The Greatest

Michael Phelps.   The greatest swimmer that ever was.  (To mangle a quote from one of my favorite movies, The Natural)  The most decorated Olympic athlete ever. (18 gold medals and 22 total)   A man with so much: so much potential and so much waste.  Tragic. 

There was an interesting article in Sunday's  New York Times Sports section about Michael Phelps.  He is on a comeback journey. 

In April when my husband and I went to Washington D.C. we also visited the Portrait Gallery.  It has great artwork but is not nearly as crowded as the National Galleries.  Plus it is in the old patent office building which my husband likes. 

There was an exhibit on portraits of various famous individuals- some from entertainment, some from politics, others from sport. For each subject they gave a brief explanation about the person, his/her accomplishments and life.  For Michael Phelps, all the swimming accomplishments were overshadowed by his poor decisions resulting in DUI arrests.  To have all his athletic accomplishments and then to be reduced to one's poor decisions is tragic. 

As his coach told him, " Michael, you have all the money that anybody your age could ever want or need; you have a profound influence in the world; you have free time- and you're the most miserable person I know." 

Part of The New York Times article is describing his comeback and how is on a path to wholeness.  I truly hope that is the case. 

His situation is similar to so many others.  Sure, everything about him is larger than life than most- most people will never achieve the world recognition or fame or wealth, yet the human condition is still the same: we all desire a sense of purpose and a sense that there is something bigger than ourselves and our accomplishments.  As Augustine of Hippo says, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” 

In finding God we find a life bigger than ourselves.  We discover that life is not all about us, not all about our accomplishments and not all about our things.  We find that by humbling ourselves and by serving our fellow humankind we can accomplish far greater things than being the greatest that ever was. 

What about you?  You might not be in Michael Phelps league, but you might feel that you are on a track to destruction. Or that you don't need anyone else's help or support.  Or that you have everything that you could possibly want or desire yet you still feel empty. Do you have a sense of purpose with what you are doing and how you are living your life?   Do you feel that your life is tragic?   If so, have you ever considered looking beyond yourself?  I would suggest that you look to the One who was, is and will always be the greatest- period.  

Give It Up

The other day I was on an excursion to one of my favorite cities to "schmy around".  While there I stopped in the local library.  I can't walk past a book sale. I've always given them a glance. Recently I am always on the look out for art books, writing books and general self-help ones.  

I picked up one that seemed interesting- "Give It up: My Year of Learning to Live Better with Less",  by Mary Carlomagno.  Partly I was curious because in the bio, the author lives in Hoboken, NJ another of my favorite cities and partly because I gravitate to simple living type books.  As the book jacket says, " Like most people, Mary Carlomagno was stressed out, overscheduled, and tripping over the clutter of her days- until she decided to take control and simplify her life.  Each month she renounced one thing: alcohol, shopping, elevators, newspapers, cell phones, dining out, television taxis, coffee, cursing, chocolate and multitasking." 

While there are no real profound truths in the book, it was an easy read and is a good reminder that we all need to take stock of the things that are cluttering our lives.  She does have some interesting observations especially when she refrains from conventional societal norms.  She learns how to stand up for herself and her decisions and not be swayed by the crowd.  

One thing the author does learn is discipline.  She sticks to her plan.  That alone is worth something- to achieve a goal and to see if you have the mettle to do so. By doing so she also becomes stronger knowing that she doesn't fold to peer pressure. She learns self-reliance and has a better understanding of herself.

Books like that have me wonder if I can handle discipline, sacrifice and delayed gratification?  Do I have the fortitude to go the distance?  My worry is that I cannot- after all I am the first one to admit I read the back of the book first. 

First I need to reflect on the things that are getting in my way, that make me feel cluttered, stressed and block my enjoyment in life.  Then I need to try it- to be willing to change, even for a short time and see if doing something differently or eliminating something in my life might make things better. 

Do you feel chronically stressed, anxious, depressed, or angry?  Can you get enough sleep?  Have you done a time management review of your schedule?  Where are you spending your time, energy, resources?  Does that make you feel good or are you resenting it? 

Is there something that is dragging you down that you might consider giving up for a month?  What is it?  What would that look like on your calendar?  For your family?  What could you learn from that?  

Seeing Red

What do you do when you see the dashboard lights?  Ignore them?  Panic?  Pull over right away?  Call your mechanic?  

The other week we had a doozy of a light pop up- the red silhouette of a person with an airbag on its lap.  The message was that the airbag system was malfunctioning.  Oy vey.

I am so sick and tired of red signs and symbols.  First you get all the red circles on your phone- ding, another text message or email.  It is bad enough that the circles are there but in addition to the circle there is the number of unanswered/unopened emails or messages boldly displayed in the middle.  Then there is the blinking light on the answering machine.  Or the power failure for the stove or the dash board light.  Once again reminding you that something is amiss.   

I think the red on the dashboard pushed me over the edge. Enough of these sights and sounds. They all seem to taunt me with the idea that I am not keeping up, doing what I need to do and that I am grossly falling behind.  I feel like I am back in grade school and there is no possibly way I could keep running much less finish the Presidential Fitness Award. I feel that panic that try as I might, my body isn't processing and doing things quickly enough and there is a pack of fitter, more organized, and better individuals out there. 

Just last week my cell phone informed me that I was in danger of running out of storage.   I realized, once again that I was not keeping up with my email or photo management.  

What is a person to do?

I am ready to take a much needed break from technology.  Of course that would greatly affect my writing and my profession.  Many people have jobs where they have to use technology.  There are few options.  Technology is wonderful and in some ways, can make life easier and safer. 

I was discussing this frustration with my family the other night over dinner.  My ever practical son looked at me and wondered what was the big deal. Why couldn't I just see technology as a tool and so then choose when I wanted to use it? 

Touche.  Words that I have said and words that are true but just forgotten when one gets caught up with technology.  I don't have to respond or act right away (unless that dashboard light is screaming that you stop, get out of the car and walk away).  I need to remember that I am in charge of the technology, not the other way around. By definition a tool is a "means to an end" and "may apply to anything necessary to perform a task".  

My nephew has an interesting blog.  Click here to read it.    Over the past week or so, he has had some postings about social media- pros and cons.  I liked his guest writer's opinion about it- looking at technology in the context of addiction, what is feasible and what is not. 

I am going to try and be intentional (that word that I love) in being the one in control of technology rather than the other way around.  Here are some of my ideas: 

• I am trying to stick to a schedule of only checking email a couple of times a day.
• When I do look at emails I will try to respond immediately- either answer it then or delete it. Similar to the old management idea of only touching a piece of mail once- answer, file it or get rid of it. 
• I will take some time each week to organize my electronic files:  move pictures to folders; save (in a folder labeled so I can find) or delete documents.
• I need to put my phone away (nearby but not right on my desk) so that I am not distracted checking messages when I need to be concentrating on work.  This will be a little tricky as I feel that my family needs to get hold of me.  In reality, if there is a little delay it will be okay. 
• At a certain point each day  I need to put the technology down and pick up some low tech- a book, magazine, or paper. 
• Each week I will try and have a technology sabbath.  It might just have to be a part of a day rather than a whole day but still a time when I am away from the computer and cell phone. Generally I feel better when I counterbalance the high tech with the low tech of being outdoors. 

What about you?  Are you bothered by all the blinks, dings, flashing lights and messages of modern devices? Do you find that any type of red marker gets you anxious?  How do you handle it?  What strategies do you employ to keep the technology beast at bay?  Do they work?   

Ordinary Activities or Are They?

Last week on NPR there was a story about gun control.  It was show casing another side of the debate and not just the NRA's view point or lobbying strategy.  The article focused on the partnership behind a grass-root group, "Million Mom Army"  and Michael Bloomberg's vast resources. 

What struck me was how the founder of the "Million Mom Army" or Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, Shannon Watts got involved.  Shannon lives in Zionsville, Indiana, 800 miles away from Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. She was folding laundry for her family when she heard the news on the radio of that fateful day. It affected her.  She thought that she wanted to do something.  Shannon says,  "I was obviously devastated, but I was also angry".

It spurred her to action. She looked online to see if there were any mother groups about guns similarly to Mothers Against Drunk Driving.  When she didn't see anything, she posted something on her Facebook account.  As she says, she only had 75 friends so when she started getting likes from more and more people, eventually over 1 million, she knew that she was on to something.  

It was then that the following caught the attention of the Bloomberg group who, though they had all the top-down  processes in place, didn't have any grass roots footing.  By partnering, the two groups have formed a formidable organization. 

Now I am not going to debate the gun control issues.  But I am inspired that a person was able to hear something on the radio and do something in her own way.  Initially, it wasn't anything too extraordinary nor requiring too much commitment. In fact it was something that she was doing already- commenting on Facebook. It was in her comfort zone.  As she explored more, she got into things that were new to her which I am sure pushed her beyond her capability.  Certainly all the notoriety, like meeting President Obama, etc. was probably not in her mind when she posted her first Facebook notice.  

It made me think of the organizations and activities in my life.  Am I doing anything that affects change?  Has anything resonated with me that keeps niggling at me to do something more?   What is the issue and what can I do about it?  Ignore it?  Find excuses why someone else is better suited?  Recognize that it is not my time for this endeavor and move on?  Or, explore that thought and see where it leads?   Whether or not, Shannon's organization makes strides, she has certainly continued the dialogue of an issue that is not going away.  

What about you?  Have you wanted to do something but wondered how you could be a change agent? Just like Shannon Watts, you might be going about your normal day when something intersects your life.  Explore that idea.   You never know where it will lead and what that calling will do for you and for others. 

Radical Ramblings

In our town there is an weekly alternative newspaper.  Most weeks the articles and subject matter are a little avant garde, even for me.   This past week though there were some thought provoking articles all on the subject of walking, and specifically walking as a mode of transportation in a city. 

In some ways, it still gets me that we look at walking as if we have a choice.  Isn't that how are bodies are made- to move and to move in the form of walking?  Of course we could roll on the ground to where we need to go or we could crawl on our hands and knees but that is not a desirable mode of transport.

One of the articles in the newspaper was written by a self proclaimed radical pedestrian. Whether he truly believes what he wrote or just trying to provoke, he does have some interesting points. When you are traveling at car-speed, sitting and driving in a car, you don't notice your surroundings. "At car-speed, building simply seem 'dilapidated' and people 'loitering' or 'hanging around'."  When you are walking you get to see the surroundings.  You decide to speak or not to speak with another person out on the street.  You have the opportunity to interact with those surroundings and to elevate the inhabitants from "loiterers" to "people with stories, backgrounds, loves and sorrows".  

We saw the difference of car speed vs. bike or walk speed when we travelled through the city on our bikes a couple of weeks ago.  There were some areas that we went through that, if we had traveled by car, would have been seen as a blight in our city.  We would have been anxious to get through that neighborhood and never give it another thought.  Instead, because we were slowly traveling at bike-speed, we were able to have some conversations with the residents.  They were not long, nor deep interactions but they were interactions nonetheless.  The residents asked about our fund raiser and where we had ridden.  As a society, each time we have these little discourses, we strengthen the ties that bind us together.  Each interaction draws  us a little bit closer in community.   

The writer of the newspaper article wonders how much cars have kept our city segregated.  He writes about the frustration of people talking diversity and intersectionality yet no one wants to get out of their cars and interact. "Facebook stokes fears so that people don't want to walk in certain neighborhoods."  The irony is that if people did get out into the streets, the safer the neighborhood would be. 

He also wonders if automobiles have subsidized the suburbs at the expense of the cities.  He feels that if all roads were toll roads in order to reflect the true cost of the automobile- pollution, parking, construction and congestion-  people would think again about walking.  Interesting.  Would that make people think twice about driving?   He poses some radical thoughts. 

I wonder, why does everything have to be extreme in America?  Why can't we embrace and choose a middle road? Why can't we decide that for certain activities we will walk and not use a car?  Especially for those of us that live in a more congested area.  Does it have to come down to government regulation for us to function in the way in which we were designed?  Why can't we decide when we walk and when we use a car?  Yes, a car is certainly very convenient.  (I can tell you that after walking home from the store with heavy grocery bags digging into the palm of my hands and my shoulders.)  And yes, some people do not have the luxury of a car.  (I guess the definition of a car being a luxury or necessity is also another debate.)   

I know for me that walking and bike riding for errands are a conscious choice over just jumping into the car.  I have to think about my schedule, how much time do I have, the weather, the distance, etc. It is not my default mode of thinking (yet) though it is getting there.  I realize that by not making it my first choice, I might be losing out- missing community, interactions and exercise.  

What about you?  Have you ever thought about using another means of transport other than a car to get from here to there?  What is your city or town like?  Do you think that the car has segregated it?  

This week, is there any time or opportunity for you to walk or bike ride instead of using the car for a specific errand?   For instance, getting milk at the convenience store, dropping your kids off at a friend's house or meeting a friend for coffee?  Are you up for some radical ramblings?  

What Are You Intending To Do Today?

When I introduced my then boyfriend (now husband) to my family, my brother asked John in no uncertain terms- "What are your intentions towards my sister?"  Partly he was joking but partly because he truly wanted to know. 

I like the word intention- a determination to act in a certain way and intentionality-the fact of being deliberate.  

Have you ever thought about your intentions?  I like the image of deliberately doing something. The simple definitions for intend are-to plan or have something in mind. It connotes a decision on one's part that only that individual can make. It is the beginning of the process to achieving something.  The Olympic athletes are intentional about their workouts. The practices don't just happen willy-nilly.  Successful people, whether we are talking "worldly" or "spiritual" success, are intentional about their lifestyle- what they do, with whom they interact, where they spend their time. 

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions", is a quote attributed to Samuel Johnson.  (There is debate whether or not it is truly his or perhaps Saint Bernard of Clairvaux). The point of the proverb is this- while it is good to have intentions, there needs to be another step in achieving those goals.  Or to quote another saying- "just do it".   Many of us say we want to do such and such or that we decide this is how we will act, speak, behave, plan, etc. but many times we never proceed with the next step of doing the actual work to achieve it.  We then end up living in the hell of disappointment with ourselves.  "Why can't I get anything done?", we lament. 

Intentionality takes the thought process to another level.  Sure we can formulate a plan or goal in our mind.  I think of intentionality as the grit and deep down determination that we are going to do it.   It is an inner resolve.  It is if in our mind's eye when we are intentionally going to do something we become like Scarlet O'Hara at the intermission portion of Gone With The Wind:  "As God is my witness, I will never go hungry again." 

I was thinking about this word this morning as I was wondering about my own intentions?  Not only what do I want to achieve this summer, but am I intentionally doing things, controlling my schedule, choosing activities and work that pushes me along the path of my purpose and plans? 

What can I intentionally do today that would move me along my purpose?

One thing about which I need to be intentional is working in community- reaching out to friends, family and neighbors.  As I have mentioned before I am basically shy and introverted (Some of you might be surprised by my declaration. Yes, I can certainly meet and greet people and do enjoy people but left to my own devices I am more the observer than the participant)  I need to reach out to others in a way that is fitting for my personality (one on one, notes of encouragement, etc.)

I will be intentional:

1. Sending encouraging emails or notes to those whose names have been on my heart
2. Looking for ways to speak to my neighbors more than the precursory wave
3. Treating my writing as a full time job

What about you?  What are your intentions?  First name them.  But then next, how will you go about doing them? What intentional actions can you do?  Are there any resolutions in your life that you will, "As God is your witness, never or always do..."  What can you do each day to remind yourself of your resolve and intentions?   What are you intending to do today?

House Ready or Not?

The houses on both sides of us are for sale.  I was telling someone that the other day and I didn't realize how bad that makes us as neighbors until I noticed the raised eyebrow and the "Uh huh.  And this doesn't have anything to do with you?"  Innocently I said no but then it occurred to me that not every one loves a working (aka, barking) terrier.  

One of the houses is listed online and is typical of all nosy neighbors (come on, be honest, you know that you would too) we looked at the listing and the pictures.  The thing that struck me- "Where was all their stuff?"  My son who has spent some time there babysitting their children, said "Wow, that looks totally different." The house looked lovely, like a place from HGTV or a glossy decorating magazine but it also looked sterile.  Where was the lived-in look, the photos, the kitschy knickknacks from travels abroad, the books and papers?  It made me look at our home in a whole different light.

Actually I almost felt sick to my stomach thinking what would happen if we tried to sell our home?  We have so many undone projects and things that are particular to this quirky house. There couldn't possibly be anyone out there that would have the same preference as we once did and who would want to pay a nice price for it.

It also struck me that with all the staging and sprucing up, why don't we live like that always?  Is it just a fantasy that everyone buys into with the real estate game?  Of course, everyone wants to have a linen closet with perfectly stacked sheets and towels with plenty of shelf space so that you actually see the shelf.  No one really lives with shelves stuffed beyond capacity so that the linens are actually so packed they can stay wedged in open space between the front wall and the shelf. 

I also felt sick to my stomach of gluttony of household items.  Do we really need all those plates in the kitchen?  Can we get rid of some of our chairs?  Can't I put all of my clothes in the closet rather than schlepping the seasonal clothes in and out of neighboring bedroom closets? 

What if I only had in my house those things that were useful and beautiful (to misquote William Morris) and only one set or one item?  What would it look like if I parred down my belongings?  What if I got the house ready to sell but then enjoyed living in it? 

I am ready (almost) to try a challenge: Can I systematically go room by room, ruthlessly getting rid of those things that I don't love or don't use.  (One of the questions to ask- if I had a fire and this item was burned, would I replace it?)  What if I removed the unnecessary items, like I was staging the home for sale?  (Even though I do go through our rooms periodically, I never have been really hard core in my decision keep/throw out tree.)

I don't know if I can actually get rid of everything so I might just put in a labeled box in the basement.  A tip from professional organizers is to label the box "Give to Goodwill by December 2017" and if you haven't looked in the box by then, you haven't missed it so get rid of it. 

If going through a room is too much, try a section of it.  I have read that it is a good exercise to clear a shelf or mantel or wall of decoration and just live with the blankness for a while.  When you start putting things back, try the William Morris test of usefulness and beauty. 

I think there must be a fine line between living in the "staged" house setting and living in a pigsty. I don't want to live in a sterile environment but it would be nice not to feel that I am being suffocated with "stuff". 

What about you?  Is your house ready to sell?  What would your home look like if it was?  Would you like living in that setting or would you feel like you were missing something?  Would you want to try the house ready challenge? 

Parks for All

This past weekend my husband, our other son and I rode in a local fund raiser- Tour dem Parks - which is a bicycle ride to raise funds for our city's parks and recreation department.  It was fun to tour parts of our city that I have never seen.  The ride is certainly a lot smaller than the one we did in NYC but a good time was had by all nonetheless.

It is funny.  I guess because as this was a ride in our hometown I was more observant, aka"picky", on the condition of the roads, the state of the buildings and the general environment.  When I was going through the different boroughs in NY, I hardly saw any specifics as I was taking in everything that I saw.  

It is similar to how I am with hospitality.  When I am at someone else's home I take in the overall ambience but don't even notice anything specifically.  (If they apologize for things not quite right, I do not even notice)  However, if they were to come to my house, I would notice my chipped paint around the door frame or the layer of dust on the piano. 

So the thing that I noticed on the ride were the neighborhoods that were run down, complete with trash strewn about, tall weeds growing in cracks in the concrete, and boarded up buildings. I noticed the areas where all the surfaces have concrete- from road, sidewalk to areas surrounding homes and apartment buildings.  Not a green space anywhere. These pockets of neighborhoods are some distances from the parks. Since we rode from park to park, I got a good idea of the distance it would take to travel there. I wonder where do the kids play or if they play at all? 

The view overlooking one of the city's first "gentrification"- the inner harbor area. 

It got me thinking about "gentrification", that new word that means more than cleaning up an area.  Contained in the word is the sequence of events- clean up an area, fix the sidewalks, roads, ensure that services are provided on a regular basis like trash pickup, sell the property to developers, remodel the warehouses, homes, tenant buildings, public housing to high priced stores, houses with futuristic looking interiors, sleek office buildings and condos.  Anything remotely public, meaning free or less expensive, is gone. 

I recently read an article about the gentrification in another city.  When the author was reporting about the changes to the neighborhood, he overheard some local kids asking the developers about the new plantings.  When it was explained that the trees and shrubbery were part of the new building plan one of the kids turned to the others and said, "See I told you.  The trees aren't for us." 

How sad.  

Why aren't the trees and any type of neighborhood beautification for the residents?  Can't trees and green spaces be for all citizens, not just the elite few who can afford it?   Certainly when many of the faded and run down parks we rode through, were first built they were done so during the era of civic duty and public spiritedness-  getting outside in the fresh air with trees and grass was a good thing for all city dwellers. 

I think it still is.  I think that cities should do more with their parks, not to "gentrify" an area making another pocket of wealthy citizens.  Rather maintaining green spaces in all areas of the city because all citizens deserve to have nature surrounding them.  If I had the money, I would like to fund a study seeing the effects of green spaces on city dwellers: what would be the violence rate in an area with parks versus one that just had concrete. 

Seems to me it doesn't have to take loads of money to have some space that is beautiful.  It doesn't take much for neighborhoods to pick up trash, pull some weeds and plant a few trees and flowers.  But just because a neighborhood cleans itself up, doesn't mean that it needs to be bought and redesigned.  The original neighbors should have a space that is affordable and pleasing. 

Taken from the "pagoda" at one of the parks (drawing rendition on the front of the t-shirt).  This park is "gentrified" on one side while the other is still struggling. 

What about you?  Do you see "gentrification" in your neighborhood?  Perhaps you bought into an area that has been recently "gentrified".  How is it?  Or are you living in a place that just needs to be cleaned up?  Are there places where you can volunteer for clean up of the local park?  Do you need to evaluate your own home and your own green space?  Do you have a lawn, trees, flowers or anything that is remotely green?  

Well Balanced

This past week we have experienced some very windy conditions.  The wind comes in these great gusts that turn the leaves of the trees inside out.  There are many fallen branches and leaf debris on the sidewalks, streets and in the gutters.  In the corner of our front garden is a fifteen year old butterfly bush.  I have pruned it over the years but I must admit, not very well.  Consequently it is about 10 feet tall with an umbrella-like branch structure emerging from a gnarly wooded trunk.  When I say umbrella-like, it is more like one of those discarded umbrellas found pushed up against fences in alleys- opened on one side and half bent on the other. 

The thing is, in looking at the bush, it appeared to be fine.  Sure, it didn't have complete symmetry but that created some interest.  Unfortunately I never realized how precarious the bush was.  I didn't realize how much my inept pruning was weakening the plant. 

It was only when I was out watering when I thought it seemed strange that the white hydrangea bush (which was under the butterfly bush) was looking squashed.  Turns out the entire butterfly bush was blown over in the wind storms.  It was just barely hanging on the the trunk by a small connection.  The only thing I could do to "save" the bush was to cut through the tear and hope that I didn't cut back too much of the bush. 

The bush was unbalanced hence it didn't have the ability to withstand the mighty winds.  

What a great metaphor for our lives: when we are not balanced in our life we are easily toppled over.  Some of the things that we do might not appear to be weakening our lives (like my asymmetrical pruning) and in fact might look okay.  It is only when conditions change, generally beyond our control, and the storms of life toss us to and fro that we realize being off balanced puts our survival, aka sanity, in jeopardy. 

Our lives end up looking like the discarded umbrella- not much good to anyone let alone ourselves. 

I have been feeling unbalanced with my schedule lately-spending too much time with certain endeavors while neglecting others. It makes me feel anxious and agitated.  I am in no position to be productive for anyone else let alone myself.   When I receive a flurry of requests of my time, I feel like I will just collapse under the weight and force of the appeal for my time. 

What about you?  How balanced is your life? Do you feel that you are leaning in one direction over another?  Is it a temporary situation or has it become so gradual that it is now a permanent feature in your life?  How can you recover balance?   Do you need to prune some things out of your life: saying no to things that are taking over in your schedule?  Do you need to say yes to other things in order to allow that "side" of you to grow? 

I don't know about you, but I don't want my life to become like the discarded umbrella. I want to become a person who is strong, steady, resilient and useful. 

Watch Your Language

How is your emotional vocabulary?  When asked how you feel, do you answer, "I feel like sh*t". Or are you more precise in your experiences, "I am feeling gloomy or desperate or agitated."? 

I just read an article describing "emotional granularity" which is the description for those people who have finely tuned feelings. They have precise language to explain the how and why of their feelings and experience.   For example, instead of feeling sad about climate change, these folks might feel alarm tinged with sorrow or regret for a species facing extinction.  This feeling might spur on some type of action, e.g. writing a letter to a congressman.  Even if an action doesn't occur, the fact that there is a specific feeling evoked is better than the general, "I feel bad and therefore am just depressed about life in general." As the article states, "... people who learn diverse concepts of emotion are better equipped to create more finely tailored emotions."

Turns out that those people who have that diverse concept which is demonstrated through their word choices, have better resilience to those things that are troubling us.  They can handle more stress and "bad news" whether is is personal or societal because they can clearly identify and "compartmentalize" the feeling. When we are able to clearly identify the feeling we don't get so bogged down with generalities.  There is more of a feeling of "I can do something about this" because the feeling is broken down into a specific focus.  Plus, if you can share specifically what is bothering you, it makes it easier for those who care about you to know what to do and say. 

Of course, there are times when the only words to describe how we feel is, "I feel like sh*t." but I think it is worth looking into learning a more precise language.  It may or may not help us cope but we certainly will sound not so much like we woke up in the gutter. 

What about you?  How's your emotional vocabulary?  Do you need to learn some new words?  Click on to the below list and try incorporating a new word into your vocabulary.  As we have said before, we will always have stress in our lives.  It is how we deal with it that sets us apart.  I am all for watching my language if it can help me live a better life.  

Here is a list of  100 words to describe different feelings. 

What is Your Chief Aim?

If you were pursuing joy in your life, what would that look like?  What activities, things, goals would you pursue? Would that pursuit brings you joy?  What brings meaning into your life? Are you actively seeking it out? 

When I think of joy I think of the Westminster Catechism:  "What is the chief aim of man?  To know God and to enjoy Him forever."  

Granted, the language is a little archaic but I think the lesson is spot on.  If only we would truly learn it:  It is through knowing God that our lives fall into place.  We recognize how He wants us to live and how He wants us to enjoy our lives.  Unfortunately there are many who feel that God is a kill joy waiting for us to mess up so that He can do all sorts of bad things to us.  

I do not think so.  Jesus claimed that He came to bring life and to bring it abundantly.  In the Old Testament, the writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us that "however many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all".  God wants us to enjoy our lives. 

 I think God takes pleasure and joy out of His creation.  If not, why would He create the platypus, the giraffe or a dog?  All of these can bring smiles to our faces.  If those things like the birds of the air and the flowers in the field bring delight to Him, how much more does He take pleasure in us, the creature He created in His own image?

And if He created all that fun and delight doesn't He want us to experience the same? 

There is joy in that.  Joy in the knowledge of God.  Joy in the knowledge that He is in control regardless of our current situation.  Joy in letting Him guide our lives.  Joy in serving Him with our talents, thoughts, treasures and time.  Joy in finding our purpose through Him. Joy in the knowledge that God brings meaning to our lives and with it, so much delight. 

The Little Red Hen

Somedays I feel like the little red hen. 

Do you remember the story?  A little red hen finds some seeds.   When she asks her friends, "Who will help me plant these seeds?", "Not I" is the reply from the goose, duck, pig and cat.  She continually asks them for help each step of the process of turning the seeds into grain and then into bread.  "Not I" is still the response.  Only when she is all done with her labors of planting the seeds, harvesting the grain, and finally baking the bread can she rest.  She asks her friends, "Who will help me eat the bread?" When she gets a resounding, "I will", she declines their help telling them that since they didn't help during the preparation they will not be able to have the results from the labor. 

The moral of the story is to reinforce a strong work ethic and remind that if one hasn't contributed to the product, then one shouldn't benefit from it.  It also reiterates that if one doesn't receive any help, to soldier on and to be as independent as possible. 

Strong work ethic and independence- excellent personality traits, Right? 

Yes, we would say.  Definitely the back bone of our society.  Yet I wonder if it is the best course of response in situations?  The thing is, it is exhausting being the little red hen. Not only does she physically do all the work but she is emotionally looking, tallying and keeping track of who is helping her along the way. 

Of course there is some righteous indignation on the hen's part and rightly so. The story speaks to our sense of fairness and deserved-ness.  If you do not put in the time you cannot receive a reward.  Certainly that is true in disciplining oneself - whether one is an athlete or musician. 

And, there is a time constraint in her endeavor.  Seeds have to be planted and harvested at certain times of the year. If one is to have bread in the fall, the seeds have to grow in the spring. If she sat around waiting for the help, she would never get the project off the ground.

Much as I identify with the little red hen I don't really like her attitude.  She seems standoffish and judgmental.  Almost as if she is already going into the endeavor with the expectation that no one will help her and she goes through the motion of asking for help just to prove her point.  Not very attractive.

At times like these I am reminded of Psalm 22:11- "Be not far from me, for trouble is near and there is none to help".  The psalmist starts out with telling God exactly how he feels- alone, forsaken, full of self-pity, feeling totally washed out and used up, exhausted with no one to help him.  As he cries out to God and has an honest discussion with Him, the psalmist finally comes to the conclusion that God is the one who listens and helps.  Psalm 22: 24- "For He has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; and He has not hid his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to Him. " God knows what the psalmist is experiencing and He cares.  He hears. He sees and He provides. 

When I feel like the little red hen, I need to lift my eyes beyond myself and the situation and be thankful; for the seeds, for the potential of help, for the growth of the seeds and for the bread and nourishment that will be provided. 

What about you?  Ever identify with the little red hen?  Or do you more identify with the psalmist?  How do you handle it when you feel that there is no one to help?  What is your attitude?  Do you effortlessly handle the situation with grace?  Do you rely on God's strength to get through regardless of help from others? Do you wish you could? 

I know that I am trying.  I think more than a strong work ethic and independence, I am trying to cultivate a continual grateful attitude and a complete dependency on God. 

What Are You Learning?

I have noticed that in interviews of celebrities or accomplished people, the interviewer will ask, "what are you reading?"  Or, sometimes they will ask, "what are you planning on doing next?" 

I think an important question is to wonder, "what are you learning?"  Are you learning something, anything? It might be book knowledge or life knowledge. It might be something seemingly small but significant to you.  Or, it might be a long-time-coming achievement.  Whatever the learning process and goal is, it is important to reflect on what you may have learned because I think it speaks to wanting to be open, vulnerable and ready to receive information.  

Sometimes we don't actively seek learning it just happens.  It is only on stepping back can we see the journey and the strides we have or have not made. 

These last two months have been such a blur to me. In some ways there hasn't been any time for reflection yet in other ways I feel that all I have been doing is spinning ideas, memories and thoughts in my head: I have had the once in a lifetime loss of a mother, the continuation of a creative venture, the yearly organization process of a volunteer endeavor and a new (to me) competitive tennis team.  

Things I have learned or are learning thus far: 

1. To speak with a lower pitch, slower speed and single thought regardless if the one listening is hard of hearing.
2. Concentrate fully at the task at hand, aka keep my eye on the ball, especially in a competitive tennis match.
3. Compartmentalize the things that need to be done.  One thing at a time and fully engage in that one thing. 
4. Decide on what is important and forget about the rest.
5. Sleep is overrated (too much time for memories) and under performed (back to the too much thinking).
6. Daily Bible reading is essential.
7. Continual prayer throughout the day is much needed.
8. Iced coffee is a great after lunch treat and pick me up.
9. Losing a mother is one way to lose weight but not recommended.
10. Even though one can be a ready-made crier with any emotional issue, through preparation and the power of prayer, one can get through a memorial service and reception.
11. Good friends are the ones who check in with you even after all the condolences have been said.

What about you?  What has been going on in your life lately?  What lessons have you been (or are) learning?  Any of those lessons becoming long-term habits or values?  What would you like to learn?  How can your lesson be a help or encouragement to another? 

The Pursuit of Joy

There are lots of articles and discussions about the pursuit of happiness.  There are even movies about it.  But I am always struck with the two words:  happiness and joy.  I question, is there a difference between the two?  If so, why?  What is the more meaningful word?  How does one pursue either happiness or joy?  More importantly, is it worth pursuing? 

A dictionary definition of happiness is “a state of well-being, a pleasurable or satisfying experience.” The definition of the word “rejoice,” from which our word “joy” comes, is “to feel great delight, to welcome or to be glad.” 

Perhaps since I am coming from a Christian point of view, I see joy as a more theological and eternal state of mind whereas I see happiness as a secular and temporal one.  In this life so much is advertised that an object- a new car, clothing, drink, home- will be the thing that make us happy and provide the state of well-being.  The question becomes when the external item, aka the object, is no longer new or goes away.  What happens to happiness?

I see joy as something that is more permanent.  One can be internally joyful even in the midst of external chaos. Joy appears to be at peace with the external surroundings. If the surroundings change, joy remains the same. 

According to the dictionary definitions, it doesn't appear to be that much of a difference between the two words.  But I think so.  Happiness might be a state of being, but it seems almost passive.  It appears to be reactionary.  I am happy when I experience something pleasurable or satisfactory.  Kind of like the thermometer.  The thermometer registers the temperature around it. It doesn't have any input in changing the degrees, just reacts to the air molecules.

Joy on the other hand is active, a conscious state of being, an action of "to welcome or to be glad".  One has to be proactive to practice joy.  It reminds me of the thermostat.  A thermostat is set for the temperature one wants.  The thermostat controls the environment (turning the heat or AC on and off depending upon the temperature). In a sense it is pro-active in achieving the results. 

I know that my example of our Jack Russell is a little far fetched. (pardon the pun) However, I do think we can learn a lot from animals and their response to their environment. Sure, all animals react to what is going on around them: put food down in front of them and they will eat, call them to come for a treat or a scratch behind the ears and they will come.  Yet, our pets seem to take pleasure, almost rejoicing in whatever situation is put before them.  I don't think there is too much thought on what has happened in the past (certainly, there is no consequential learning when the dog in question eats something disagreeable- like a bowl of rising dough- and attempts to do it again forgetting the past groaning and discomfort.)  Nor is there too much thought to the future. 

Our dogs live in the present. They enjoy each moment as it arises.

So too can we consciously choose to live in the moment and to proactively seek joy.   I am choosing this day to enjoy each moment.  Whether that is being stuck in traffic, attending at a difficult aka boring meeting, having to do a disagreeable work task or spending time with one of my favorite Jack Russells. I am determined to learn how to pursue and practice joy in my life: to be present and mindful of each moment and to proactively choose to be glad regardless of the circumstances.  

What about you?  

And here is my living example of practicing being present in the moment.  He can lie like that for a good five minutes without moving his legs.  We call him doing his "cat" atonic pose. 

Be Ye Kind

There is a community senior center in our area called  BYKOTA.  I always wondered about that name. Was is some type of Native American tribe that had lived in our area?  Was it the name of the founder of the center?  Turns out it is the acronym for the Bible verse, "Be Ye Kind, One To Another."  As it so happens, not bad advice on learning to live in community.

Lately I have not been kind to myself.  As you may have realized from previous blogs that my mom passed away suddenly about two months ago.  In the aftermath with all the administrative things, scheduling appointments and general care of my father, I have been extremely busy and have had to take a hiatus from my work. (reason for my irregular blog postings)  While schedules are still not "normal" for me and I wonder if they ever will become "normal", I have not had time to "grieve"- whatever that means or looks like.  As typical for most people, I have had to keep going and do the next task set before me. 

Last week was one of the first times things were a little more quiet for me.  Of course, as I tried to write I was completely dry, totally blank and didn't have one ounce of inspiration.  I felt exhausted, unfocused and agitated.  I tried "jump starting" my work, giving myself pep talks and advice.  Again I felt agitated and upset.   It dawned on me that I was working out my grieve and that I needed to not fight my experience but just let things unfold as they were happening to me.  

A dear friend offered me some advice on being kind to myself.  After all, if I knew of a person going through a similar situation as I have been, wouldn't I tell them to be kind to themselves and to let themselves have a little break from expectations and work?   

Of course she was right.  Funny, I can give others lots of grace and understanding but for myself I am a grueling task master.  Generally I am kind one to another but not to myself.

My journey through this time of loss is continually teaching me things:

1) Be Ye Kind, One To Another.  (BYKOTA)  Even though I have had at times, some words with family members, I am learning to be kind to them as they too are grieving the loss of a loved one. I am learning that everyone responds and reacts differently to loss and that is okay. 

2) Be Ye Kind, Also To Yourself (BYKATY)  It always seems that we forget the second part of the statement of loving one another as we love (and should love) ourselves.  We are so quick to not appear to be selfish that we get the balance wrong; either we are extremely selfish and forget the part of loving our neighbor or we feel that we are not worthy of loving ourselves and therefore do everything for another.  In doing so we can become shells of ourselves.  We end up with no substance and no support which in turn doesn't help anybody.   

3) Build in some margin into your life.  Even though my work has been disrupted, I am grateful that my schedule is flexible enough and that I had some built-in wiggle room so that I can help out with my extended family when needed.  I am trying to focus on that gratitude and not be focused on begrudging the time spent away from my work.

4) Do something that brings you joy.  I love working in the garden. Mostly I like playing with rocks, dirt and mulch and would be happy "planting" a hardscape with combinations of the three. Occasionally the softscape of plants will accommodate me by their blooming.  There are certain areas and little vignettes of plants in my garden that bring a smile to my face.  Every time I walk past the entrance to the back yard, I smile when I see the iris, blue Russian sage, shasta daisies against the willow fencing.  Makes me think of our time in Oxford. 

5) Whatever you are doing, practice the presence of being present.  I am learning to not be distracted with what has happened in the past nor what I need to do for the future.  I am trying to be present when I am with others- attentively listening and responding to their needs.  I am trying to concentrate solely on the task at hand and to relax and enjoy each moment. 

What about you?  Have you ever gone through a period of grief?  What did that look like?  Were you kind to others?  Kind to yourself?  What did you do to be kind?  

Be Ye Kind:  BYKOTA and  BYKATY.

Standing on the deck overlooking part of the back yard, patio and pond.  Rose bushes are just beginning to explode in color and scent. 

Changing Habits

In Sunday's New York Times Magazine there was an interesting article about habits.  There is a study published in the Frontiers in Human Neuroscience journal suggesting that it might be better to give up your bad habits all at once rather than one a time.  The subjects were college students.  Half were left to continue their lifestyle practice while the other half were subjected to a strict regiment of exercise, mindfulness, stress reduction techniques and lectures regarding sleep habits and nutrition.  After six weeks the students subjected to the lifestyle overhaul reported feeling happier and calmer, they were fitter and more flexible and brain scans indicated that they were more focused.  Following the students for another six weeks but not doing any intervention, showed that those who had the initial lifestyle overhaul were still functioning better even though they were not required to demonstrate any of the new changes.

There are many questions to this study- Is the sample size (N=31) significant to infer any generalizations? How can you control for everything when dealing with active college students (dormitory arrangements, financial stress for cost (working while attending), social relationships (dating), type of course work?  However, it does initiate an interesting dialogue. 

My experience in coaching others is that it is more sustainable to work on one thing at a time and to let that one thing become the norm so that there are less items on which to work. Kind of like laying down layers of a good habit foundation.  When a new habit is formed, developed and ingrained in one's lifestyle practice it then becomes harder to default back to the old ways. When multiple habits change at the same time, I would suggest that they are not as deeply rooted into someone's psyche and consequently would be easier to uproot. If stressors affect a person's life, the habits that are still in the seedling stage can easily be trampled. 

I think this study does raise the point that when one changes one habit it does impact another. I have heard other coaches say that when they notice someone getting their finances in order, their weight also seems to be managed better and visa versa.  The correlation among habits stems from the fact that once we decide to work on a habit, we are committing to a process of discipline.  Part of the word discipline means: "the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior.."  As in many things in life, once we see how one type of behavior is effective, we can transpose that process into other areas. 

What about you?  Have you ever learned new behavior or practiced a different lifestyle habit?  What did that look like?  Did you change by one behavior at a time or did you totally revamp your lifestyle?  If you have always wanted to change some unhealthy habits, what do you think you could do to achieve that?  Do you need more information on the best way to go about the change?  Do you first need to name and recognize the problem?  Do you need more discipline in your life?  

Ways to incorporate change into your life:

1) Evaluate how things are currently going for you.  On a scale of 1-10 (best), how would your rate your total wellness (body, mind, spirit)?

2) Identify the areas that are lower on the scale or the ones on which you want to work.

3) Set a goal for yourself.  Break that goal down into smaller doable parts. If it takes a couple of smaller goals to add up to the bigger one, so much the better.  I would certainly advise that if one was trying to lose weight (one of the most frequently stated goals for people).  It would be better to say that you wanted to lose 10 pounds in a year (approximately 1 pound a month) and keep it off for that year than to say you want to lose 5 pounds by the summer time. 

4) Find an "accountability" partner- someone who can encourage you to get back on track when you might have those stressors chipping away at your newly developing habit. 

5) Reevaluate your habit.  Once it is incorporated into your lifestyle, revisit and give yourself pats on your back for learning and sticking to something new.  Recognizing what you have accomplished in the past can help encourage you to work on some other type of habit in the future. 

(One thing that I am working on is learning  that I do not have to kill myself trying to get things done in one day.  For example, I used to almost physically cripple myself in getting our gardens mulched and cleaned for the season. I would scurry around pulling weeds, edging sides and throwing mulch down that I would never enjoy the chore much less the beauty of the garden.   It was something that needed to get done so that I could move on to something else.  Plus I would complain bitterly.

My goal is to learn to enjoy the process, the garden and to just work on it in little chunks of time.  For some that would be a no brainer, but for me, to put away the garden tools and leave the garden with items still to be done, was and is, a big learning curve.  Feeling that I had to have it "finished" was stressing me to the point that every time I would look at our backyard I would get anxious.  

So, I am giving myself only an hour or two to work on the yard and then giving myself permission to walk away until the next time.  I have reframed gardening as a process and an activity rather than a once and done project.  By doing so I am enjoying myself and the garden as it unfolds.  And, my son knows that I am trying to do smaller chunks of time in the garden and so reminds me that it is time to stop.  I am hopeful that my new habit is going to stick and that I can practice this "continuation of activity" in other areas: no longer will I have to wear myself out in trying to get everything done at once.) 

Bad News

What do you do when you hear bad news?  Cry?  Stomp your feet?  Give up? Shake your fist at God? Automatically counter with good news? Hide behind busy-ness?  Numb yourself with alcohol or pills? Refuse to listen? Deny that anything is happening? 

Some days it seems as if every where you turn, everyone has bad or sad news. Life is tough and it doesn't get any easier with age. Probably it is statistical in nature- the more years you live, the more people you encounter and the more problems you witness. 

Some days I want to cry out to the universe - "Enough already!  Do we have to have all this sorrow and angst in the world? Can't something good happen spontaneously?"

Generally in those moments I don't get any response. It is for me an exercise to blow off steam and to realize that is just how life is at the moment.  

With every situation of bad news, there can be an analysis: Could something have been prevented?  Was this a case of poor choices?  Did the person not seek help earlier?  The list can go on and on.  Many times, the bottom line is that the situation is horrible.  There was/is nothing that could/should have been done.  And it stinks.

I have also come to the realization that I might question God and wonder what the heck is He doing but ultimately in my soul I know that He is in control.  As much as I may rally against Him at times, I know that He is patiently loving me as I cry out in anguish. 

I think of stories in the Bible when there was horrible news and horrible situations for individuals yet God was right there for His people.  I am sure the moments when Daniel was condemned to the lion's den or his friends to the fiery furnace there was some fist shaking at God from family members.  Or  the story of Joseph being sold into slavery and all the terrible encounters (Potiphar's wife's  accusation and then sitting in jail for years) he had to face. By all accounts Joseph did nothing to cause the problems that occurred in his life.   There may have been a "why me?" thought from Joseph but we never see that.  He recognizes that even though his brothers might have meant harm, God used that situation for good.  Ultimately in all the troubles and trials of the Bible characters, God's plans were accomplished.

While I do find comfort in knowing that God is in control, my heart goes out to those experiencing difficulties.  Words of encouragement for them can be hollow and seemingly pat.  I realize that in my heart I need to pray for them and their situation and pray that my words, if I share them, may be what they need to hear at the time. I know that when I go through tough times it is comfort to have the presence and concern of people who care. 

What about you?  Who can you comfort by your presence and prayerful words?  Are you going through a rough patch?  Is there any way you can view your situation with the lens of perspective?  Or do you need time to just be in your situation and to give yourself permission to cry out to God and tell Him that the situation stinks. Bad news is as it sounds- bad.  But it won't always be that way and that is good news. 

Stink Bugs, Security & Smart Phones

As I was cleaning the screened porch the other day I noticed a small dark blot on the screen.  Upon closer inspection I realized, "Yikes, they are back."  It was a brown mamorated stink bug, the relatively new invader to our area of the country having initially come from Asia.  At first, it was thought to have no natural predators and so has become quite prolific.  There has been some evidence that katydids, crickets, ground beetles, earwigs and jumping spiders are eaters of stink bug egg masses. Glad that they are adapting to this new diet but they have a lot of work to do.  It took me a while to remember a time when we did not have stink bugs walking on every screen and flat surface of the porch. 

It made me think of other things that have changed seemingly quickly in our lives. I started reminiscing what it was like before 9/11 and all the security;  walking unattended into a museum, theater or sports game with no handbag check by a tired looking security person and his stick poking into the bottom of one's handbag;  sharing a meal with your loved one in the "tickets only" area before an airline departure; being at the end of the jet bridge ready with a hug, kiss and flowers for your family members as they walked out of the plane.  In some ways it is hard to remember a time without suspicion and looking at all whom you meet in a crowd as a possible terrorist. Yet I do find that there is a collective "we are in this togetherness" whenever I have had to stand in line for some type of security detail. 

Do you remember phone trees? They were especially helpful if you had to impart some information to a collection of people. Everyone in the group was on a specific list.  When the first person on the list received the information, he/she was to call the next person in order and relay that message and so on until the end of the list.  Group emails vastly changed that tedious work.  

Just over a decade ago when I did substitute nursing in the public schools, it seemed like a big time saver to have an automated call system.  No longer would an individual have to make multiple back and forth phone calls to find a replacement. The computer made the phone calls and all the substitute would have to do was push a numerical phone button to say "yes".  I am sure that by now, the "at the time high-tech" system was short-lived with the advent of universal smart phones and texts.  

Or, do you remember having to use email that required that you had to go online to your server, sign on, wait for the dial up connection, usually try again and finally "you got mail" would be heard. The use of texting and automatic email to one's phone has really quickened communication.  

Seems to me we do adapt to things whether we like the change or not.  I think that we can find positive and negative with any change. And, as in the case of the communication via smart phones, some change is an improvement. 

What about you?  What do you remember?  I won't call them the "good ole days" because I think every day has components of good and bad.  There are things that are nice to remember and possibly resurrect or at least try to do every once and awhile (e.g. sending a hand-written note to someone).  But as you reflect on the past and changes, what benefits have you experienced due to that change?  What situation (s) are you going through now that might require some change?  Can you find some type of benefit to the change? Maybe embracing the change will help in embracing the future.  My world might now contain annoying stink bugs, but I am sure unforeseen that it was, that if I asked katydids or crickets, they would say that the stink bug diet change is good.  

Dandelions

The lowly dandelion.  The bane of existence for lawn aficionados.  The inexpensive green for foodies.  In every gardening book that I have, dandelion is classified as a weed.  The only exception are my wild flower and plant guides.  They have all sorts of tidbits and positive attributes about these plants. Raw dandelion greens are packed with Vitamin A, thiamine, riboflavin, ascorbic acid as well as calcium, sodium and potassium. "...the lowly dandelion was so highly regarded as a tonic and general remedy by frontiersmen and early settlers long before the days of vitamin pills." (Field Guide to Edible Wild Plants, Bradford Angier)

I decided to pick some dandelions.  They are certainly a beautiful yellow color although looking a little more subdued than usual due to our wet weather conditions.  A dandelion flower is comprised of the yellow pedals resting on a verdant cup, composed of slender, pointed, green leaves, a few of which twist backward toward the cylindrical stem.  At night or during wet weather, the leaves of the cup lift and cover the gilded petals with their greenery.  Their heads are compact and they even have a nice scent reminiscent of marigolds.  Wonder why they got such a bad rap?  They are prolific, are edible, have medicinal use and are beautiful.  According to one source they were intentionally introduced to remind the Europeans of home. 

They sit on my desk as a reminder that even though there may be pesky and (seemingly) prolific problems in my life there is always something good about each trouble.  The problem may just me, needing to reexamine the situation.  I may need to get some perspective on what ails me.

Or, I need to try and take the problem out of context, (e.g. "If this was happening to a friend, what would I suggest or say...") What I think may be an ugly weed may have some beautiful and intricate details. Perhaps the situation is one to help me grow or cause me to be prolific in another way. (e.g. "I am learning patience...")  

Dandelions are a terrible weed problem if you don't remove them before they go to seed. What if you picked the flowers before they set seed?  Wouldn't that eliminate its spreading?  Plus you have the added benefit of a pleasant looking nosegay.  How many problems would be eliminated if I "nipped it, or certain behavior contributing to the problem, in the bud"? 

What about you?  Do you have a prolific and pesky problem in your life?  Is it like a dandelion gone to seed- all it needs is a gentle breeze, a slight change in the atmosphere and the problem is multiplied?  Is there a way you can embrace the situation?  Look at it from another lens or perspective?  Can you "nip it in the bud" before things become a total mess?  Is there a way you can embrace the beauty of a difficult situation? 

It's The Little Things...

A while back  I attended a lecture by the CEO and Dean of Medicine at one of our nation's top hospital/medical school.   He was talking about the future of medicine.  It was fascinating to hear not only what will be coming down the path in the next twenty years but also to hear the history of medical breakthrough.  According to him, the average lifespan for the first 199,000 years of human existence (give or take a couple thousand of years) was about forty-five years of age.  In the last 100 years we have seen life expectancy almost double- at least in the "developed" countries.  Many things play into that, good public health policies, cleanliness and vaccinations as well as the role of modern technology.

He reiterated how key it is to have basic research.  To be researching small, seemingly insignificant findings that develop and lead into larger medical applications.   For instance, he spoke of the research in looking at the phosphorescence of jelly fish.  It is one of those phenomenas that just happen, that was overlooked as something small and that no one thought about it.  One might think that is a waste of National Institutes of Health money exploring these creatures but in essence that green glow from the jelly fish has enabled scientists to track brain functioning which in turn can benefit those people with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and other neurological diseases. 

Made me think of the little things in life and how important they truly are:  Fresh ingredients are key to a healthy meal.  Please and thank-you's are the back-bone of manners and civility.  Daily sleep and rest are essential to proper mental functioning.  Weeding is mandatory for a tame and plant identifiable garden. Learning a little information over a sustained period of time is better retained than through an intense cramming session. Watching the ball upon contact with the racquet is essential in getting the ball over the net.  

What about you?  Have you noticed the little things in your life?  Are they necessary? Or do you find them insignificant?  What small steps can you develop in your life that might benefit you in the long run?  Getting out of your chair for 5 minutes every 90 minutes of sitting?  Reducing your dessert intake by one a week?  Smiling and saying hello to your neighbor?  Reading a verse in the Bible every day?  Holding the door for a stranger? Playing a game with a child? 

There is an old nursery rhyme attributed to Benjamin Franklin who included it in his Poor Richard's Almanac.  The earliest known written version of the rhyme is in John Gower's "Confesio Amantis" dated approximately 1390.  It speaks to the consequence of not paying attention to the little  things.  In essence, life is all about the little things. 

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.