eyes looking upward, the perspective in my life will come into perfect alignment.

Teach-Able

My husband and I have been taking weekly tennis lessons this winter. While we have been playing tennis for a while, the lessons have improved our game and therefore have made playing even more enjoyable. Friends of ours who are in their 80’s are also taking lessons. They may be young octogenarians but the fact that they still want to learn and improve speaks to the life learners that they are.

I am a firm believer in life learning and in being curious about the world. But what about being a life teacher?

The other day our instructor said that he did not believe that people are too old to learn something new. As a teacher he is looking for and open to the receptive student. He is optimistic and hopeful that as long as one is alive, one can always learn something. Yet, he doesn’t write anyone off just because they do not seem like the typical learner.

I like that attitude of our friends and our instructor: being teachable and teach-able.

The greatest teacher was Jesus. He used object lessons and teachable moments. He spoke in parables so that the individual “student” would have to work out the answers. He saw the learning potential in everyone, especially those who were marginalized and on the fringes. He taught in the literal posture of humility: In the ancient world a teacher would sit down when something important was being imparted. But the act of sitting, if others around you are standing, is a vulnerable position especially if those around you might not agree with what is being said. Many times Jesus sat among the multitudes. By being in that vulnerable position, it conveys the attitude that the teacher is open to learning alongside the pupil.

The greatest student was Jesus. While it could be said that He did have an advantage over the rest of us, He knew His subject matter. Yet He demonstrated the act of constantly learning by constantly engaging with the world around Him and with those He came in contact. He daily checked in with God for instruction and guidance.

It made me think about how open am I to learning and in passing along that learning? Am I in a posture of learning from others? Do I have the posture of expecting others to learn? Have I written off some people as un-teachable?

What about you? What is your posture and attitude towards learning and teaching? Who were your most influential teachers? What made them so special? What was the most valuable information that you learned? Have you ever “taught” someone? What was the information or circumstances?

As our recently deceased friend demonstrated through his relationships with people: being in a posture of humility of learning about others-what makes them tick and what they are interested in- opens the channels of shared information and ultimately expands our world.

As we go about our day, may we look for opportunities to “teach” others and ways we may be taught. Not in a patronizing nor haughty, “I know it all” way, but rather in a way that looks at others and information as teachable and teach-able: What I have to impart may be helpful to you because what you have to impart may be helpful to me.

Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another. Gilbert K. Chesterton

Efficiency

When I was little, I loved Cheaper by the Dozen and the stories of the Gilbreth family. Cheaper by the Dozen tells the life of Frank Gilbreth, his wife Lillian and their twelve children. Frank was a motion study researcher- looking at ways that one’s movements could be changed in order to speed up the process of rote activity, say bricklaying (where Frank began his ideas) . Using the new technology of motion pictures, he would film and then calculate various movements to ensure efficiency. He studied, developed and applied his theories on the home front much to the dismay of his children. He even “worked” when the children had their tonsils removed- setting up a surgical theater in the parlor in order to film the proceedings.

The idea of time study has always intrigued me: how can I do an activity or rote action faster and easier? In college, I dated a fellow who was studying engineering. In our first introduction, he was amazed that I knew anything at all about efficiency engineering, the debate between Frank Bunker Gilbreth and Frederick Winslow Taylor and time/motion study.

I have always been fascinated by workers who are efficient in their jobs: nursing assistants, plasterers, cooks, to name a few. People who with dexterity, quickness and assurance, perform their tasks with ease. In college I had a variety of jobs. Once, I worked in a nursing home and was in awe of the senior nursing assistants who could manage a heavy patient load- getting the residents bathed, dressed and into their chairs. The efficiency of their movements as they rolled patients, changed linens, tidied up the space was amazing to a fresh-faced young nursing student. (Of course, it didn’t take me long to realize that some of them just wanted to get the morning work over so they could sit down for the rest of their shift and have their cigarettes!)

At another job working in a deli/bakery, the baker was amazing. Patti, a slight woman but with strong arms, would deftly whip a spatula around a bowl, drop the doughy mass onto the counter and kneed it with such quick movements. In one or two movements with her hands, she would form the desired loaf and leave them to rise.

But for all this time saving movements, I wonder why save the time? Is there a “time bank”? The way we speak about time, one would think there is: one can lose or gain time, “time is money”, “time is of the essence”. Is time and efficiency the same thing? Is efficiency all it is cracked up to be?

I hate being inefficient. There is the maxim in business that you should only touch a piece of paper once: if you pick up a file, do something with it, don’t put it down and pick it up again. Same could be said with emails- once opened, either respond or delete.

Recently, we have had many projects going on in our household. Some things have to wait until others are completed. I am finding that we are in a “holding” pattern where we cannot do progress. This makes me nervous because I know that once, that which we are waiting becomes completed, a torrent of work needs to occur immediately. I am wondering while in this holding/waiting time if I am using my time wisely. I am finding that I am “touching the paper” more than once.

But some things cannot be rushed nor can they be a “once and done”. Instead of efficiency, much of life needs to be cultivated, similarly to gardening. Many actions in gardening are annual activities. There is no such thing as a finished garden. Repeated actions foster growth: breaking up or loosening the soil, repetitively going over a space, adding nutrients, removing weeds, watering, dividing plants.

I think of how we have to cultivate relationships. Our relationships are never “finished” if we are growing and learning together. Like gardening there are continual activities that help foster the growth: communicating, sharing meals, engaging in activities, helping each other, celebrating good times. I don’t think someone would want to have a once-and-done relationship. Sounds like an oxymoron. That is not a relationship but a transaction.

I think of inventions that took time (does that mean that the intervening years were “inefficient?): the can opener wasn’t invented until 45 years after cans were invented; the screw driver was invented hundreds of years after the invention of the screw; friction matches (as opposed to the flint and steel) were not invented until 1826, and the steering wheel was invented 8 years after the car.

What about you? Have you ever thought about efficiency? Where does it fit in your life? With everything that you do? Not at all? What do you cultivate? What in your life has taken time? Is that counter to being efficient?

The ongoing question I ask myself regarding efficiency and time- if I am so efficient with my time, what am I doing with the time I have “saved”? Am I spending time cultivating the things that God wants me too? Does that free me up to “do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God” (Micah 6:8)?

Adjustments

We have an old (in today’s lingo-vintage-although to me it seems still new) water-resistant, battery-operated, analog radio in our bedroom. I generally listen to the news while I am getting ready for the day. Even though the station is set, I will still have to move the dial ever so slightly either up or down to have clear reception. Other times I need to point the antennae in a slightly different direction.

I’ve been thinking about the words adjustments and adjusting lately. It seems as if in the last couple of years, the majority of the world has had to make adjustments: the way we interact, conduct business, educate, even socialize. Just being alive requires adjustments: our glasses need tightening, our pants need to be let out, our budgets reconfigured, even in the time you have read this, you may have adjusted your seat position. Lately world changes are happening rapidly and require us to make sudden adjustments.

So I looked up the word “adjust”-

Adjust: to adapt oneself; become adapted. Not too helpful, so I looked up adapt-

Adapt: to adjust oneself to different conditions, environment, etc.: Hmm. Seems a little circuitous to me.

I finally found more definitions of adjust:

Adjust: verb (used with object): to change (something) so that it fits, corresponds, or conforms; adapt; accommodate: to put in good working order; regulate; bring to a proper state or position: to settle or bring to a satisfactory state, so that parties are agreed in the result:

I like the subtle difference with the word adjustment. Adjustments seem to contain small changes that may or may not contain permanence. Most changes in life are subtle and small, yet over time can make big changes. I think of how prejudices can be overcome by the one-on-one relationships and friendships that begin with a simple hello. Or how healthy behaviors start with just one movement or choosing just one item to eat. Or the political movements, good or bad, that begin with just one person and his/her ideas. Small adjustments are similar to adjusting a rudder on a boat- just a slight change can send the boat in a totally different direction.

We adjust our schedules, our clothes, our lifestyles for the situations around us. We have learned to adjust our expectations for deliveries, household goods and services.

I think of how many times during the day that I have to adjust: The to-do list that gets changed. The phone call that rearranges the schedule. The unexpected maintenance for the car or home. I like the part of the definition for adjust: “to put in good working order”.

Our lives are a living adjustment. We have to adjust our thoughts, our wills, our desires, our actions to accommodate the people around us. But more than that, we have to adjust ourselves to what God would want. Not in a robotic way but in a way that puts us in good working order and brings us back to the satisfactory state that God designed. And not only just in our spiritual or intellect. God wants us to come back to the satisfactory state for our physical and emotional selves too. For most of us, it requires subtle adjustments: leaning into humility, recognizing and squashing our pride, thinking of others, listening and obeying what God is saying, eating healthy food, moving our bodies through out the day, listening to others, showing compassion to others and to ourselves.

What about you? What adjustments have you had to make recently? Were they large or small? What was the outcome?

Just like my adjustment of the radio tuner, I find that every day I need and want to make adjustments in my life in order that I may become closer to my authentic, God-designed self.

Planned Obsolescence

Obsolescence- noun: the process of becoming obsolete or outdated and no longer used.

In our church small group, we have been reading the book, Living Life Backward by David Gibson. It is a look at the book of Ecclesiastes. I have found it life-changing or at least viewing-life-changing.

While at first blush the book of Ecclesiastes seems as if all life and all things are meaningless- hebel, like the wind- there is no pinning down anything: Life is short, elusive and repetitive. What is the point we might ask? Life is to bring honor and glory to the One who made all things and gifted us with all things. Part of achieving that is to enjoy life and all its beauty and pleasure. Not in a hedonistic way but in a way that shows appreciation for the gifts God has given. When I give a gift to a friend or family member, I am pleased when I see that they use it and truly enjoy it. I believe God is the same way. He wants us to enjoy and use the gifts He has given us.

In the book, Gibson describes the balance we must make in this life: we have one foot in the grave and one foot on the earth. We must recognize that we are all headed to death- don’t waste time on this earth. We must make the best use of everyday because sooner than we like to think, there will not be another day. In essence, we need to plan for our obsolescence. We need to “use it up” as I like to say but use our lives in a way that honors the Creator and uses the gifts the Creator has given us.

“When we accept in a deep way that we are going to die, that reality can stop us expecting too much from all the good things we pursue. We learn to pursue them for what they are in themselves rather than what we need them to be to make us happy Death reorients us to our limitations as creatures and helps us to see God’s good gifts right in front of us all the time, each and every day of our lives. Instead of using these gifts as means to a greater end of securing ultimate gain in the world, we take the time to live inside the gifts themselves and see the hand of God in them. Ordinarily, we eat and drink simply as fuel to enable us to keep going with our work. Ordinarily, we work not just to earn a living but to find satisfaction and purpose and very likely to make a reputation for ourselves and to achieve success. What if the pleasure of food is a daily joy that we ungratefully overlook? What if our work was never intended to make us successful but simply to make us faithful and generous? What if it is a death that show us that this how we are meant to live?” (Gibson, Living Life Backwards, p. 45.)

I’ve been thinking about planned obsolescence. As part of the tech/computer world, it may be a brilliant business strategy- plan for the item in question to break down or not even function in a set amount of time so that the consumer has to purchase a new, updated version- creating a ready income stream for the company. As a consumer and one who is cognizant of limited earth resources and hates waste, it is extremely frustrating.

But what would our lives look like if we planned for our obsolescence? If we knew that in a set amount of years, we would be outdated or not longer used? Would we live the intervening years differently? Would we live in a state of enjoying the gifts we have been given? Would we truly make every day count? Maybe not in earth shattering ways but in ways that matter to the people around us?

What about you? Have you wondered about the meaning of your life, especially in light of the last couple of years? Have you felt discouraged that all things are just hebel/meaningless/like a vapor?

One of the most interesting points I gleaned from Gibson’s book is toward the end of the chapters both in Ecclesiastes and his book: God commands us to find joy and pleasure in our lives. “Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes.” Now before we think, “Woo Hoo, God is commanding us to go all wild,” there are guardrails for that journey. We live under and within God’s Truth and Love. Within that guidance, there is plenty of room for our journey.

Prayer

When I was in nursing school one of the instructors gave us this advice: When you find yourself not knowing what to do next or unsure of what to say, wash your hands.

The thought was that you can collect your thoughts and plan the next steps while washing your hands. Even if you had already washed your hands, it is a good practice to wash hands when working with patients or clients.

I’ve been thinking about Ukraine and what I or any of us can do about it. It is so upsetting and unbelievable that at this day and age of 2022 we still have governments who think they can just trample over another sovereign country. (Ah, but therein lies the rub- there is no common recognition or definition among nations of who is sovereign.) But as we know, there is nothing new under the sun.

In this geopolitical scenario, we cannot solve this problem by washing our hands and certainly we cannot “wash our hands of the situation”. Even if one did not believe that we have any spiritual communality with and responsibility to one another (and by spiritual, I mean that we are all made in the image of God), we should be moved to do something by the sheer fact that these are fellow human beings- on both sides of the conflict: brothers, sons, fathers, mothers, daughters, sisters.

Lately, certain circumstances in my life have been totally out of my control. I find that I do not know what to do next and at times, unsure of what to say. But there is one thing I do know that I can do. I can pray.

I am thinking that the one thing that we all can do during this horrific situation with Ukraine is pray. Of course, the skeptics will say why bother- why would a loving God allow this bloodshed to occur in the first place? To that question- I do not know why. God’s ways are not my ways (thank God!) All I know is that when humankind does not get along, it is only through God’s grace that reconciliation can occur. That begins through prayer: prayer for the situation; prayer for the individuals involved; even prayer for the pray-er. Prayer changes situations but mostly prayer changes the individual who is praying. It helps refine the request, see things with a different perspective, keep the individuals for whom one is praying, foremost in one’s mind, and changes the heart of the person praying.

On Sunday, I read an article about the Ukrainian military inviting mothers of Russian soldiers to come to the border to pick up their captured sons. “You will be received and taken to Kyiv where your son will be returned to you,” the ministry statement says. “Unlike Putin’s fascists, we Ukrainians are not waging war against mothers and their captured children.” Sure, the skeptical part of me calls it propaganda but what a concept- recognizing that these soldiers are someone’s children.

I am wondering about the Russia mommas. Are they praying for their boys? Was this an answered prayer for them? Shouldn’t we be praying for all life to be spared?

Paul reminds us to pray without ceasing. That is a tall order for one person. I like the Orthodox concept of that: prayer without ceasing is knowing that we are collectively part of a praying community. When I cannot pray, someone else is. In a twenty-four hour period, prayers are being offered. Constantly.

I heard someone suggest- any time you hear a city named in the conflict, say a prayer for the people there. Pray for the world leaders. Pray for the Ukrainian leaders. Pray for the Ukrainian people. Pray for the Russian people. Pray for the Russian leaders. Pray that humankind will learn something from this conflict. And I pray that those on “the other side” are also praying.

I do not have enough knowledge nor imagination to know what to do next. But I trust in the ONE who does know. I trust that through our collective prayers, something will happen, for good and not for ill.

Loving Parent, How you must weep to see Your children not getting along. How it must break Your heart. Hear our prayers for safety and protection for the soldiers and all involved in the conflict. We pray for the Ukrainian people. Give them strength, courage and resolve-that they know that they are not alone in this endeavor. We pray for the Russian people- that they would have the courage to stand up to a bully government. We pray for the countries who are watching- that they know the right time and the right actions to step into the conflict. While we do not know why this is happening, we trust that You do and that You are working in this situation. Amen.

Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

This past week the radio announcer was talking about The Human Library Project. Founded in Denmark by two brothers and some colleagues, “Menneskebiblioteket” as it is called in Danish, is a place where a “reader” can check out a “human” book. During a certain amount of time, one person, “the reader” listens to the story of another, “the book”. Generally it is a story with which the reader is unfamiliar and perhaps has pre-conceived or pre-judged ideas. The idea of the program is that when we hear someone’s story we are more likely to reassess our stereotype of people and “unjudge” them.

The Human Library® is, in the true sense of the word, a library of people. We host events where readers can borrow human beings serving as open books and have conversations they would not normally have access to. Every human book from our bookshelf, represent a group in our society that is often subjected to prejudice, stigmatization or discrimination because of their lifestyle, diagnosis, belief, disability, social status, ethnic origin etc. (From the Human Library website: https://humanlibrary.org/about/)

What is your story? Where would your book be on the Dewey Decimal shelf of life?

What a concept: spending time with a person to listen to their story in a safe setting. In some ways it is sad that we have to have an organized arrangement to learn to listen to people who might have a different point of view or lifestyle than ourselves. Reminds me of the person for hire who will walk with you and consequently listen to you. The paid walker is what we would call a really good friend.

Our recently deceased friend was a great reader- not so much of books but of people. As many said, “he never knew a stranger.” He was genuinely interested in listening to others and in hearing their stories. As we have been thinking about him and his interests, we realized his hobby was people: getting to know them, introducing different people who might not normally intersect and providing such warm hospitality that being in his presence made one feel safe and loved.

To be a good reader of books, one has to actually read books. Most people don’t just dive into English literature when they start to read. It is a process starting with easy book and gradually tackling the tougher ones like heavy literature or scientific tomes. Either way, it takes practice and in doing so, one becomes a good reader.

Similarly, it takes practice to become a good human “reader”. Sometimes it is trial and error to know the right questions to ask another in order to draw out their story. We might experience an awkwardness in our attempts to either tell our story or listen to another’s. But, practice we must with listening and telling, because each one of us has a story. Some stories might be quite dramatic while others more predictable. Some might seem like fantasy or technical exposes. Regardless of how they may be written, each of us has our own story to tell and can only be told in our own way.

What about you? Have you ever had a chance to “read” someone? To listen to their story? How did that make you feel? Connected to that person? Entrusted with their personal story? Change the way you thought of them? Have you ever been the book- shared your story with others? How did that make you feel? Vulnerable? Scared? Connected?

Sometimes I think that the more we let the facade of facebook or instagram be our stories, the more we obfuscate our true selves. We are allowing the computer algorithms to divide us into categories. We don’t have the chance to personally interact with one another and in doing so, make a discovery. For instance, in talking to the person we may pass on the street, we might serendipitously discover that we have a common interest. Shared interests bind people and communities together.

I haven’t been to our local library in a while. When I used to go, I would go home with an armful of books- some familiar topics and some completely new ones. It is always the book that I “just picked up” that would give me food for thought and inspiration. I imagine that is what a human library is all about.

Breathing Exercises

“Lead with the breath”, instructed the online yoga teacher. It’s a common reminder in yoga. In order to do any of the positions/poses, one needs to remember to breathe. When one is having difficulty maintaining a balance pose, the first reminder is to keep breathing. For something that is involuntary, it is interesting how often when we are under “pressure”, in this example trying to maintain focus so we don’t wobble, breathing is forgotten. Many times when we are under stress we tense our shoulders and hold our breath.

I thought of other times we are instructed to breathe. In getting any type of x-ray, one is told, “Hold it. Okay breathe.” We are instructed to take deep slow breaths when we feel the fast and shallow hyperventilation that can accompany feeling distraught or anxious. We are reminded to breathe during pain. For instance, in child birth, the point of Lamaze is to breathe short, quick breaths through the contraction.

Breathing through pain always reminds me of a dear friend’s story. When his wife was pregnant, they dutifully took Lamaze classes and learned to breathe during labor, especially important during the final stages of strong contractions. Unfortunately, when the time came for the baby to be born, the wife had a very long labor which did not progress in a timely fashion. She had to have a Caesarean section, so they did not have any opportunity to use the breathing methods. However, many years later when he had a kidney stone, he remembered the short, quick Lamaze breathing which helped him with his kidney pain.

The benefits of breathing affect all body systems: natural painkiller, improves blood flow, lowers blood pressure, improves immunity, calms anxiety, improves posture, improves sleep, improves digestion, stimulates lymphatic system, detoxifies the body, reduces inflammation, increases energy level, and relaxes body and mind.

The idea of deep breathing is nothing new. Between 1830-1860 George Catlin, an attorney turned painter visited over 150 million tribal people in North, Central and South America to paint and study their cultures. He discovered that the Native Americans who did not adopt any western traditions or lifestyle behaviors, were far healthier than western society. Part of the reason, he surmised, was that they were nose (not mouth) breathers which in turn allowed them to take deeper breaths and thus reduce many ailments. *(Click here for an interesting read on his findings.)

It is interesting that not only leading with the breath is such a necessary action for our physical survival but breath is also elemental to our spiritual existence. From the beginning of humankind it was all about the breath: God breathed life into Adam. In both Old and New Testaments as well as the Quran, breath is considered God’s Spirit. Almost all of the Eastern religions speak about breathing for life, healing and existence. Breathing is, in a primitive way, quite mysterious. While we can see the chest rise and fall, we don’t see what is actually entering the body. We may know the anatomy and physiology of how oxygen is transported to the cells, yet we do not feel the internal movement or exchange happening on the cellular level. No wonder most ancient cultures treated the breath as something sacred.

I need to remember to breathe some days. I find that especially true when I have a lot of decisions, activities, responsibilities pulling me hither and yon. Situations that can topple me if I do not stay focused with one thing at a time and remember to physically breathe.

One of the pieces of equipment that was (maybe still is?) regularly doled out in any hospital stay was the incentive spirometer. It is a plastic breathing tube with a cylinder attached containing a moveable marker-either a ball or plunger, so that one could see how far one’s inspiration could move the marker. It is used to incentivize the patient to breathe deeply- getting the oxygen deep into the air sacs of one’s lungs in order to prevent stasis which could lead to pneumonia as well as increased oxygen to promote overall body healing. A very simple apparatus but critical in preventing further complications to one’s healing.

Generally, no one uses an incentive spirometer outside of the hospital (or maybe for a few days/weeks post hospitalization). Yet, I am wondering if it is not a bad idea to have one as a visual reminder to lead with the breath in all our activities. Starting our day? Breathe. Feeling overwhelmed at work? Breathe. Nervous before a test? Breathe. Sluggish? Breathe. Difficulty concentrating? Breathe. Anxious about a meeting? Breathe. Pain when moving? Breathe. Click here for simple deep breathing exercises. or here.

What about using one as a visual reminder for our spiritual breathing? Before we do anything else, how much are we leading with spiritual breathing? I do feel that our emotional side, just like our physical beings are tied to our spiritual breath. God’s breath can benefit me when I am being emotionally and spiritually pulled hither and yon. If I do not stay focused on what God has called me to do and on God’s promises, I can be toppled by a world gone crazy. There are plenty of stories, activities and choices that can pull me down if I do not continue to breathe in God’s goodness and grace. Just like the meter that gets higher and higher the more we practice with the physical spirometer, we can continue to practice filling ourselves with God’s spirit as we breathe in His word into our lives and as we trust Him to “oxygenate” every cell in our being.

What about you? Do you practice deep breathing? If so, when? Have you ever been toppled physically, emotionally or spiritually from “shallow” breath? What can you do to increase your breathing capacity? Physically? Emotionally? Spiritually?

“Lead with the breath.”

Not a bad suggestion for life.

---

Breathe on me, Breath of God. Edwin Hatch. 1878

Breathe on me, Breath of God, Fill me with life anew, That I may love what Thou dost love, And do what Thou wouldst do.

Breathe on me, Breath of God, Until my heart is pure, Until with Thee I will one will, To do and to endure.

Breathe on me, Breath of God, Till I am wholly Thine, Until this earthly part of me Glows with Thy fire divine.

Breathe on me, Breath of God, So shall I never die, But live with Thee the perfect life Of Thine eternity.

Rocks

I love rocks and stones. Always have. When I was little there was a tree in our backyard that was ringed with stones. The tree was close to my dad’s garden, and every year when he would turn over the soil, he would deposit around the base of the tree the new crop of rocks that emerged in the dirt. I loved that area. There was a large flat stone that became my table for all sorts of adventures. Some days the area was my island. Other days it became my house. It would be a place to explore and look for hidden treasure. Perhaps a sparkly quarts rock? Some rocks became characters in a story. It was a fertile place to dream and play.

I still love rocks. They line my gardens and fill my paths. I am especially drawn to beach stones. I love the cool smooth surfaces and how they change colors when out of the water. Very rarely do I leave the beach without a stone (or shell) in my pocket. For a time I was collecting larger beach stones to edge my one garden. Needless to say, some individuals in my household were not happy to discover that the beach bag they carried to the beach was much heavier on the trip home.

I’ve been thinking about the rocks that “grow” in our gardens. It was always a mystery to me how the same tilled patch of garden could form new rocks seemingly overnight. Of course, my ever logical son had to burst my magical thinking of reappearing rocks: “The earth shifts and moves and causes the rocks to move upward,” he said.

“The science behind the phenomenon comes from the fact that rocks are better conductors of heat than soil. As a result, as winter sets in, the rocks take heat away from the warmer soil underneath. The soil beneath the rock, now colder, freezes before the soil above and, since it contains water and water expands as it freezes, the soil does too, pushing the rock upwards through the unfrozen soil above. In the spring, at snow melt, the space under the rock fills with soil, supporting it. And so it moves upwards, year after year, until it pops up in your garden.” (*https://laidbackgardener.blog/2019/04/09/a-spring-harvest-of-rocks/)

Well shucks, I rather liked thinking that rocks were animated and moved on their own accord. Alas, while my son talked about them shifting and moving, I started thinking about rocks and life. Seems as if there is a lesson to be learned from our garden stones.

Turning over the same soil each year and finding more rocks can be quite annoying. Yet, in a field or garden patch the rocks need to be removed before they cause problems. Rocks can prevent the seed from growing. An undetected rock can break a plow or other garden tools as well as the undulated ground from the rocks can cause the gardener, farmer, or animals to stumble.

As problematic that the rocks may be, it is those same rocks that become the beautiful stone fences for the New England farmers. Many of those walls are still standing even after centuries of wind and weather. Think of all the life that lives in those walls- reptiles, mice, “volunteer” weeds and plants that fall in the cracks.

Even if we till the same patch of ground and think that it is free of stones, there is always something being pushed to the surface. In life, there is always something that is displaced or moved or needing to be moved. Sometimes things seem to pop to the surface: emotionally-an attitude, prejudice, pre-conceived notion or spiritually- doubt, trust, or faith. We wonder where did they come from? We might think that we took care of that issue and that we already removed that rock only to have one similar resurface again.

Things shift and move in our physical world too- health, weight, housing, relationships, cash flow, even jobs. The question becomes, can we use that changing item, that pebble, rock, or boulder in our life for something good, beautiful or useful? The thing with tilled soil- it is a lot easier to remove rocks from its beds, than soil that has never been turned over.

So when we see the emotional, spiritual or physical stone, do we recognize it for what it is and quickly remove it? Could that pre-conceived notion be removed and placed with other thoughts to keep out negativity? Or could trust and faith in someone or Someone, be placed as the foundation for the perimeters of our life?

What about you? What, if anything, in your life has appeared as a stumbling block? What happened to it? Did it get tossed on a pile of other similar stones? Did it get used for building something productive?

Clarity

There is a classic story about Mother Teresa and ethicist John Kavanaugh. Kavanaugh was questioning his future and was spending time with Mother Teresa in Calcutta. At one point he asked her to pray for him that he might achieve clarity in his decision.

“That I will not do,” she told him.

“I don’t understand. Why not?” he asked.

She smiled and said, “Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of. I pray that you will have trust.”

Kavanaugh responded to her that he assumed she had always had clarity; that she always had known what she was supposed to be doing. To which Mother Teresa responded that she never had clarity; that all she had was trust.

Wow. One of the most dedicated persons to a life-long purpose and she never felt clear about her future. She could continue only because she believed in Someone who was reliable, good, honest and had her ultimate best in His hands. In other words, she trusted God.

I have been thinking a lot about that story recently. We are going through decisions in our family that at first blush seem to need clarity. But when I think about it- clarity is really for my own personal benefit of control. Clarity means that I can figure out what I am meant to do. Clarity means that I understand.

Rather, trust puts the sole business of who is in control into God’s hands, into the One who is reliable, good, honest and true.

Clarity: the quality of being easily understood; the quality of being expressed, remembered, understood, etc., in a very exact way; the quality of being easily seen or heard.

Trust: belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.

Abraham and his Sarah* tried to take future matters into their own hands especially when it seemed as if God wasn’t too clear about their future. Early on their life’s journey God had promised land for “all their offspring”. Just because they were getting up in years and didn’t have any children was no reason for them to doubt God, but doubt they did. Abraham tried saving his hide (really, you cannot have offspring if you are dead) by pawning off Sarah as his sister when they moved to Egypt. That choice of mistaken identity didn’t provide any clarity for the future. It just muddled the relationship with Pharaoh.

Later, Sarah decided that since this future “offspring” wasn’t happening any time soon between her and Abraham, she would have her female servant Haggai sleep with Abraham instead and that offspring would suffice. Unfortunately that offspring, Ishmael, complicated matters for that generation and beyond, muddling even today’s relationships between Jews and Muslims.

It wasn’t until Abraham took his journey up the mountain to sacrifice Isaac that we see it is not about clarity but trust. Abraham had no idea what God was going to do but he followed God’s direction. The instructions were clear yet they didn’t provide much in way of explanation: sacrifice your son on the mountain. As an only child, miraculously given to elderly parents who had only one shot fulfilling the “as many as the stars” progeny, it would have been reasonable for Abraham to ask God for a little clarity over the mission about sacrificing his son Isaac. Instead, Abraham trudged up the mountain and when little Isaac asks him where the sacrificial lamb was, Abraham responds that God will provide. Abraham had to trust that God was going to provide for him in that moment -either giving Abraham the strength to sacrifice his only son and provide another plan for a multitude of offspring or do something else. God did provide with the something else- a ram stuck in the thicket.

What about you? Have you ever prayed for clarity in a situation? What happened? Have you trusted in God regarding a situation? What happened? Did you ever see the unfolded whole picture? Or were things revealed slowly? What was your “something else”?

The interesting thing is that when I look back and think of the times that I prayed for clarity, they almost always required that I have some trust as I moved forward. Much time and energy was spent over trying to achieve clarity. If I had just started out with trust in the beginning, I would’ve been in such a better place.

Much as I would like to achieve clarity in some of these future decisions, I am willing to go with trust instead.

---

* At this point of Abraham and Sarah’s story, they are originally called Abram and Sarai. It was too confusing to use two different names for my retelling. (Reminds me of Russian literature- Why does Dostoevsky have to have names and nicknames for the same characters?) However, God renames them Abraham and Sarah when He gives them the covenant. Interestingly that happens before Abraham’s trust journey up the mountain. Abram didn’t have to “prove” his loyalty or obedience to be renamed, Abraham. Gives me comfort to know that I don’t have to prove to God my obedience before He has a relationship with me. He has already reached out and is waiting for me to trust Him. Of course, after I begin a relationship I want to trust God and align my plan and purpose with His plan.

Artistic Adjustments

This past week I joined my son for a day trip to the National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC. I love going to the art museum. Art is a subject about which I know very little and I am always interested in learning more. To me, there is something elevating in seeing a beautiful work of art: I think it is seeing the creative God at work through the creative human.

There are certain paintings that I enjoy viewing. They always make me smile and feel good. I love the paintings of Constable- how he captures the outdoors especially the sky and the clouds. Even though this painting was done in 1816 in England, I have seen cloud formations like these over two hundred years later here in the Mid-Atlantic.

I have seen this painting many times, but I did not know that this was not his “original”. He had painted the scene of this home, commissioned by the homeowners, General and Mrs. Rebow. However, when it was almost completed,Mrs. Rebow wanted additions to the canvas. Constable added about three inches of canvas to both sides. He “covered the seams” on the left hand side, by painting a cow in the foreground and on the right side by adding the fishing boat.

What I love about this story- even a fine artist like Constable had to make adjustments. He had spent a good amount of time already sketching, drawing and painting the scene. Yet how true for us, whether in small ways or large, whether we are almost done or not, we have to adjust to changes through nature, society, others’ decisions, or our own shortcomings. Sometimes we have to adjust because of our own health, or misjudgments. Other times we change due to obligation or responsibilities. Sometimes it is totally out of our control and we just have to adjust.

The thing about Constable’s new painting, the changes he had to make, elevated the canvas from a very good painting to a masterpiece. By adding the additional scenes, he had to also make adjustments to the perspective. The “new” canvas shows an entire panoramic scene that we would have seen with our visible eye if we were standing next to him- the canvas includes the entire view. If the same scene had been taken by a camera, it would be somewhat distorted due to the limitations of the camera’s panoramic view. He fiddled with perspective so that we, the viewer wouldn’t have to.

What about you? Have you ever had to make adjustments to a project? Were was it in the process? At the beginning? Middle? End? Have you ever had to make an adjustment to an attitude or thought process? By doing so, did you make it easier for another?

I wonder if Constable minded having to make the adjustments? The following is from the National Gallery of Art’s book on British Paintings:

The commission, which was executed in August and September 1816, is described by Constable in a series of letters to his fiancée, Maria Bicknell. "I am going to paint two small landscapes for the General, views one in the park of the house & a beautifull wood and peice [sic] of water, and another scene in a wood with a beautifull little fishing house," he wrote on 21 August. "They wish me to take my own time about them—but he will pay me for them when I please, as he tells me he understands from old Driffeild that we may soon want a little ready money. "

The next letter, written on 30 August, explains why he had to extend the canvas by over three inches on either side: "I am going on very well with my pictures . . . the park is the most forward. The great difficulty has been to get so much in as they wanted to make them acquainted with the scene. On my left is a grotto with some elms, at the head of a peice [sic] of water—in the centre is the house over a beautifull wood and very far to the right is a deer house, which it was necessary to add, so that my view comprehended too many [distances]. But to day I have got over the difficulty, and begin to like it myself. I think however I shall make a larger picture from what I am now about. .. . I live in the park and Mrs. Rebow says I am very unsociable." He reported on 19 September: "I have compleated [sic] my view of the Park for General Rebow." Constable received a payment of one hundred guineas for this picture.”

Did he have an inkling at the time that this canvas would someday grace the walls of a museum? The painting and his story reminds me that if I have to make changes, there is always the possibility that the adjustments just might transform what I am doing, thinking or saying from something ordinary to something wonderful.

Probably what he was initially thinking before Mrs. Rebow asked for the additional changes.

(B)Limey

While I am not a naval historian, it has been argued that the British Navy dominated over the French due to the one simple fact that Britannia ruled the waves through lemons.

In 1795 a physician named Gilbert Blane convinced the British Royal Navy to issue some form of lemon juice to its sailors. His order may well have changed the course of history because it allowed Great Britain to successfully defend itself from a Napoleon-led invasion by setting up a blockade of the English Channel. This blockade, during which many ships spent months on the water without coming to port, went on for 20 years—a feat that scurvy would never have allowed.*

The Brits had figured out that lemons prevented scurvy in the sailors. Thus they had the man power (since scurvy could wipe out a crew) and better fitness than the French. Over time, the lemons were switched out to the more plentiful limes thanks to the bounty of the East India colonies, earning the sailors the nickname, lime juicers which became shortened to limeys.

As an urban legend, or more accurately an ocean legend, it sounds great. While there is truth in the story the details are lacking. There were other reasons for the British Navy to prevail as well as there were other attempts, failures and successes to prevent scurvy.

Scurvy was the bane of the sailor’s existence. It is a horrible and gruesome illness leading to death. Over the years, many British crews as well as other sailors were lost to the disease. In 1744 Commodore George Anson returned from circumnavigating the globe. Out of his almost 2,000 original sailors, only 145 returned. While only four sailors died from enemy action, the rest of those lost were due to scurvy.*

Scurvy is the lack of vitamin C in the body. Vitamin C is needed for tissue integrity. It helps with the formation of blood vessels, muscles, cartilage and collagen in bones. It is an anti-oxidant and is key to healing. Humans, some primates, guinea pigs, some bats, birds, and fishes do not produce their own vitamin C and need to ingest it from other sources. It is thought that “in all cases so far studied, the inability to synthesize vitamin C is due to mutations in the L-gulono-γ-lactone oxidase (GLO) gene which codes for the enzyme responsible for catalyzing the last step of vitamin C biosynthesis. The bias for mutations in this particular gene is likely due to the fact that losing it only affects vitamin C production.” * As a species, for humans to have the “mutation” is not really a problem as long as we can ingest the vitamin.

All throughout the centuries of sailing and global exploration, different countries and explorers would “discover” that the use of fresh fruit and vegetables containing Vitamin C would prevent or quickly cure the disease. However, that knowledge would be forgotten or overlooked causing scurvy to prevail. Even if it was determined that fruit or vegetables containing vitamin C would prevent scurvy, the practice of using that food was still slow to be adopted in the navy protocol. [Interestingly, it was discovered that the sailors who ate the ship’s rats did not get scurvy since rats produce their own vitamin C. Not my first choice for sourcing vitamin C.]

It was James Lind, a ship’s surgeon who in 1747 did one of the first “scientific studies” with one of the crews. He divided the sickened sailors into six different groups each receiving different treatments. It appears that the group that received lemons and oranges recovered enough to even help out the other sailors who were deteriorating.

The unfortunate thing about Dr. Lind’s “scurvy experiment” was that the cure was once again, forgotten for years. It seems that with the history of scurvy, although an individual ship might have received guidance from natives on vitamin C enriched plants and therefore would physically survive the scourge on the crew, there was never any remembrance or carry through to another ship. There was not a ruling from the Admiralty or any of the other country’s navies until almost fifty years after Dr. Lind did his experiment.

Still, I like the image that one thing, eg limes, can make all the difference. It has me thinking- what one thing could I do or not do that would make the difference to me? What one action or new behavior would put me on a different path?

I think of the individuals who decide to embark on better health and they start by doing one thing- say walking for ten minutes in the morning or doing some chair/standing exercises each hour. Doing one thing will begat another behavior, turn ten minutes of walking into twenty and before they know it, they are moving quite a lot and feeling better.

Same could be said with wanting to improve nutrition: What is one thing that can be incorporated into one’s meals? Perhaps it is adding a cup of fruits or vegetables per day or drinking a glass of water upon arising and before meals. Or, trying to improve nutrition by not mindlessly snacking- to eliminate one snack a day.

I think of individuals who want to go deeper in their spiritual lives: What is one behavior that can help draw one closer to God? Perhaps it is increasing (or starting) Bible reading or prayer. It could be done through a ten minute Bible reading app on one’s phone or taking five to ten minutes before beginning work or opening any social media, to pray.

Or individuals who want to improve their intellectual health: What is one thing that you would like to learn? What small activity can be made each day to achieve that? Learning a new language through small daily classes? Practicing an instrument twenty minutes a day?

Or those who want to improve one’s emotional health? Could the simple act of writing a gratitude list each day or sending a text or email of encouragement to another person help? Or making a plan to do some volunteering?

What about you? What are some “one thing”s you can do to make a change in your current situation? Perhaps it was something that you used to do and was forgotten. Would it be appropriate to reintroduce to your lifestyle? It may not be much and it may not be “the end all, be all” for your life, but it might set you on a trajectory towards something better.

What do you have to lose? The Dr. Lind’s citrus eating experiment was by far (to me) the most palatable of the “solutions” at the time: others included urine mouthwash, “elixir vitriol”, seawater, cider. Over the years, it would be “re- discovered” that citrus juice and vitamin C prevented scurvy and then that information would lost along the way. Perhaps because it was too obvious and too simple?

That is the other thought about doing “one thing”: it may be an obvious and simple activity/behavior but the overall achievement can be life changing.

*https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3145266/. https://www.sciencehistory.org/distillations/the-age-of-scurvy. https://theconversation.com/how-the-british-defeated-napoleon-with-citrus-fruit-58826.

Time Suck*- an inefficient or unproductive activity, process, etc.; a waste of time.

On a recent Sunday the sermon challenged us to look at the things to which we are devoted. If one has trouble thinking about it, consider: What does our calendar look like? What does our budget (or checking account) look like? What does our internet history look like? Those questions can help us determine where we spend our time, money and attention.

I have been thinking about that lately. I realize that while I do need to tweak some of my time management as well as managing our budget a little better, the biggest area I need to address is my internet history. Nothing shocking but just time wasters. Do I really need to know that Sidney Poitier was tone deaf and his singing was dubbed in Lilies of the Field? How will it help my life’s purpose to have watched on youtube an old Password game featuring Gary Morton, Lucille Ball and children, Lucie and Desi Jr (Though it was funny to watch the reactions of the children. Lucie Arnaz is a typical preteen! And it was rather nice to see Gary Morton stand when any of the ladies stood up.)

So, if I am spending too much time with time wasters, where would I like to direct my time? More importantly, am I listening to where God wants me to direct my time?

I must admit I do not read nearly as much as I want to, nor do I enjoy my home as much as I could. Sitting in our living room and reading an engaging novel is too infrequent. A couple years ago I had a volunteer church meeting on our screened porch. One of the attendees was very complimentary about our home decor noting it was very inviting for gathering. I realized that we did have options for seating yet I couldn’t remember the last time I actually sat down to enjoy any of the spaces.

I am wondering if I got rid of the time suckers would I then have more wiggle room in my schedule? Would I be in a better position to be available for whatever God would have me do? I have finally come to the conclusion and the acceptance that, no matter what schedule I may have planned for the day, week, month or even year- it is always changing.

Since interruptions are a given, I should allow the rest of the time to be more focused on what I want and need to do. Or in other words, if I removed the wasted time in my schedule, the unplanned activities would fit in nicely.

What about you? In what areas do you struggle- time, money, attention? How would you like to manage them?

Lord, today is a new day- full of possibilities. As our day unfolds, help us to be disciplined in the areas that we need to do yet foremost, help us to be open and flexible to the areas that You need us to do. Amen.

---

* Just writing the word, “suck” makes me think of a scene from the BBC period drama, Cranford staring all those you know and love from the UK: (One could argue that the drama alone is a time suck- oh the irony.)

“THE ENIGMA OF THE ORANGE

Miss Deborah Jenkyns has very definite views on many aspects of everyday life. One should not, for example, mention the word "poverty" out loud. But what about the delicate operation known as "eating an orange"? She and her sister Matty had to maintain their decorum when consuming the fruit with Mary, a fresh-faced newcomer to Cranford. The hapless Mary made the mistake of admitting she liked to suck out the juice through a hole in the rind, and Deborah was quite simply horrified by the revelation.

"My sister does not care for the expression 'suck'," Matty explained. "It is altogether too redolent of a ritual undertaken by little babies." After this appalling transgression in vocabulary, Deborah announced that they had no other option but to "repair to our rooms and consume our fruit in solitude". Quite right too.” (https://drama.uktv.co.uk/cranford/article/cranfords-battiest-moments/)

Favorite Things

I recently finished a book that my friend had given me. The Bookshop on the Corner is about a “literary matchmaker”- a character who can match up just the right book with the right person. I think my friend is one too. Every book that she has suggested has been a page-turner, sneak-in-a-page-while-doing-something-else, up-to-1-am-finishing kind of book. They have been books that spoke to me and whatever situation I was going through at the time. In this latest book, it is just a fun, pleasant ride. In the back of the book, the author has acknowledgement pages as well as a “P.S.”- containing some info about her favorite things. While the list is not in any particular order, it is fun and interesting to read through. Just by reading it I feel as if I have gotten to know her a little.

I thought in honor of The Sound of Music (usually played during the winter months) I would list my favorite things. It actually is an interesting practice because some things that we might have enjoyed while we were younger, we may not now. (Or things we didn’t like when we were younger but have acquired a taste for it as we have aged.) The other night, my husband put on a CD that we had received in the 1980’s. It was definitely 80’s-type electronic music. We both looked at each other and shook our heads. Did we ever like that music?

So, in honor of Jenny Colgan and her P.S insights -“Stuff I like”, here are some things I like or like to do (in no particular order):

The smell of coffee wafting up the stairs first thing in the morning; a bouquet of wild flowers; to have all the family members under one roof (with an exit strategy); to learn something new; a day that incorporates writing, exercise and learning; travel; mornings; the smell when sunlight hits white pine and mixes with salt air; Frasier Fir candles; a good thrift store; an old-fashioned hardware store; the smell of freshly cut lumber; stirring a new bucket of paint; spreading mulch; reading a light mystery- preferably set in an English village; new recipes to try; fresh, farm-table ingredients for said recipes; biking through a new neighborhood; daisies and buttercups; walks along the dunes and beaches; words, a good turn of phrase and the etymology of words; reading dictionaries and thesauruses (not that you would recognize by my limited word choices); BBC documentaries and dramas; otters; hawks; spotting the occasional bald eagle; typewriters; reading the liners of LPs; playing tennis; body surfing in Nantucket Sound; any book by Elizabeth Berg; watching anything about another country’s lifestyle; trains; heated seats in the car; outdoor wood fires; indoor gas fires; sustainable practices; repurposing an item- extra likes if I can use it multiple ways; hanging out freshly washed laundry, bright copper cookware, polished (me being the polisher) silverware and brassware. Whew! And I am just getting started.

What about you? What are your favorite things? Or stuff you like or like to do? I haven’t even covered the types of music or genres of books or specific ways of traveling or games….. The list is endless. Think movies, places, experiences, people, activities, actions, hobbies, music, or books. You can think globally or down to the smallest detail (the iridescent feathers around a pigeon’s neck, for instance).

What is fascinating is that everyone’s list is different and changes. I like hearing what other people enjoy because that expands my horizon and gives me something new to try. In addition, it is always a pleasant surprise when I find someone, who at first glance doesn’t appear to have similar tastes to mine, does. Or someone who I might have known a long time, to discover that we also share something else in common.

So go ahead- sing a few of your favorite things…

Epiphany

Epiphany. January 6th- twelve days after Christmas. Traditionally it is the commemoration of the wisemen visiting the Christ child and presenting gifts to Him.

For me it is hard to believe another year has transpired. On January 6th it will be four years since my dad died. While this year was relatively uneventful for us (compared to other people in the world), we did experience some loss and changes. While I usually see the glass full of opportunities, sometimes I struggle with the human default that sees the glass empty of any possibilities. Some situations or moments seem full of despair. There are days when I find it hard to get dressed and get going. At least (I tell myself) I get out of bed- I am too much of a coffee and breakfast hound NOT to stagger into the kitchen. I wonder, what is wrong with me? Get up and get going. Think of all the wonderful things in your life and in the world.

Lately I find that I am questioning everything. The world is so topsy-turvy. Yet, I find that I am not alone in those mind explorations. It is comforting to know that every generation and every culture has wondered: what is one’s place in the world, what is the meaning of life, and to some extent- what’s the point of life?

We see it across the scientific ages: Copernicus, Galileo, Descartes, Newton, Einstein, Heisenberg, Schrodinger, Hawking. We see it through philosophers: Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Spinoza, the Stoics, Nietzsche. And we see it especially through world religions: Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, Taoist.

In the Christian tradition, life’s meaning is grounded in the monotheism of God and His omnipotent, omnipresent, omnibenevolent, and omniscient being: He has a plan and purpose for each of His creation and in returning all creation back into communion with Him.

The “wisemen” in the Epiphany story are called the Magi- Far Eastern philosophers/astronomers/thinkers/scientists. They looked to the stars for their inspiration and in figuring out this world. Over two thousand years ago, they saw something different and intriguing in the sky and needed to check it out.

When I start down the path of wondering about life’s meaning, I need to stop. Pause. And look up. I need to return and remember what I believe to be true and good. I need to look for something new and different that may be on the horizon. I need to (re)turn to what God has done, is doing and will do in my life.

While my introspection is helpful at times, I cannot be so internal that I miss the external. If the wisemen had stayed in the east and just discussed what they saw, they would’ve have missed a life changing journey. They had to get out of their ivory tents and travel to an unexpected place. They didn’t limit themselves to certain ways or ideas. They were willing to explore and discover. While they may have had some questions about the birthplace of this royal visitor, they certainly didn’t let a stable or any preset ideas about nobility/peasants prevent them from worshipping the newborn. They were wise in recognizing the tension of life: between a humble birth and royal priesthood, between the known and the unknown and between challenges and discoveries.

So too, I would be wise to see the tension in life: between despair and hope, grace and truth, forgiveness and accountability, opportunities and challenges, loss and gain, questions and answers leading to more questions. When I feel despair I become paralyzed. I do not want to move but by not moving, or by being set in certain ways or ideas is to limit myself. To be wise is to seek and recognize the tension of life and to not be afraid of it. To be wise is to realize that one needs to move, sometimes physically, emotionally or spiritually in order for God to work through us and for us.

What about you? Do you become circumspect in the beginning of a new year? What is it that you are seeking? Do you have preconceived ideas about the future? Have you ever had to seek out a new beginning or new way of thinking? What did that look like?

Epiphany. According to the etymology, the word itself comes from the wisemen visiting the Christ child. Fitting. When one encounters the Christ child, one is never the same. When we become like the wisemen and seek Christ for the answers to life’s perplexing questions and problems we most often have an epiphany.

Full Definition of epiphany. 1 capitalized: January 6 observed as a church festival in commemoration of the coming of the Magi as the first manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles or in the Eastern Church in commemoration of the baptism of Christ. 2: an appearance or manifestation especially of a divine being 3a(1): a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something. (2): an intuitive grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking (3): an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure. b: a revealing scene or moment (merriam-webster.com)

Epiphany. January 6th. It occurs every year as long as wise men and women still seek Him.

A New Year

Out with the old, in with the new….

You may have heard this common expression for the new year. In our consumer economy, I think we are all pretty good with the “in with the new”. But how are you with the “out with the old”? Do you hold on to things, ideas, habits, philosophies, relationships?

Over the holidays my son and I were working on a jigsaw puzzle. As a friend once commented about puzzles- they are a good way to just talk about anything while you are lightly engaged in a project. As we were trying to figure out some tough distinguishable areas of sky pieces my son remarked, sometimes it takes a different perspective to figure out what goes together. He had just gotten up to get something to drink and when he sat down, he had started working on a different section. When he returned to the sky section he was able to fit in many pieces.

For this New Year’s Day, why not look upon this year with a different perspective? Instead of all new: new ideas, things, philosophies, relationships, we review the “old”? We evaluate what we have- is it necessary, helpful, supportive, useful, beautiful- and decide if it is it serving our current needs?

Are there things that you might want to evaluate before you blindly turn the page for the new year? Why not plan on evaluating those things during the month of January before embarking on a new idea, or purchasing a new item, or starting a whole new exercise regime.

The current psychology regarding changing and creating new habits is to create a new one before eliminating an old one. The thought is that once a new habit is established it is easier to drop the old. But for many, it is hard to even begin a new one because the old one gets in the way.

I wonder if even before any new steps, we take a good hard look at the old habit or things, or ideas/relationships/philosophies. We take the time to go through the old. We look at the old with fresh eyes and ask ourselves some questions: Why do we still have it? Is it too costly to continue- physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually? Is there anything about the old habit- physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually that is still good, useful and helpful? What would happen if I gave it away, sold it, discontinued using it? Would I miss the old if it were gone? Am I ready for the “new”?

Sure, it is nice to have everything new and to feel everything is fresh. There is nothing freer than to feel that January 1st has given us a new chapter in life -full of new opportunities and possibilities. But as anyone who has ever moved, most likely you end up bringing your old junk to the new home. New location, same stuff. Nothing really has changed except you might not know where the coffee mugs are located. Yet in the case of moving, when we really go through each box and not just hastily pack, we sometimes discover long lost meaningful items. Items that can be resurrected and used in our new location if only in a new and different way.

What about you? Do you have a New Year’s routine? Start something new? What about the old? Still around? Want it to be? What can you do this January to evaluate the old? How can you view your life differently this January? Need to see your relationships through the eyes of your friends? Need to “shop” your closet/house- finding long forgotten items and clothes that might be new again for you? Need to see what you are already doing in your exercise routine that can be augmented? Need to have a reflective time with God to determine your next steps with Him?

Maybe a new expression should be: evaluate the old before you embrace the new…

The Christmas Letter

Saturday will be Christmas day. In the Christian tradition it is the day to commemorate Christ’s birth. While the actual birthdate was not December 25th it is still a day of celebration.

Christmas is one holiday that celebrates all sorts of traditions:

• Christmas tree- what type (fresh or artificial), when to decorate, what types of decorations, where it is placed in the home, specific decorations that have to be hung, in specific order?

• Christmas presents- when to be opened (Christmas Eve, or morning), hand made or store bought, extravagant or budgeted amount, what to use as wrapping paper (same kind for each person, re-use from past years), Santa-given, stockings (or shoes), on mantle, foot of bed, open gifts with everyone or as one wakes up, open in a specific order- by age, every person opens one and then around the room, gag gifts, Yankee swapping?

• Christmas dinner- what time, family recipes, dress up or down, at certain family member’s home, rotate dinner locations?

• Christmas service-Christmas Eve or Day, traditional lessons and carols, family/children act out the Christmas story, pageant?

• Christmas decorations—inside and outside the house, white or colored lights, inflatables, candles in the windows?

• Christmas food- cookies; family recipes, fruit cake?

• Christmas cards- send via mail or email, religious or fun?

• and will it contain the good ole Christmas letter- like it or loath it?

According to Wikipedia, the earliest known Christmas card was sent to James I in 1611. While it mentions the holiday season, the sender wishes the king “in most joy and fortune, we enter into the new auspicious year 1612". Fast forward to the Victorian period and due to technology and the new “penny post”, John Callcott Horsley designed a card for Sir Henry Cole that could be mass produced and sent relatively inexpensively. Originally the cards didn’t contain too much about Christmas and Christmas decor but had flowers, fairies and other designs to point to spring. Some were even quite macabre. Over the years, the cards were reflective of the changes and happenings in society- war related (to send to soldiers), product placement (new fangled car), risque humor- even, (gasp) pressuring the public through advertisement that they needed to send them. When the actual Christmas letter with its recounting the year’s activities started is not known.

The Christmas letter was the pre-Facebook highlight reel of the family. Now, people can post the highlight reel every time they post something to Facebook. I think that the advent of Facebook has warranted the annual letter almost obsolete. Maybe that is why there are more picture/collage type cards? Most people who follow others on Facebook already know what is going on in their lives. (or once again, that is probably just me- I do not understand Facebook and therefore do not follow it.)

I used to hate the Christmas letter and the process of writing one. I still do to some extent. Partly, the letter causes me to reflect back over the year and to think, “What the heck have I done this year?” Usually my internal reply is “You’ve done nothing significant. Once again.” At least compared to the overachievers who would send us their letters before Thanksgiving with details of their saving-the-world actions. To me, the letter was just a blatant, in my face, you are one of the millions living a life of quiet desperation.

My husband on the other hand likes sending and receiving Christmas cards and letters. He pulls out his favorite pen, puts on some Christmas music, pours himself a nice beverage, reads through the cards we have already received and faithfully begins writing his notes and checking off the Christmas card list.

I’ve been thinking- instead of dreading the letter, why not use the opportunity to write (in private) what I might achieve for next year? To make my Christmas 2021 an accounting not of what has passed but an accounting for what the future might hold for 2022? Or at least, what things do I want to accomplish in the next year? Not so much acquisitions or material things, but what about my character, my relationships, and my spiritual state?

What would I tell my future self that I would like come to fruition? Could my year via my Christmas letter look something like this?

---

Greetings friends and family,

I pray all is well with you and yours. Over this past year-

• I listened well to my family and friends.

• I responded to the physical needs of others.

• I appreciated the service personnel and anyone I had to contact in customer service.

• I “used my words” and told the people I care about just what makes each one of them special to me.

• I treated everyone who came across my path with dignity and respect.

• I said hello or nodded or took up a conversation with the stranger I passed along the street.

• I intentionally made myself uncomfortable so that someone else might be comforted.

• I chose quality over quantity in my physical possessions as well as in my relationships and my choice of activities.

• Every day, I tried to be more and more like Christ.

---

What about you? What are your Christmas traditions? What about the Christmas letter? Today, if you were to write your future self a Christmas letter 2022 what would it contain? What would you like to be known for or to have accomplished by next Christmas?

What if our Christmas letters reflected our character? Now wouldn’t that be an interesting letter to give and receive?

Merry Christmas.